Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

So, they are going to starve? Or are they going to have some bread and jam? Maybe a banana? Pop a potato in the microwave? I am assuming you don't have small children being left to fend for themselves. If you are getting takeout, then most places cook potatoes in vegetable oil, with no meat products. any vegetables can be ordered plain. I really don't see the issue. Sure, it is a pain to cater to special diets all the time, but every once in a while is not a big deal.

I listen because that's my role. I'm there to serve the parish, thats what I volunteered for. Without feedback, we will never improve our offer.

My DH’s best friend is vegan and although I adore him, I always have a little internal “for fucks sake” moment when I hear he’s coming to a barbecue because it means I’ve now got to buy all extra stuff -vegan burgers, vegan sausages, vegan bread, vegan salad dressing, vegan butter and then I’ve got to keep the remainder of the vegan stuff in my fridge or freezer as he’ll have one burger and one sausage out of the pack of six. And yes, I know that I could just make most of the barbecue vegan and avoid having to double the work and double the cost but I’m then pissed off because I actually want to have toasted brioche burger buns, crispy bacon and feta in the salad, real mayo in the coleslaw and corn on the cob drenched in real butter. So I double up and make the version I want plus a vegan option. I can see why people don’t like it because it is costly and a hassle if the majority being catered for are not vegan.

Sleepovers - yeah, I can see why parents would panic. If your kid wanted a pizza party sleepover, you would feel like the shittest person in the world giving pizza and cake to most of the kids and vegetables and hummus to the vegan child.

I don't think I'm even going to be able to see my way to making dinner for my own family tonight, let alone catering anything or adding special dishes.

WannaBeRecluse · 24/07/2023 23:41
It's not hard, but not everyone has the knowledge of how to do things vegan. It also depends on the vegan. Some don't even want carrots chopped with a knife that's touched animal products in the past. I'd find that too much. But if that's not you, it's not hard at all.

Thats unhygienic anyway. I wouldn’t want my veg cut with a knife that’s touched a piece of meat

Some humans are a pain. In every group of people there will be people who rub the others up the wrong way. As people keep pointing out, vegans are not mainstream so to try and say vegans are this and that, when there is so many traits that are across all humans, is madness.

Before I was a vegan, they used to make me feel a kind of way, I didn't like how they made me feel. I always said I was an animal lover and they highlighted things that I didn't want to acknowledge and accept to be true. I researched things so that I could 'debunk' their words and make myself feel better. It didn't work. I realised they were telling the truth and that I was using my money in ways I no longer wanted to.

I tried the whole 'ethical meat' prior to that, would only buy meat from our butcher who is county renowned. But when I had to get their data sheets for our cafe when we used them as a supplier, I realised that it wasn't all it seemed, the meat was heavily treated and from farms that are intensive! Went vegetarian after that, then looked into dairy and eggs, realised that they are some of the cruelest industries there are, so stooped that. The kids and husband were still cracking on with non vegan items. But they watched me, husband then looked into health implications and then he decided he didn't want to keep eating animal products which has helped him with his body immensely. The kids just didn't want to hurt animals.

And yes @Iolani that is what is frustrating. Assumptions make an ass of you and I.

For all of those suggesting I join the PTA, I already am the chair of our parish council which is like a job in itself, and I do voluntary educational speaking in schools, plus I work, have kids and a life. I do provide them vegan cakes at their bake sales and they are always all sold and compliments galore! ☺️

@Iwasafool They sound like a pain but I don’t base my opinion on you by the 2 office workers who get a McD drive through each lunchtime and fill the office with burger, chips and ketchup smells.

Some vegans are a pain, some aren’t
I just hate this sweeping judgement and generalisation.

Well, my kid is in hospital and seriously ill at the moment. None of the people asking for special dishes at events are bringing me gestures of care (vegan or not, and I am very happy with vegan). Maybe if you haven't lived this life, with this kind of child, you just can't get how what seems like a tiny thing to you is huge for someone else.

I shared a flat with a vegan once. Every single time I made an effort to cook for him, he moaned about what I had made. Not the fact that it wasn’t properly vegan (it was!) but that it wasn’t imaginative enough. I’m a decent cook but it obviously didn’t cut it. Now, I wouldn’t even bother. YOU say that ‘even just some veggies are ok’ but I bet many vegans or vegetarians would criticise us carnivores if that was all we provided for them. Hence many of us don’t bother with the effort any longer.

I’m a vegetarian (have been all my life) but I hate the fact it’s 2023 and I’m still having to act like it’s a massive favour for me to actually be able to eat something when I go places. My number one pet hate over and above the lack of actual stuff I can eat is that when there is anything veggie at maybe a family bbq, friend’s house etc it is guaranteed to always be rammed up against meat on the same plate if it’s a buffet set up. Why if I don’t eat meat would I want to eat small pieces of meat or have meat juices all over my dinner? 🙈 I take things with me to everything I go to to make it simple but usually they’re cast aside and not used. It gives me so much anxiety! I went to my now husband’s family’s house for the first time for a bbq when we were first together and they had got corn on the cobs, veggie burgers etc but proceeded to cook them on the same bbq touching all the meat. I was having to politely smile and say thanks while frantically wondering how to get out of the situation without seeming rude!

I went to an afternoon tea hen do the other week that you had to pay to attend for an afternoon tea. I was happy to pay and knew there would most likely be nothing I could actually eat at it but would pay my money and say nothing. The sister of the bride asked on the group chat if anyone had any dietary requirements and I said veggie but there would be something I could eat. Made it as low key as possible, no extra effort required (but thought surely the place will provide a separate plate of food for me)! There were other people in the chat then making silly requests about exactly how they’d like their scones or sandwich etc which just seems so trivial when they at least could eat something.

Sure enough, turned up for an afternoon tea to be sat down to us all where ham sandwiches rubbed up against anything vegetarian and an announcement was made that there were ‘lots of veggie options there’ 😃 It’s that same awful feeling of not wanting to draw any attention to yourself as you put one piece of crusty bread onto your plate that I have at every buffet I’ve ever been to! Slowly walking back to your seat trying not to make it look like you haven’t been able to eat anything in case you look rude but just assuming ‘oh well, il need to starve again then’ 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I understand. Sometimes you only have the emotional energy to deal with what is going on with your own child, and nothing more to give. You can always find someone worse off than yourself but it's a mistake to invalidate suffering because of it. Especially when people don't know what the current issue is piled on top of.

Mine is all grown up but it was 8 or 9 years of hospitals and operations. It isn't easy is it. The thing I hated most was people telling me things like children were dying in a famine somewhere. I could hardly cope with the pain of my child's suffering, expecting me to take on the sorrow of thousands and thousands of others wasn't something I could cope with. We all have our limits and sometimes we are holding on by our fingernails.

Good luck, I hope the hospital are able to help. I hated going to the hospital but after 9 years I actually cried when he was discharged and I said goodbye to the people who had helped him.

Thanks. :-) I hope your child is doing okay now and it wasn't something that lasts. I'm quite used to this drill but my heart hurts for them.

I love the way you’re basing your opinion on one vegan

I hope your child is doing OK, children in hospital is so tough isn't it. I remember my 3 year old in hospital and at one point we both had our heads on a pillow crying together. No need to worry about what others want to eat, just look after yourself.

Well, my kid is in hospital and seriously ill at the moment. None of the people asking for special dishes at events are bringing me gestures of care (vegan or not, and I am very happy with vegan). Maybe if you haven't lived this life, with this kind of child, you just can't get how what seems like a tiny thing to you is huge for someone else.

I'm not a one trick pony, I care about lots of different things and the overuse of chemicals is definitely one of them.

Glad you do have a friend that's supportive. Good luck. 👍🏻

We don't kill insects, I will swat mosquitos and gnats away, I don't want to be feasted on either. I put spiders somewhere safe if they're out and about they might get hurt, like in the shower etc. As you said, mice and rats can be dealt with humanely by moving them on and not leaving food out which is why they normally come.

Fleas and cockroaches, we all eat lots of garlic, I've not had fleas around the place and never seen a cockroach! If they did somehow infest my house, I'd have to explore the options, again, I wouldn't allow things to be a health hazard to us all. I think there might be alternatives that don't mean killing them, never researched it though.

My son is really reactive to wasps and bee stings, so we remove them as soon as they come in, but gently without hurting them.

I have seen one vegan let mice and things live in their home, but that got out of hand and the council got involved. I always think that there's enough of the world for us all to have a home. As long as the creatures aren't going to damage us, they can stay.

Spiders are nice, I leave their webs up so I don't have to clean the ceilings