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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it time?

34 replies

Pippa12 · 23/07/2023 18:49

We had our beautiful 16 year old terrier since being a puppy, he’s been amazing, never an ounce of trouble.

The past 6-12 months have been challenging. He paces constantly, he scratches to leave the room, then immediately scratches to come back in. He now does his business in the house almost daily (twice today despite me being in!). His back legs are going and he’s fallen down the stairs a few times. He’s stone deaf, literally no hearing. Partially sighted at best. He does not want to go for a walk or play. His breath is unreal, his teeth are rotten, I took him to the vets but they said he wouldn’t survive s GA to do the work needed. He’s lost a lot of weight despite him eating normally. He snapped at a lady last week (she went to stroke him- didn’t ask) thankfully he’s no teeth but I was shocked as it’s so out of character.

On the other hand he is still mobile (slowly and cautiously). His appetite is insane (I actually think he forgets we’ve fed him) and drinks no problem. He does seem to recognise us still although he’s not too bothered about affection. He would walk on the lead around the block.

I feel like it’s time we started to think about saying goodbye, my husband thinks he’s still eating, drinking and walking so its too premature.

Its heartbreaking but i cannot cope with the constant urinating and pooing in the house, watching him aimlessly wandering like he’s no idea where he is…

Whats the right thing to do? Would the vet advise us what’s best for him or do we make the decision?

My husband wants to wait (till it’s obvious ie: fits/heartattack/stroke)… I’d rather it be controlled and calm…

who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 23/07/2023 19:24

@Thelonelygiraffe his teeth started to fall out over the past year or so, he’s had ‘dental treatments’ from the vets but couldn’t risk surgery. The vet said it was normal age related deterioration.

He is on pain relief daily.

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 23/07/2023 19:21

Thank you so much for your kind words, after the discussion with my husband I felt like I was wicked even thinking it.

My husband is not an unreasonable man, I know deep down he is struggling to come to terms with it.

He's been a belting dog, I’m heartbroken but I know what we need to do.

Thank you all again

OP posts:
Thelonelygiraffe · 23/07/2023 19:21

It sounds like it's time. Just 'eating' is not enough quality of life.

His teeth - how did they all get in such a state? Did that all happen recently? That alone must be so painful for him.

I'd talk to your vet, ask their opinion if your h is unwilling to have him PTS.

Intothewoodswithallthegoods · 23/07/2023 19:20

The snapping made it clear to me. It really does sound like it’s time.

With my beloved cat as his dementia developed it was obvious to me that as long as he could sleep on my bed at night and purr away on my lap during the day, all was right with the world as far as he was concerned.

Then one night he slept on the stairs and the next few days I could tell it was absolutely time to let him go.

It really does sound like your boy has dementia on top of his physical ailments and as a PP said has no quality of life. I’m so sorry OP.

ModerationInEverything · 23/07/2023 19:16

I read on here, better a week too early than a day too late, and I really think that's the kindest approach to take. He has been your friend for sixteen years, the right thing for him may be the hardest thing for you.
From what you say, it sounds like the time.
I'm so sorry, I know how difficult this is.

Justhereforthechristmasthreads · 23/07/2023 19:15

He sounds like he has no quality of life. It sounds like he is suffering from dementia too. I would ask the vet what they think before making a final decision, make sure to give them all the facts you have posted here. It's such a difficult choice to make. Only you know if he is telling you he is ready

Soggysummer2023 · 23/07/2023 19:15

It sounds like he is uncomfortable and potentially in pain. I think it’s definitely time.

Poppysmom22 · 23/07/2023 19:13

If he's always been clean in the house you know how much he hates doing it inside. This is when I knew it was my boys time the look on his face when he couldn't make it to the door told me.

Poppysmom22 · 23/07/2023 19:11

I am so sorry but I think you know it's time. Quiet and calm would be better maybe consider someone coming to your home if you can bear it.