Is this tight ?!

I think so too or at least resentful that she had to be reminded and chased up.

A reminder to pay (or multiple reminders) will probably result in OP getting paid back for the airport meal but she will still be irked as she has been treated badly.

I think the reminder to pay is going to have to come with a message about how resentful you are that she has taken advantage of you for years. Do you have mutual friends who say anything about this?

This. With bells on.

Completely unsurprised she hasn't paid. She wasn't too busy for a free holiday though was she!

Well, this was expected really wasnt it? her comment that she'd "try" to transfer the money was a huge red flag that she wasnt going to and never planned to do it. Notice how she didnt "try" to have some spa treatments, she did them without hesitation because they were important to her. When its something important to you, she doesnt GAF.

I agree with sending another message but I'd be extremely wary of meeting up with her again even if you intend to split the bill because there are multiple ways she could get out of it and you'll end up paying anyway. Eg "oh my goodness, I've forgotten my purse, my bank card isnt working- there's probably an issue with the bank, Urgh, I'm so sorry, I dont have any cash on me- silly me, tee hee!" etc.

You'll end up paying because you cant leave a restaurant or cafe without paying for everything and the entire ridiculous charade will continue, with her "trying" to pay you back and never actually doing so. I'm really not sure why you'd even want to meet up with her again now she's shown her ugly inner self.

Awful. I really think you should send that text posted this evening that a few of us cited. It was absolutely spot on.

Post of the day.

No amount of beauty treatments would fix that ugliness.

Setting what expectations?

I expect you to buy me a gift?
I don't expect you to itemise a drinks bill.
I don't expect you to dodge your airport meal bill and then not transfer me the money when you said you would.

Exactly, *Iwishmymumwouldbemymum^.

As the thread shows, almost everyone would automatically buy the OP a gift, pick up the bar bill and pay for the airport meal as a way of saying thank you.

WhiteParasol I think making it clear you noticed that she sneakily didn't pay her share at the airport and splitting everything 50:50 from now on is about as far as you will get with this particular CF. If sepatrate bills are possible, I loved the idea upthread of having the odd fiver and some coins to prevent the rubbish 'only got £20 note' tactic.

She is quite charming and complimentary, but when I think back, she never has money for a taxi or can't break a note , if you are in a market etc never has cash , all small amounts but never gives back

There you go. I knew it would come out sooner or later.

She's a Grade A CF.

Op do not let it go.

I put money on it she's hoping you will forget about the money at the airport.

She sounds like CF and knows it tbh. People like your friend has no shame !

Setting what expectations?

I expect you to buy me a gift?
I don't expect you to itemise a drinks bill.
I don't expect you to dodge your airport meal bill and then not transfer me the money when you said you would.

How would any of those things come up?

When you've been very generous to someone and then they are tight back it's a very unpleasant situation. You're only really entitled to ask for the 'owed' money (in this case the airport meal) but it's doubly offensive because it's a blatant lack of acknowledgement of all the generosity you've shown already.

I think are unreasonable for not setting expectations at the beginning.

she should have offered, but as you were covering her holiday maybe she thinks you have far more money than you do?

id back way off.

OP, honestly they don't make them like you anymore! I'd be seething at this CF and your revenge is "splitting the bill from now on". I'd be standing outside the restaurant with my foot accidentally on purpose stretched in front of her ooopsy daisy! And I'd be laughing when she hit the floor (in my head anyway).

I've had a few incidents like this over the years: taking people on holiday or letting friends stay at mine, only for them to be extra tight about things in return. One friend recently stayed at mine for free for 3 weeks, saving her £100s in rent - totally fine with that as I love to help friends out. The day she left she asked me if I wanted to go out for breakfast (assumed she was offering the way she asked) but no 😅. Wasn't the worst incident and I wasn't angry, but just surprised. Friends who are like this, mutual friends talk about it and it puts off people from helping them. If someone goes out of their way to help me, I try and do everything I can to show I appreciate it, because I do so can be surprising when others seem so oblivious!

I am an orthadox tight arse but your friend is taking the piss!

We were typing at same time. Yep if you don’t get it message daily… maybe with the link to Mumsnet post 😆

Please can you let us know when she has transferred the airport lunch payment… keep checking back to check… if she hasn’t. Why not send her a link to this thread ☺️🤪

not sure how gready became greddy!

You paid the Wet Lettuce Tax for sitting there and saying nothing. Serves you right.

Firstly if I see as the friend I would have let you choose the room as I was essentially getting a free holiday and secondly yes I like you would have paid the whole bar bill, a grand total of like £120 for a holiday is a bargain.

Should you say anything? Whatever you say will prob offend your friend and cause bad feeling so it depends how close you are and if you'll be bothered if they give you the cold shoulder for a few months, I would take it as a lesson and not offer anything like this again should the opportunity arise, take someone less tight. If she is stuck for money she shouldn't have accepted the invite as there will always be unforeseen costs in cabs, drinks, days out etc.

Heh, yes, I know that, but many replies took the CF’s side.

That's not a free trip, the OP worked for that