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AIBU?

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DS form class in comp

37 replies

Bigjamsandwich · 22/07/2023 08:54

DS is off to comp in September and I’ve recently found out that he’s been put in a supported form class (he’s on the pathway for ADHD.) The supported form class will mean that there will be more TA support and he will have more support with his work etc.

Unfortunately, his friendship group from primary are all in another form class together and he is upset that he is separated from them all.

DH and I explained to our son that we would request for him to be in a class with his friends but unfortunately this was before we knew about the supported form class.

School have said they could possibly move him to be with his friends but this would mean less support. He is extremely close to all the boys and has been with them all since nursery.

He doesn’t know that he’s on the pathway for ADHD.

OP posts:
Bigjamsandwich · 22/07/2023 09:19

Jwhb · 22/07/2023 09:05

Does he need extra support with learning? Is he a long way behind peers?

He does need extra support with his learning, frustratingly he is very bright but if left to his own devices he will do little to no work 😞

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 22/07/2023 09:17

I have kids in support class in high school. The whole school knows they are supoort classes and some kids do make unkind comments so you are going to need to prepare him. I wouldn't move him esp since he is undiagnosed and unmedicated. High school can be very unstructured in the sense they need to get themselves to classed, record their own homework, he will need the support

QuillBill · 22/07/2023 09:14

I think it's best to leave them to find new friends in secondary. It could be an advantage not being with people from primary. He will still have them as friends but will meet new people too.

The school will have lots of things going on to help them break the ice with each other. Those who hang on to their previous friends may miss out on the chance to talk to new people.

Bigjamsandwich · 22/07/2023 09:13

He’s only recently been put on the ADHD pathway. At a meeting with his primary SENCO I asked him for advice about discussing this with my son and he strongly recommended not telling him until he has an official diagnosis but this could take years unfortunately.

We discuss ADHD a lot in our house. Youngest is autistic, I’m on the pathway myself for ADHD and we talk a lot about brain differences and how his brain works a little bit differently to others. We haven’t officially told him he’s on the pathway though.

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 22/07/2023 09:11

Yes you should tell your son about the ADHD pathway- these days there’s little or no stigma attached to it. In terms of moving him I think I’d be explaining that form time is very limited and seeing how he gets on, in the longer term the extra support he will get is likely to be more helpful. That said I totally understand why he’s upset.

BoohooWoohoo · 22/07/2023 09:07

I think that you should tell your son about the ADHD pathway before someone at school who knows about the supported form tells your son. Some kids will know because they have been told that they are in that form, have a sibling or know an older child who was in that form. I'm

EmeraldFox · 22/07/2023 09:06

You are seeking a diagnosis for an 11 year old without their knowledge or consent?

Jwhb · 22/07/2023 09:05

Does he need extra support with learning? Is he a long way behind peers?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 22/07/2023 09:04

He doesn't know he's on the pathway for ADHD

this is where you’re going wrong…

Outwiththenorm · 22/07/2023 09:04

That’s a tough one. What did his primary school say? How much support is he likely to need? Friends are so important at that age but he will also certainly make new ones.

(I also understand why the school is doing this and on paper it seems like a good use of support staff, but also a bit concerning at children with additional needs being segregated from others.)

DisquietintheRanks · 22/07/2023 09:03

He doesn't know he's on the pathway for ADHD

Well this is where you start: he needs to know.

Does he need more support in class? What will happen if he doesn't get it?

It's tricky. If he does have adhd you, he and the school will need to work as a team. But I can see linking his potential adhd to not being able to be with his friends isn't going to help him accept it.

MojoMoon · 22/07/2023 08:58

Friendships change a lot at the start of secondary and subject classes will eventually be mixed across from groups so there is plenty of room for interaction with other forms. If he has additional needs that will be better met in this class, I wouldn't move him.

Does he know this is an extra support form? You need to tell him - it will be very obvious at school that there is a specific grouping.
Does he think he needs extra support?