To hate being told I look so young

Do you know what else is grim?

Finding that because you look young in your 20s, any man of the same age who is interested in you romantically is considered to be predatory.

Looking young can also easily stunt your dating options - and as a result your chances of starting a family.

And how grim is that 🤢 predatory men

I have always looked my age and would be offended if people thought I looked much younger than I am. It's misogynistic.

I can definitely see why it would be annoying for you. People probably assume you have less maturity and experience than you do.

You might be best off working extra hard to identify a more mature clothing style, hairstyle etc in order to be taken seriously. It isn't fair that you should have to do that, but it's something which is in your control.

PS I'll tell you another thing you may not even realise is affecting you disproportionately: sexual harassment. The older you get (or rather, the older you appear), the more free of it you become. I never noticed how bad it was until I reached middle age and discovered that it disappeared. It was such a huge relief not to have to deal with that shit constantly.

Same here! I looked at pics of myself In my 20s and my face was very round, full of acne, it was before I had braces and honestly feel I look so much better now. However I wasn't short of male attention then and I do wonder if that is simply because I was very 'young' looking.

No, they don't necessarily. Misogyny applies all the time. But you're on the back foot in terms of credibility if you look younger.

This was interesting www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/age-discrimination-women_l_64ac0fe0e4b02fb0e6f9d516

I think you’re very naive if you think older women have an easier time in the workplace and are more likely to be promoted/hired.

As a parent, anyone with authority (doctors, nurses, school staff) has always spoken to the adultier adult right over me if my mum happened to be present. I’m 33 and DD is now 11. I’m short, skinny and baby faced.
The majority of replies you'll get will be sneering. Which probably smacks of jealousy on some level. That's the go to on here with threads like this.
It's no fucking joke though. It's demeaning, embarrassing and it makes you feel belittled. It eats away at you every time it happens.
We're all adults here, would the rest of you like to be spoken down to or treated like a child because of how you look? I'll guess not.

Cheer up, it won't be long before you're given a senior's discount without being asked if you qualify.

When I think of me and my peer group we all look better late 30s than we did as teens/20s, I don't get this obsession with youth.

Same, it gets to a point where its just offensive because they're not looking at you. They're looking at some external facade. They're not really seeing you.
I ignore it in people who I don't interact with frequently but for those you do you need to make sure you have the confidence self assurance and assertiveness of your years and make sure its on display in everything you do: walk talk dress, everything

I managed it, but I worked on being assertive. It's difficult, but not impossible.

I agree that being petite and young looking in a work place isn’t a positive. Trying to work your way up the career ladder can be hindered, people taking you seriously etc.

In nearly all other areas of life it’s a positive for sure apart from work

Not in many workplaces & not if you want to have authority especially working with men.

I have a side parting and subtle highlights - still get people thinking I’m 20 years younger than I am! Never owned anything from Boden though…It’s just genetics.

You had your baby at 46?

I hear you, I’m 50 but have a 4 year old when I had my oldest now 27 I was accused of being a child 🤦‍♀️

I think because being petite and being young looking are generally assets in our society.

Wow, there are a lot of people on here who just don't get it.

Bit like the threads where someone gets teased (or bullied, even) for being a size 6, and posters accuse them of boasting, and go on about how lucky they are .

Oh poor you!
Carry some I.D.

Oh boo boo. Wait till you get given the over 60 discount in Iceland without asking for it 😂

It is indeed. Then we become hags and dried up old crones who are objects of derision and scorn.

If it helps, I got ID'd constantly until 35, got pregnant, had a rough time and had a baby who didn't sleep for 2 whole years. I'm 38 now and never get ID'd and would accept people saying I now look at least 5 years older than my actual age.

People used to tell me to enjoy being IDd and I'd roll my eyes but they were right and I was not....

I think it's because we live in a society that values youth, particularly among females.

And why is that? Because women tend to be more fertile when they're younger.

Valuing women for looking young is about patriarchy and traditional gender roles as being able to breed.

People are indeed directly associating looking young with being good looking and it's really not always the case. Are all women over 40 ugly? Not at all

I think it's because we live in a society that values youth, particularly among females. Ageism is normally used against older people, particularly women. Even on here, derogatory terms are used and middle aged is a term of abuse. So yes, in a society that venerates youth, looking young is an asset. However, I think some of the attendant problems described are probably solvable.