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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Complementary wine.

43 replies

starfis · 20/07/2023 11:52

Ok, we stayed at a air bnb and there was a complementary wine for us in the fridge which we didn’t have (I don’t drink wine) we took it when we checked out (last year Feb.) and I have now packaged it for a thank you gift for daughter's teacher & hubby is saying it is his drink and saying why am I giving his drink away.
Am I being unreasonable to think it is not his drink that he is mad & childish?

We have lots of wines and spirit at home and this wine I have packaged is not like an expensive bottle in my opinion because I have not touched any of his cherished expensive brands.

AIBU to have packaged that bottle as a gift?
AIBU to pissed off he is saying the wine is his?
AIBU not to have asked him 1st?
AIBU to think he is silly and childish?

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 20/07/2023 12:35

Hmm, my DH doesn't drink wine. If there was some complimentary wine that we took from an air bnb, I would probably view it as mine and not for him to decide what to do with it. I'd be thinking "ooh a nice bottle of wine, I'll take that home to drink sometime" and wouldn't expect him to give it away.
And if it was cider (which I don't drink) I'd view it as DH's and wouldn't decide what was done with it.

toastofthetown · 20/07/2023 12:33

ImNotReallySpartacus · 20/07/2023 12:25

Why is it his wine rather than yours?

For the same reason that the complementary face mask from a hotel DH and I stayed in together is mine not his. It’s something that I’ll use and he has no interest in. I wouldn’t be happy if he gave it away as a gift without asking me.

mondaytosunday · 20/07/2023 12:33

Presumably as you don't not drink wine, that bottle was taken as he would have liked to drink it at a later date. So I think it's reasonable to ask before giving it away.
If it had been a complimentary chocolates and he didn't eat chocolate but you did, wouldn't you be annoyed if you found out he'd given them away? I would be.

ImNotReallySpartacus · 20/07/2023 12:25

Why is it his wine rather than yours?

liveforsummer · 20/07/2023 12:19

GardeningIdiot · 20/07/2023 12:15

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

Good idea!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/07/2023 12:18

Oh, what was his plan for the teacher present?

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

Also this

GardeningIdiot · 20/07/2023 12:15

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

liveforsummer · 20/07/2023 12:10

Fwiw all the teachers I work with love it when they are gifted wine 😊

readbooksdrinktea · 20/07/2023 12:08

KimberleyClark · 20/07/2023 12:02

I think YABU on all counts.

This.

You should have asked. And I think it's unreasonable to give a teacher wine.

MinnieMountain · 20/07/2023 12:06

We both drink wine. I’d still check with DH before giving one away.

mindutopia · 20/07/2023 12:04

I mean I don't think it's a big deal on his part - surely he can just buy a bottle of wine if he wants one (which he obviously hasn't for 18 ish months).

But I think YABU to gift wine as a teacher gift personally. You don't know if the teacher in question drinks or can't have alcohol in the house for whatever reason (students do give me alcohol sometimes and it's a bit annoying as I'm an alcoholic, but dh will drink it, but it's a bit of a shit gift tbf). It's also a bit not very special as you are just re-gifting something you took from an Airbnb. But I guess only you know if you know this teacher well enough for it to be an appropriate and appreciated gift.

Sigmama · 20/07/2023 12:03

I presume you both paid for the air bnb

KimberleyClark · 20/07/2023 12:02

I think YABU on all counts.

Jongleterre · 20/07/2023 12:01

Seek h as he has loads of wine already and this bottle is nothing special then I think k it's a good idea to use a gift.

Sigmama · 20/07/2023 12:01

I would have asked him first, he might have been looking forward to it

toastofthetown · 20/07/2023 12:00

If you don’t drink wine, then surely assumption was that the bottle taken from the Airbnb is your husband’s. It’s not your decision to make whether it’s better or worse than other wines you have, and whether he has other bottles available. It’s his wine, and giving it away as a gift without asking is unreasonable. I don’t think it’s silly or childish not to want your stuff given away as gifts.

Readyplayerthr33 · 20/07/2023 12:00

He sounds like a child. Must be exhausting if this is indicative of his behaviour normally.

1987qwerty · 20/07/2023 11:56

He's being a twat