How often do you see your dm

Maybe your mums lonely

Her behaviour isn't a normal or proportionate reaction to loneliness, though.

I phone her every day, just to check that she’s ok and doesn’t need anything urgently and either DH or I will pop in with shopping or a newspaper every other day. But, she’s not in good health, she doesn’t do texts or WhatsApp and we have a good relationship. I like her, she’s not demanding and she doesn’t criticise or emotionally abuse me, so it’s not a chore and I don’t dread seeing her name pop up on my phone.

DH sees his mum a couple of times a year and they’ll talk every couple of weeks, but she’s much younger, in better health and has a much busier life.

In your position I would go nc. I know it’s not easy but if she’s got you to this state, I think it’s totally necessary.

I see mine for a weekend every couple of months - she lives 200 miles away. If we lived close by, I'd probably see her every couple of weeks I think. We message each other fairly regularly.

I love my mum dearly and we get on really well in general, but I wouldn't want to see her every single day. I'm an adult with my own life. I don't think I know anyone at all who sees their mum every single day and I think a lot of adults would find that very suffocating and weird,.

It is certainly not normal for your mum to be phoning you with emotional blackmail and saying you are terrible if you don't see her or answer the phone. That is abusive.

We live 4000 miles apart, so can only manage 1 trip to see her a year. Mind you, I spend a good solid 3 weeks with her, which compared to friends who have parents who live locally, actually works out to be more time with her than they manage.

Throughout the year, I call her every other day.

Once a year but i FaceTime her daily (my choice)

It's been nearly two decades now and I don't think we're going to start taking tea together any time soon. 😁

If your mother makes you feel suicidal, there are options. Maybe hop over to 'relationships' and peruse the 'stately homes' thread. Look after yourself.

About once every six weeks. She’s retired but busy with an amazing social life and lives three hours away. Speak about once a fortnight. WhatsApp random things most days.

Speak on the phone every other day (sometimes 5 mins, sometimes 40). See her once every 5-6 weeks

I see mine once or twice a month, she lives an hour away. DH sees his mum once a year she lives 7 hours away.
If they lived closer we'd see them more but not every day.
Maybe your mums lonely, does she have her own friends and interests?

See her once a week properly, so a morning out together with tea and cake.

Then chat on the phone three times a week and text chat every day.

I have sisters who all do similar so she's quite busy with us all.

Not often tbh , rarely rings. Always been this way. I’ve given up . I’m sad about it as my parents are elderly now so I try and go to see them when I can. I’ve never had any help with my dcs, never gone with me and my dcs to playground , buggy walks etc . It was the same per-dcs , just no interest whatsoever , I tried to do the whole “can we hang out and be a mum and daughter but she never wanted to go for coffee or spend time together 🤷🏻‍♀️ Obviously not going to happen now. Different world to a lot around me and on here tbh.

Maybe once a year.

As little as possible.

You should address the issue with her and find her things to do locally for older people. So over 55s lunch clubs, social groups etc.

My mum is 72 (dad a bit younger, but retired) and we see them a couple of times a year because of distance. We speak on the phone on average once a week.

They're very busy and always out doing things.

My in laws live round the corner and we see them once or twice a week, depending on what we've got going on.

If my parents lived more locally we'd see them more often.

I see my mum about once a fortnight and speak to her once or twice a week. Occasionally sent her WhatsApp if I’ve seen something relevant and want tj share it with her.

Around 2-4 times a week depending on what we’ve got going on. Daily would be too much for me, I don’t even want to see DH that much.

2-3 times a week. My parents live super close to us and we have an amazing relationship.

About twice a year , due to distance and us having a poor relationship.

When you say 'feeling I just want to end things' do you mean end your life or end the relationship?

Please speak to someone, like the Samaritans or a counsellor, if you mean end your life.

A mother shouldn't make their child feel overwhelmed, you're entitled to space to live your own life.

Once a week and a couple of phone calls (she would never text or WhatsApp). My DM is 90 and in good health and fiercely independent with a good circle of friends, hobbies & interests. She is very conscious of not wanting to be 'a nuisance', we are 'close' but have never lived in each other's pockets or been over dependent on each other. I am aware that I do need to spend a little more time with before it's too late and/or she needs more actual care.

Every day. I'm her carer. :(

My dm has passed away now but ever since l left home l saw her once a week and one call unless there was some news or excitement to discuss. Never once in all those years did she make a demand on me to come more often etc.
My dc are now adults. We randomly message on a family WhatsApp, call weekly usually and they visit whenever suits. To be honest l am busier than they are so l am never sitting waiting for a visit.

It's too much for you . Can you schedule a call say every Wednesday evening and visit at the weekend for an hour or two. The terrible thing is these mums drive their kids away hounding them. Their huge demands would drive anyone to no contact. Could you get some counselling for yourself to plan a way of getting her to back off. Believe me you are not a bad dd. She is being totally unreasonable.

I see my Mum a couple of times a week. We speak on the phone usually a couple of times a day.

Every few months because we don't live close by if we did then I'd probably pop in once a weeek

When my mom was still alive I saw her about once a year. She lived too far away for us to manage more often. We tried to alternate who made the trip.