To be uncomfortable with this?

I’m on team cute. It won’t amount to anything at the end of the day as they are 11. It will be a good memory for her and he will feel ‘grown up’ about giving her a gift.

you’re looking at this from a adult lens and the adult implications of a jewelry gift. To kids at this age this is the same as sweets or a piece of ‘jewelry’ that is made out of plastIc.

It feels too much too soon for me as well. I’m not sure the girl’s parents will be thrilled by it. I think your DS needs to learn to take things slowly. Set him up now for what healthy relationships look like.

Hmm it’s a funny age isn’t it - on the cusp of discovering relationships. My dd had a ‘boyfriend’ when she was 6-8 and he bought her some v cute valentines presents etc probably around a tenner. But it was completely innocent and just quite sweet. At 11 it’s a bit different and I’d say it’s a bit much - keep it for an occasion maybe.

Well how does the girl top it?

What can she buy him in return?

Because she will want to....

I think it’s too much, and just feels a bit off. Fwiw I received a similar gift aged 14 and it made me feel really uncomfortable. Too serious too soon or something, then I felt guilty. Intervene now if you can, suggest alternatives, sweets etc

I think t's quite cute! My boyfriend age 10/11 gave me some framed, cut flowers. I am 44 and still have them somewhere! She'll keep that necklace :)

DS had a girlfriend in yr5. She wrote him loads of love letters and we've kept them in a tin for him for when he's older! (the relationship was quite one sided! He was a bit anti 'girls' and into football and doing silly stuff with his friends. She was a fair bit more mature!! Think the relationship lasted all of about 4 weeks!!)

It's a very adult and very personal gift for an 11 year old to either give or receive. At that age, I'd expect him to want to buy her some sweets or something on that level.
To jump straight from 11 year olds going to the sweet shop together, to buying a proper jewellery gift, it's too much too soon.
I'd have words with your son about him not needing to give the girl "stuff" to win her over, just spending time together is enough.
I'd have words with your DH about what on earth he was thinking going along with that.

If my son would have mentioned wanting to buy a gift for this girl my DH would have done exactly the same thing thing.

I can just imagine the conversation now. My husband's point of view would be. "He wanted to. It's only £20"

I'd feel uncomfortable as a parent of the child receiving a gift of this value. It's a friendship between children and child appropriate gifts should be exchanged only. It's easy to get carried away when you are new to the 'dating' game lol. He sounds a lovely young man, teach him about small meaningful gestures.

Your DH has a lot to learn to, what was he thinking?!

If my 12 year old son did this i’d feel awkward about it too. But having said that… I have a silver necklace with a tiny silver football on it, and my “boyfriend “ gave it too me when I was 6 years old for my birthday . Who am I too judge😂

Go with your gut op

You are uncomfortable for some reason.

That's a very adult gift for a childhood sweet shop crush.

Maybe you're uncomfortable because it feels a bit love-bombish. Like 'look at this amazing necklace I got you - now you HAVE to be my girlfriend because I've made this over the top gesture and if you reject me now you'll look like a bitch'.

I'm not for one minute suggesting that that is your lovely, sweet DS's thought process. But maybe it's triggering for you because you've been in that situation with That Guy before and you don't want your DS to be That Guy.

Going to the sweet shop sounds like an ideal first date BTW! I know I will be feeling all sorts of emotions when my baby boy starts dating. Bless you both.

R

It's a bit more than I would expect on a random gift at that age/relationship stage, but it isn't outrageous. For comparison, my BF at the same age bought me a goldfish... We had no fish-keeping paraphernalia. I'm fairly sure my DM would have preferred I was given a (comparatively) cheap necklace! 😬

My nephew had a ‘girlfriend’ at that age. They went to the cinema. One of his other aunties made some joke about snogging in the back row and my nephew looked at her as if she was insane, pulled a face and said “No? We’re only 11 innit, what’s wrong with you?”

It is normal for kids to have crushes on each other and announce they are are boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s really nothing sinister.

Birthday or Christmas fine just a random gift no.

I'd be chatting to DH about this. I'd want to know what messages he's getting about how to be a good boyfriend.

I don't think it's 'cute' either

This is a very weird judgement. The girlfriend is an 11-year-old child, not some kind of grasping femme fatale intent on fleecing him She wasn’t even there when he bought it. He went to buy it with his dad!

OP, I think it’s adorable that he wanted to buy her a present, and I definitely got given some little bits of costume jewellery by a boy when I was about that age! Maybe £20 seems quite a lot to spend, and I think DH should have reined it in a bit, but I think the overall sentiment is pretty harmless. They’re 11; it’s basically playing at being boyfriend and girlfriend at that age and this is just part of that I think. I wouldn’t worry.

I don't think it's cute. He's a young child, why is he having girlfriends? 11yo aren't as naive as you think op.

It’s sweet! I couldn’t get worked up over this.

Oh I couldn’t get worked up about this. If it became a weekly occurrence, I’d probably be a bit more concerned but this is just quite sweet. I still have a little bracelet my ‘boyfriend’ bought me when I was 10, and he was 11.

Too much too soon. Overly generous and seems like he’s being taken advantage of. You need to speak to him about being sensible with money and not giving it away to people. Teenage years are when the naive kids get conned out of money by the more savvy ones!

He's a late starter my son was 9 when he conned me in to buying his girlfriend a silver knecklace.... this was for valentines day 😄
We laugh about it now he's much older.

Is there a reason behind the present?