Is this ok or is it stealing?

it's petrol and parking, right? You aren't selling her home.

You’re not stealing, you’re using her money to buy for her the things she needs, food,drinks, laundry, toiletries plus the travel/ parking expenses to get those items to her. Just keep the receipts of bank withdrawals and items bought.

Well I was ridiculous enough to work in banking for a very long time so I do know what they would consider theft. The fact that the OP knows the PIN is irrelevant beyond the fact that the bank might not notice for a very long time.

As on another thread if a sibling, family member, good friend, questioned the OP taking money then it would lead to an investigation and possibly a prosecution. I truly doubt a bank would go that far as they'd look at the whole situation but freezing the account would certainly happen.

Sorry, just saw your update. Glad you got a loan from your aunt and uncle. Perhaps the wider family could chip in as opposed to just a loan. Does she have many brothers and sisters? Are you an only child? Does she have cousins etc? If I were in the position I'd be happy to help a relative with this, not in a loan capacity but just chipping in. If everyone gave a bit it would help a lot.

What mother in this world wouldn't consent to that. Of course you should. Your mother wouldn't want you getting into financial troubles, none of us would want that for our child and would absolutely want our child to do what you suggest.

The title is “is this ok or is this stealing”, the answer to “is this stealing” is possibly not. Now “is this ok” is a bigger and complicated question, hence the hundreds of responses with varying opinions. Taking the op’s account of events as completely true, it could definitely be argued that, no it isn’t stealing and while it could feel wrong, it is what I and many others would wish for their children to do in that situation.

This isn't about theft. It's about using an incapacitated person's back card without her true consent.

I realise this is academic now as op has said she managed to borrow some money. But no it wouldn’t. Legally this is potentially one of the situations where the op’s actions may not class as dishonest for the reason I mentioned.

If you use your mums money, keep receipts and journal what the money was for. Perhaps ask another relative to help.
get power of attorney quickly is another option.

Under the theft act 1968 theft is defined as dishonestly appropriating property of another with the intention of permanently depriving them of the property. The act states it is not dishonest if you believe permission would have been given if they had known about it. Which you believe your mum would have done and it is not your intention to permanently deprive her of the money therefore it is not theft. Morally I wouldn't be concerned either

Theft means that your intention is to permanently deprive the owner, if you keep receipts and offer to pay the money back either when your mum is better or when you are paid i would be surprised if it would be viewed as theft. In these circumstances I wouldn't consider it immoral either and know as a parent I would want my children to do what you suggest, and I know my mum would me too. I suppose that depends on how you and your mum are and you know that yourself.

I hope that if this ever happened to me, I would have someone as caring and dedicated as you are looking after me!! I hope you are managing to take a little time to yourself every day. Just to process whats happening and take a breath!!

Speak to the hospital security, they shd be able to give u day passes to park for free even if u have to go and get them everyday, I've never known a hospital not do this

@Blurred4 I'm quite worried that lots of people have told you it's ok to use your Mum's card. It isn't, even with her permission. If she gives you the PIN she is breaking the terms of her banking agreement and if you use the card as if you are her, you are also breaking the rules.

When your Mum is better, she can ask the bank to give you third party access to her account to protect her in this sort of situation. Then you'd get your own card to access her account.

I'm glad they've kept your Mum's belongings safe.

How difficult for you. My local hospital offers a weekly parking pass that is considerably cheaper but that's not helping atm. I'm guessing your mum has a UTI or similar so your presence will be really appreciated by the ward staff. If someone is a bit 'puggled' yhey can become suspicious and frightened.
Unfortunately I don't have say advice that will help atm however I suggest when your mum is well again you sort out legal power of attorney. There's a lot of misunderstanding around this but it s perfectly OK to set it up now. It will only be initiated if your mum is unable to make decisions for herself eg yes Blur, take a few quid out of my account for travel/visits.
The likelihood of anyone finding out (should you go ahead) is low and presumably your mum has shared her PIN.....but if she lacks mental capacity atm it could lead to Safeguarding investigations.
Personally I'd take the money but I'm a risk taker by nature. I'm reluctant to advise someone else to though!

My adult DD has a savings account which I opened in her name and I put in £10 a month to cover this type of scenario. I have had two major health issues in the last 18 years, so after the first one I wanted to make sure she had access to money in an emergency, either to do with visiting me in hospital etc or if there was an urgent problem to do with my home. I should really get a POA, so that's something I need to think about.

I would use it. I know with absolute certainty that my Mum would want me to, as I would with my own kids. You’re just covering the additional costs you’ve incurred due to her illness. It’s not as if you’re buying a new TV and some fancy shoes!!
Those who say they wouldn’t clearly don’t have as good a relationship with their mum.

I wouldn’t. I have a credit card for emergencies, i’d use that if I ran out of money.

Take £100 for petrol and parking. Tell the rest of your family you are doing this and leave her a note.

Would you think her mother would rather her not visit then ?????

It absolutely would!
It's financial abuse.

My Mum and I'm sure your Mum would say to use the card, she loves you so much and you're doing a wonderful job looking after her. As you say, keep a record if you need to explain it. Close your eyes, imagine what your Mum would say to you and go with that. The fact you're pondering and worrying shows it doesn't sit easy with you so of course you aren't mercilessly stealing to buy make up etc, you are enabling yourself to be there for her. Xx

An alternative to power of attorney is third party authority on her bank accounts.
you can access her accounts on her behalf. When she’s better, you can visit the branch (if there’s one left!) together to get it sorted.
my mum had it for my grandparents, so she could pay bills and transfer the £

You have to have POA or guardianship in place before you start taking money from her whilst she does not have capacity. There’s a difference between what you are suggesting and your mum saying there’s my card go and take some money out. This could be classed as theft and financial abuse.
To get POA and or guardianship can take months. I know this as I have guardianship for my disabled son.