Would you date a married man but technically separated

I did. But it massively depends on the circumstances. He was separated for a few years after marrying young, but not divorced, no children, no complications, and he was on good terms with ex. who was happy with another partner He divorced to marry me 10 years later as a technicality. Never really mentioned since (27 years), although it did make our four children do a "double take, shake head a bit" to find I was wife 2, when they were all adults themselves. That said, back to the original question, I would not date a man who proclaimed to be "separated" without decent evidence or lack of complications.

Yes if they weren't living together and the divorce was in progress. No otherwise.

It’s never worked out for anyone I know IRL so no, I wouldn’t. I would like a fresh start with zero chew

I did this in the past, and I’d never advise anyone to do it. There’s no need to put yourself through a vicarious divorce.

I have, but in each case I was also married but separated. One of the men did reconcile with his wife after we'd been dating for a few months and I was a bit cross with myself for wasting my time on him but it was the best outcome as we weren't suitable for one another and they're still married over 20 years later. My DH and I were living together by the time we both had our Decree Absolutes.

I know someone who did this for 15+ years, had kids, bought a house.

Man died, house had to be sold to pay his (ex) wife 50%.

Just awful.

If no kids (my stipulation anyway), totally separate lives, practicalities squared away other than divorce itself and hanging on for 2 or 5 years apart if that still applies then fine.

Any uncertain personal lines, shared property, business, still popping round to do DIY or socialise etc then no thanks.

I wouldn't want the complication.

Isn't that just a thing that married men say? I'd tell him to come back when he's divorced, for a start, and then see how it goes. Sadly there are always women who believe these cheating scumbags (I do accept there will be a tiny minority who are not).

Sorry, I meant to quite this.

This. I understand that divorce takes time, but if they are properly separated there's no reason he wouldn't tell his stbxw.

I know a woman who did this. He was 6 months separated from a long marriage. All still seems to be good but they don't live together which makes a massive difference and still only really see each just of a weekend.

It depends, I have and it was fine and he did get divorced many years later. I wasn't a secret, I met his family and friends and his wife knew. What I wouldn't do is a have a child in that situation or buy a house together.

Depends on the situation. I was still technically married when I met dh, we’d been separated about a year and I had no contact with him at all- he’d relocated. Dh and I instigated the divorce once we knew we wanted to get married ourselves and we’ve now been married 15 years.

I dated two guys in this situation. Both swore to me that the marriage was over.

In both cases, once the wife found out he had someone else she wanted to 'give it another go' and I got dumped.

In the first case the wife and kids moved back in and stayed precisely one week, then she moved them out again. He ended up in a MH unit. Months later he contacted me and wanted to try again, but I refused.

In the second case it didn't work out and he started 'sniffing around' again. I told him in no uncertain terms I wasn't interested.

After that I wouldn't date anyone unless they had 'Decree Absolute' pinned on their chest !

Friend of mine has been living with a man who is still married for 4 years. Their house is in his name only because of her bad credit rating. He doesn't seem to have any intention of ever getting divorced even though they are trying for a baby. I've tried to tell her what a shit show this could end up being but apparently it's all going to work out just fine. 🤷‍♀️

I'd been separated 17 years before I got divorced so it wouldn't bother me as long as they'd been separated for a while

Depending on what I was looking for, I might have a few casual dates with someone long separated, but no way would I be living with a married man or getting into a relationship I hoped would become serious.

I did. Been together 13 years now.

But he married young, very short marriage and they were well separated when we met. As in, she'd moved to the states and he was here.

It took a while for the divorce to come through because of that, but they both wanted it and were both pushing for it.

Wouldn't do it again.

Yes but only if the wife knew about me

Perspective from a straight male. LTR for 40 yrs but not married.

I'd put a potential date and the legal status of their previous marriages in two compartments. As long as she's properly single - away for emotional involvement with the ex - I'd happily date.

All sorts of reasons why divorce doesn't happen; not least the messiness of UK law etc. I meet a lot of folks professionally who say they want to be divorced but can't afford it.

No, never.

Think it would depend on a few factors. When I first slit with my DH, I dated a guy who was also recently separated and it was far too soon for us both and got quite messy and emotionally complicated.

Been single for a while now and I’m wary of men recently separated as it feels like a rebound to me - having been there myself.

I recently went on a date with a man who told me his 30 year marriage had ended 4 months ago and he was ready to move on. Maybe it’s me judging but it felt far too quick and wasn’t a situation I wanted to get involved with.

I wouldn’t. I would want to be able to be together properly and that includes being able to share finances and you just cannot do that safely if someone is still married. If they had started the divorce process I’d consider dating them but would only get serious once divorced.

I got divorced quickly, in just less than 5 months. I’m 14 months post divorce, 18 months post separation and not at all ready to date. I was married for 14 years and I have 3 children.

At some point I will date. Right now I’m thinking of the type of man I’d like for my next relationship/marriage. I met a great guy but it didn’t work out because I wasn’t ready. He was 2 years post divorce.

I would never date someone separated. They can get divorced first.