Cocaine use

And what did they do exactly?

@Superpinkflowerpower
Bet the police loved you for totally wasting their time! You sound a nightmare 😳
Also, where exactly would you expect your child to go once their 'bag was packed'?
On the streets? Or would you expect them to magically find accommodation. I hope you don't have children, you sound incredibly unsupportive and not suited to parenting at all!

Not what the police said to me, so your conjecture is all fluff bye bye.

The police would not be interested, unless it was an amount that suggested it was for something beyond personal use.

They simply don't have the time/resources and have waaaaay bigger issues to deal with!

All that story tells me is that you wasted valuable police time over a smell.

Yes it may be but as a mature student, the iodic guy in the next room to me was always on coke in the student halls, until I phoned the police and they came paid him a visit on campus. You do sound like a avid of defender of drugs.

Typical response I would expect, so the fact I called the police because I was sick of the smell of weed from my neighbour and they came round for a class "B" drug tells me other wise.

Please do bore off.

The police will not want to know btw, unless she's going to tell them the names of her dealers anyway. They don't have the resources anymore.

Cocain and other drugs are actually incredibly common particularly in universities.

I think being totally anti drugs and zero tolerance isn’t going to work, I’ve always believed education is the best way to handle these sort of things because regardless of what people say so many people dabble in drugs - you would be amazed - it’s inevitable she was going to cross paths with drugs at uni.
My only stipulation would be if she can afford drugs she can afford to pay towards living costs and make sure she understands the risks.

For a start she should be paying rent and being taught basic life economics. Christ, my mother took £15 from my £25 a week pay at 16yrs old 30 odd years ago and harsh as it may sound it stood me in good stead in understanding the value of money and how to budget and save.

As for the cocaine, the pp who said they'd have her bags packed has to be the worst reaction going

It probably isn't a big deal to them but she'll find it a lot less appealing when she hasn't got the entirety of her earned disposable income to splurge on such expensive recreational activities.

This is coming from someone who knows all too well btw.

Please don't call the police on your own child. I can't believe you even considered it.

She's obviously not an addict or that bag would have been empty.

IKR! So embarrassing the irrational froth people get themselves into.

All you’d get is OP’s DD at most being arrested and interviewed, which is pointless and unpleasant and I’d never ever have forgiven my mum if she’d done that to me (my mum would never!)

FGS OP why would you even entertain the idea of calling the police on your child?!

I know lots of older people (as in older than your DD) who do cocaine but I thought it would be too expensive for students! I’d say no drugs in the house and you pay me keep - if you can afford cocaine you can afford to contribute to the running of the house where you live.

It's a hard one. I am 32 and by 25 I'd known 3 friends/acquaintances die as a result of cocaine. On the other hand I also know loads of people who used it regular and are very much alive, my partner being one of them...its not something I will tolerate and made it clear before our relationship began, and my kids will be told the same when they are older. If my partner touched it again he'd be out, genuinely not sure how I'd manage it if it was my kids though so I really don't have any advice. It's a huge fear of mine when it comes to my kids though. Although they make good decisions now I have no idea if that will continue as they grow and it only takes one dodgy batch to lead to a fatality

Im more shocked she doesn't do her own washing

no i wouldnt call the police or otherwise ruin my daughters future by kicking her out and forcing her to drop out of uni, when she’s doing well at uni, has a job and seems to be doing fine.

i would expect that no drugs come into my home though. And I’d consider she needs less financial support than she’s currently getting, if she can afford cocaine, which is expensive.
I suppose though rather than prioritising punishing her I’d want to check she was ok. Is it Occasional drug use, or addiction. Mental health problems she’s looking to escape by using drugs, or just a party drug the same as drinking alcohol on a night out. Id just make sure lines of communication are open and try to have a good relationship with her.

Sorry but your daughter sounds like a spoilt naive idiot.
cocaine is no joke and it’s not normal. She needs a serious reality check.

Keep your lines of communication open but be very clear about the effects/risks of even occasional use. I speak as someone who lost a 30 year old relative to heart disease caused by cocaine use. A previous partner of mine also struggled, going from recreational to habitual use. Whilst they held down their job, it caused havoc in their personal life and they damaged many relationships.
If she’s got enough money to pay for coke, I wouldn’t feel bad about reducing your financial support of her.

I would not choose either of the options you suggested. You have no idea of the actual scale of drug use from one bag of white powder. It's absolutely fine to have a no drugs in the house rule, but as she is an adult you have no control over what she does outside of the house, and she will resent you trying. In my experience, what works best are a series of calm conversations about the risks involved, so you can assess her understanding of the impact of drug use on her health and safety. Then you can support her to further reduce any risk.

YABU based solely on the fact you'd even contemplate calling the police on your own child. Tbh parents like that disgust me.

I honestly think the harsher you are the more you will drive a wedge.
I imagine some posters on her are quite a bit older and that’s going to skew their experience imo.
When I was a university it was easily 50% of people who recreationally used a bit of coke.
It doesn’t make her a drug addict, it doesn’t mean she needs to “seek help”. Maintain open, honest and non judgemental lines of communication and guide her through quite a tough time in life rather than jumping to the nuclear option and kicking her out.

And I'm sure you already have but get yourself up to date on what she might be taking cocaine but it could also be Ket.

Literally the police would have zero interest in a tiny amount of cocaine for personal use 🙄

And the Parents of Adult Children Section is pretty good at this type of support OP