Cocaine use

She might want a medication review of the ones she has tried aren't suiting her.

If she's having such extreme reactions (understandable if she's self medicating and not doing any self-regulation techniques) do you think there's a chance that she has rejection sensitive dismorphia?

I worked with teenagers who took drugs. Don’t call the police. Give her information about the risk to health. Request that she does not bring any drugs into your house. Start charging her rent and make her pay for her own food and make her do her own laundry, cooking and stuff. If she has got enough money to buy drugs she can support herself financially. If she’s got her life so sorted she can take drugs she can look after herself. Make it clear even though she thinks it’s no big deal you do and even though you can’t stop her you can stop facilitating her drug habit by not giving her financial or time support. You don’t want your money and time enabling her to take drugs it’s up to her how she manages her own money and time. Most teenagers grow out of it. Cocaine is everywhere now. It’s hard to avoid.

If you call the police, chuck her out , take away her car and uni support, you can be 100% she will never have any coke at your house ever again because she will never go to your house ever again or see you or talk to you ever again

I Musée the bit where she has ADHD and won't take medication.

Has she got DSA in place?

How many medications has she tried? If it's only one, would she be willing to try another?

I've found that my teens with ADHD are more open if we're on neural ground or if a much lived member of the family talks to them.

It sounds as if she's self medicating right now. Has she been given other ways to try and self regulate?

It's a pretty logical conclusion to assume that someone who has no experience of university within the last 10 years is older.
Logical assumptions aren't ageism.

I think the poster was assuming that all the posters who were outraged were older but perhaps I've read it wrong and she was simply referring to people who are genuinely older and haven't been to Uni on the last 15 years plus.

The police don't have the resource to deal with this. If it's cocaine she's got too much money, so cut back on your contribution.

Put a halt on her use of the car, she will have to get the bus or spend her money on a cab if there's any risk she's driving whilst high.

Pursue the ADHD treatment, links have been shown between ADHD and stimulant use as self medication.

If anything your latest update makes me even more nervous for her.

The young woman I knew who had issues was about 18/19 and did work in a beauty salon but had been spoiled by her parents as a younger child with a much older sister. Her parents basically bought her whatever she wanted and she stayed out all night and lived at home. Luckily when she had therapy for her addiction she calmed down and retrained to be a dental nurse. Her parents then divorced and she got a flat with her dad until she met someone and had a child but she always felt she did the latter to escape her dad to expected her to be like her mum re looking after him!

She did get a mortgage and broke up with the father of the dad and in her 30s met and married a man in Canada and moved there and had 2 further children with him.

I’d encourage her to take her ADHD medication. A friend of mine who has a daughter a similar age to yours has ADHD and has completed uni (college in USA) and has a job and got a permanent one too before being made redundant.

It's a pretty logical conclusion to assume that someone who has no experience of university within the last 10 years is older.
Logical assumptions aren't ageism.

If someone had a more recent experience with uni, either directly or through peers then they would surely acknowledge that if almost 60% of students had used drugs then actually it isn't so "not common" or "not normal".

She has struggled over the last few years and I worry about her physical and mental health.

Regular cocaine use is damaging to a healthy person's mental health. It can be soul destroying for someone who already has issues. I would really encourage her to speak to a professional.

A charge or caution for that will ruin her employment chances. You're creating more of a burden for yourself.

If parents are still giving children who've moved out expenses it kind of sends a message they're not an adult.

I got nothing in uni, I had to work. I spent my money on rent, not cocaine.

Its hardly agism to point out that the people who claim coke or MD aren't commonplace with young people quite clearly haven't stepped into a uni in the last 10/15 years.
The facts are there, in 2018 almost 60% of students had taken drugs.
Sounds pretty commonplace to me

It is if you don't know my age or the age of the other posters and you're assuming that all of the ones being outraged are older.

Funny how a 'particular' type of poster always runs away the minute their bullshit is challenged.

They always exit with a passive aggressive 'have a nice day' or 'bye bye love' too

"Keyboard Warriors" is so bloody unoriginal and tiresome too.

Its hardly agism to point out that the people who claim coke or MD aren't commonplace with young people quite clearly haven't stepped into a uni in the last 10/15 years.
The facts are there, in 2018 almost 60% of students had taken drugs.
Sounds pretty commonplace to me.

@otherwayup @Peacoffee Sorry I'm not wasting my my time with the two keyboard warriors on MN. I don't fall for the baiting, have a good day.



Your YABU/YANBU options are both badly chosen.

You're right it's not normal for people to take cocaine. In any age group most people don't take it and most people never take it, not even once.

I don't think kicking her out and taking those other actions is the correct thing to do either. I don't see how she's "disrespecting" you and even if she was your suggested punishments would be way over the top. To be frank, if you took this course of action her "ability to make you feel like a shit parent" wouldn't be much of an ability at all, there would be no need to make you feel like a shit parent because that would imply you weren't one, which you would be if you did this, in my view anyway.

What do you want? If you want her out of your life, kick her out and call the police. If you don't want her out of your life you need to work with her rather than seeing her as a problem. To be fair to you class A drug abuse is as good a reason as any to boot her out, just be aware of the likely consequences.

I'm sure some people can treat it like alcohol and "take it or leave it" but I am related to someone whose whole life (and to an extent another person in my family) has been completely ruined by this shit.

I would go totally hard line on this. You just don't know whether you can "handle it" until it's all gone wrong and then it's too late.

I'd be saying, my house, my rules. Anything kept on the premises will be flushed and you won't be giving her any more money for the forseeable.

Ageism is alive and thriving on MN still.

You seem to spend a lot of time calling the police on people...

Too!

@Peacoffee I'd be interested to know this to 😂