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Original poster

Husband and nighttime noises.

41 replies

TheBlinkOfAnEye · 12/07/2023 23:24

My husband starts making noises in his sleep from about 5am, give or take half an hour. I can't deal with this any longer. Usually we turn out the light about 11pm after watching TV together. Would it be unreasonable if I started going to sleep at 9pm so I can just get up at 5am when he starts keeping me awake anyway? This might disturb him a bit but he can go back to sleep. I don't have young kids so can set my sleep schedule how I want. He told me this morning he can't do anything to stop it so it's down to me to come up with a solution to myself. I can't wear earplugs. He had a sleep study done several years ago and came back clear.

OP posts:
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ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 17/09/2023 13:55

Sleep is a serious health matter and far more important than a pool table.

Yesitsmeloveorhate · 16/09/2023 18:19

Ate we married to the same man 😀 honestly I love my sleep and my husband is a nightmare! Does yours sleepwalk by any chance too? Mines done some amazing cooking in his sleep ans once pour coffee and cooking oil all.ovwr the kitchen

bookworm44 · 16/09/2023 18:13

TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 00:03

I think he does care. He went and had a sleep study done. He's tried snoring clips for his nose. He's just not sure what he can do about the mouth noises.

I've priced a single bed so will discuss it with him. Not cheap. I've tried to keep that space free for his table but some needs might be more pressing.

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My daughter just bought a single bed, mattress & topper from facebook marketplace - excellent quality & only £40! You don't have to pay a lot.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/09/2023 17:27

GardeningIdiot · 13/07/2023 00:01

But he's the one with the problem. You're just suffering the consequences.

He doesn't sound very caring, OP.

This. Let hm sleep in the spare room.

mathanxiety · 16/09/2023 15:52

TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 00:15

If I have ear plugs I won't be able to hear the kids or dogs in the night, if they need me. DH will sleep through their noise in the night.

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You will hear kids even with earplugs, and dogs too.

Give them a try.

How lovely for your H thst he gets to sleep through all the nighttime disturbance you have e been dealing with over the years. Are you aware thstt his is a habit, not an innate trait? He sleeps through because he has never had to wake and deal with kids or dogs.

KirstenBlest · 16/09/2023 15:45

Sounds like Sleep Apnoea. He needs to go to the GP.

LaBelleSauvage123 · 16/09/2023 15:44

DH does the popping thing! I thought it was only him. It's like Chinese water torture.

Cheeesus · 16/09/2023 15:42

If you are a light enough sleeper to be bothered by him, then you’ll probably hear a dog through earplugs.
Tell the children to get out of bed and get you, or get a baby monitor if they are young and scared to. I am not sure how old they are.

MyGirlDaisy · 16/09/2023 15:37

My DH makes irritating sleep noises too. I do reckon it’s an age thing - mostly I ask him to be quiet, if this doesn’t work I kick him, but then I am awake for age’s it’s so annoying. I do sometimes say to him that I might put the pillow over his face (lightheaded I promise)!

Toastnotboast · 16/09/2023 15:34

That sounds like sleep apnoea, which can be quite serious.

ohdamnitjanet · 16/09/2023 15:31

So you get the pleasure of a shit single bed squashed into an office, along with the pleasure of having to be aware of children and dogs possibly needing attention, while he sleeps the sleep of the dead and wakes you up at the crack of dawn? It’s his office, he can sleep on his pool table.

Original poster
TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 09:36

Mistressofnone · 13/07/2023 09:35

@Robyn847 that's actually hilarious!

OP is there such thing as a bed that converts into a pool table? 😄

LOL. That would be amazing!

OP posts:
Mistressofnone · 13/07/2023 09:35

@Robyn847 that's actually hilarious!

OP is there such thing as a bed that converts into a pool table? 😄

Original poster
TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 09:29

Robyn847 · 13/07/2023 05:10

What about those sticky crosses to prevent dry mouth and snoring? They're to literally tape the mouth shut. Would they work? Not necessarily to use permanently, but to 'train' him to not pop/blow/snore.

That might be a good idea. I'm going to talk to him about it in the next few hours. These might be a good place to start. I'm going to tell him something needs to happen or it's going to have to be separate rooms. I know lots of couples do do it for sleep reasons. I'll give him a chance to respond positively. He was tired this morning so might not have been in much of a place to think about it.

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Sexisthairdressers · 13/07/2023 05:11

You could try and get a bed on Freecycle or free on Facebook marketplace.

Robyn847 · 13/07/2023 05:10

What about those sticky crosses to prevent dry mouth and snoring? They're to literally tape the mouth shut. Would they work? Not necessarily to use permanently, but to 'train' him to not pop/blow/snore.

Robyn847 · 13/07/2023 05:07

miniegg3 · 13/07/2023 00:25

Omg dh does the popping noise and its so Infuriating when trying to sleep 😴 we sleep separately now, so much better all round!

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Urghhh I feel your pain. OH does a tiny pop on breathing out, but it somehow sounds JUST like a drip of water. The first time he started doing it I actually got up into the attic just gone midnight because I assumed the historical leaky roof had returned. Couldn't figure out how I couldn't hear the dripping once I was up in the roof space. Came down, he woke up with me clanging the ladder about so no pop/drip. Just got comfy back in bed and dripping started again. Back into attic with torch. This went on for about 3 hours before I realised it was him and his bizarre popping snore thing. Grrrr!! 😡

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 13/07/2023 01:01

He says oh, boo hoo, he doesn't know how to stop it!

That is infuriating. If he can't stop it, he needs to sort himself another sleeping arrangement. Not just shrug and let you bear the brunt.

FunMum2019 · 13/07/2023 00:41

Omg, my husband does this when he wakes up and it’s infuriating. Like he’s holding his breath then popping it out, but he’s awake when he does it. Between that and the insane snoring I’m pushing for separate rooms, if not houses.

LordSalem · 13/07/2023 00:38

How old are the kids?

Original poster
TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 00:26

I cannot tell you how much better I feel hearing that other husband's do this too (though sorry they do!). I just wanted to cry this morning. I just said we had to do something about it and he said he didn't know how to stop it. I didn't want to push too hard though because I don't think he slept well himself last night. Looks like the separate sleeping arrangements is the most common solution.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 00:25

ElizaWinter · 13/07/2023 00:20

It's an age thing. DH has taken to puffing and blowing, when he's not busy snoring! Confused
I go next door.

Could be! He's well into middle age now. He's very fit though.

OP posts:
miniegg3 · 13/07/2023 00:25

TheBlinkOfAnEye · 12/07/2023 23:42

He sometimes snores, but lately it's been a very loud blowing air with a loud popping sound from his lips. I start to drift off and every breath jolts me out of it. We have a spare room but it's my husband's office. I could put a bed in there but I'd have to buy one. He wants to put a small pool table in there at some stage, but he couldn't do that if I put a bed in there. It's big enough for a bed and his desk, but nothing else. I don't really want to leave my room but I guess if I'm the one with the problem, I might have to get used to the idea.

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Omg dh does the popping noise and its so Infuriating when trying to sleep 😴 we sleep separately now, so much better all round!

ElizaWinter · 13/07/2023 00:20

It's an age thing. DH has taken to puffing and blowing, when he's not busy snoring! Confused
I go next door.

GardeningIdiot · 13/07/2023 00:19

TheBlinkOfAnEye · 13/07/2023 00:13

I don't want to punish him for something he can't help though. He could try a mouth guard, but then maybe he'll snore instead. Maybe if I ask him to sleep in his office a solution will be found. I am sure he would accept that. Separate rooms is probably better for my marriage than adjusting my sleep schedule so we don't spend much evening time together.

"Punish"? Where did that come from? It's about finding solutions.