Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the wrong?

56 replies

TaylorTickets · 12/07/2023 18:36

Friend and I can’t agree so we’ve agreed I’ll put on here objectively and see what the majority say. names changed obviously although it’s pretty obvious if you know us!

anna and Beth have been friends 20+ years and both have primary aged children. Beth is also friends with Cath. Cath’s daughter is due to get married next year. Cath has invited Anna and Beth’s children to come along the morning of the wedding to watch the bride get her makeup and hair done and put on her dress. Beth is invited to the wedding. Her children, Anna and Anna’s children aren't. Beth and Cath think this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, Cath and her daughter aren’t anxious/stressed people and Beth thinks it’ll be fun for the children to watch. Anna thinks even non-anxious people will be stressed on their wedding day and having four young children running around won’t be a good idea. Who is being unreasonable?

YABU- Anna is wrong, it’ll be fun for the children and they’ve been invited by Cath so it’s fine
YANBU- Beth is wrong, no one wants random kids running around when they’re getting ready to get married, stay away

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Catspyjamas17 · 13/07/2023 10:53

Sounds ridiculous to me. If I were Anna I'd just leave my kids with someone and crack on.

Minikievs · 13/07/2023 10:43

I kind of understand taking them to see her leaving the house in her dress, getting in the car etc
I'm in my 40s and still get excited seeing a bride leaving for her wedding! I can imagine my primary aged daughter would like to see the dress etc. But be there while she's getting ready?!?

Bonkers. No.

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 10:39

Thinking about it, it's quite a brave move. Kids don't have filters, giving them a chance to comment on the make-up and the dress could be very entertaining. Even if not very flattering 😂

HN3452 · 13/07/2023 10:38

😂"Come along to a fun morning kids - seeing a woman put her make up and a white dress on!"

"Oh - are we going to the wedding mum?!
"No".

I can imagine the levels of excitement going through the roof for the kids.

Cath is a nut.

5foot5 · 13/07/2023 10:37

TaylorTickets · 12/07/2023 21:15

Thanks everyone. I’m Anne in this situation and thought it was odd but I’ve never been married so wasn’t sure if I was overreacting. Very happy to not take my kids. Hadn’t even thought she might be using it as a way to get me to take her kids

If Beth's kids are not going to the wedding who is looking after them? Bet she is hoping for you to step up.

Ohitshappening · 13/07/2023 10:31

Why would anyone invite kids to the getting ready part if they're not invited to any other part?!
I wouldn't want to take my kid to watch someone getting ready, not only would it only interest them for less than 5 minutes, it would be bloody boring for me!
The likelihood is the kids will end up running around playing together paying no attention to the 'bride getting ready' and just potentially be an annoyance rather than a delightful audience Cath seems to think they would be.

Shelby2010 · 13/07/2023 10:31

I would quickly invent a trip to relatives or something, that means you can’t take Beth’s kids all day & possibly over night.

MoveOnTheCards · 13/07/2023 10:19

You are 100% intended to take all of the kids @TaylorTickets.

CasperGutman · 12/07/2023 22:42

Sounds crap for the kids. They'll either be bored witless at the whole pointless exercise, or get really hyped up about the whole wedding thing and be gutted they haven't been invited.

I mean, "Hey kids, this wedding is so important and exciting that just watching someone get ready for it is a treat. What? No, you're not going. Why would we invite you?"

LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/07/2023 22:16

TwinsPlusAnotherOne · 12/07/2023 18:49

Cath is fucking odd!

She's invited 4 primary school children to watch her daughter get her wedding hair done, and then go home.

Wtf? Who even thought this up?

This ^^

Why on earth would she think kids would be interested in watching someone get ready. Reminds me of the bloody Hindu ceremonys my mum took us to sometimes, hours of waiting and watching someone have a bath and get ready, we were bored shitless but at least we got to party after, these kids are being packed off home before any fun starts!

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/07/2023 22:11

Beth’s basically trying to get you to look after her kids op….

Original poster
TaylorTickets · 12/07/2023 21:15

Thanks everyone. I’m Anne in this situation and thought it was odd but I’ve never been married so wasn’t sure if I was overreacting. Very happy to not take my kids. Hadn’t even thought she might be using it as a way to get me to take her kids

OP posts:
Watchthedoormat · 12/07/2023 21:04

How odd.
They're not even invited to the wedding.

BellaJuno · 12/07/2023 21:01

Why would anyone want to watch someone get their hair and makeup done, never mind the fact the kids presumably don’t even know the bride? 🤣 Cath is crazy, sounds like she’s assumed everyone cares about her daughters wedding preparations as much as she does.

EvilElsa · 12/07/2023 21:00

I can't imagine any kid being remotely interested in watching a random lady getting her hair and make up done. Mind numbingly dull.

Verystressedsenmum · 12/07/2023 20:58

sorry should say watch someone getting ready for a wedding .

Verystressedsenmum · 12/07/2023 20:57

I agree with others why would kids want to watch someone get married and then not attend the wedding there is nothing fun about that at all . I’m guessing this bride has no idea what children think is fun .

Jubaju · 12/07/2023 20:50

Batshit

minou123 · 12/07/2023 20:43

wholivesondrurylane · 12/07/2023 20:40

The only person's opinion that matters is the bride.

and the poor kids being "treated" to watch paint dry - sorry, the bride being made up for the day 😂

True 😂

wholivesondrurylane · 12/07/2023 20:40

The only person's opinion that matters is the bride.

and the poor kids being "treated" to watch paint dry - sorry, the bride being made up for the day 😂

Jonnycakes · 12/07/2023 20:38

In my opinion it’s a crazy idea! Assuming the bride also has bridesmaids getting ready, potentially that’s 4 other bodies in the house! As well as mother of the bride and mother of the groom? Children really won’t be excited at seeing a random woman putting on make up and having her hair done. Perhaps they could go and wave her off from the house when she’s fully made up and in her dress? That seems to me to be the part where small children might like to see.

minou123 · 12/07/2023 20:34

Luxell934 · 12/07/2023 18:46

Surely Cath shouldn't be speaking for her daughter. The bride should decide.

Unless their house is huge lots of people will just get in the way, children might be bored.

Maybe the children could stand outside and wave her off into the car if the children really want to see the bride on her wedding day?

This is exactly what I was going to say.

It's not up to Anne, Beth or even Cath. The only person's opinion that matters is the bride.

Anyway, my personal opinion, is wedding prep is no place for other people's children.
I can understand if the children are related to the bride or are bridesmaids, as they can all get ready together.
But others people children, who are there purely to watch is a bit weird.

Fromage · 12/07/2023 20:32

It's up to the bride to decide who's invited over to gawp at her.

When I was a primary school aged child I would have been pissed off at this bullshit way of wasting a Saturday morning.

DappledThings · 12/07/2023 20:25

It doesn't sound stressful. Not everyone finds the morning of theor wedding stressful, I didn't and some extra kids around wouldn't have bothered me. I would just be a bit baffled by why they were there. I can imagine DD being interested for about 5 minutes seeing the dress but that's it

Rainbowshit · 12/07/2023 20:21

Crazy idea.