I hate the cat

Haha! Cats always go for the person who loves them the least!

We had a cat as teenagers, this massive ginger tom named Rocky. Me, my sister and my dad were all obsessed with Rocky. Mum could take or leave him. Who did Rocky love the most? Mum. By a landslide.

I love Socrates

Don't have the answer but you're getting some weird OTT comments here. Why would you want to be followed around all day and disturbed every night?! I wouldn't like it from my children, and I made them!

I also think it's impossible to have foreseen that he'd be that needy, cats aren't exactly known for it. Albeit is it a ragdoll? Even I know those are a clingy breed! Maybe DD can cancel uni..?!

There are a few batshit crazy responses on here!!

I totally get you. We have a cat who has just turned 19. His chosen person is me and over the last few years has become very clingy. If I sit down he is immediately there, waiting to sit on my lap. If I am on my phone or iPad, he rests a paw on me and then does this hilarious, very slow creep - sometime successful, sometimes not - to get on my lap somehow. When awake, he yowls A LOT which is blood curdling at times and could wake the dead. He is very bossy, likes certain rooms open to sit in at different times of the day (follows the sun!) and will meow constantly at a door until you open it. He changes his mind all the frigging time so you are up down like a yo-yo. He sleeps until he kitchen with the door shut as I couldn't put up with the pacing, howling and him sitting on my chest all night. He also has a bit of a 'piss in the corner' problem.

It's sometimes lovely, but often a complete and utter PITA and makes me feel guilty that I can't sit 24/7 and be at his beck and call. Doesn't not mean I love him any less though and I will be very very sad when he goes to cat heaven, (although I'm constantly try amazed he is still with us and still quite active!)

A couple of suggestions up thread are good to try and share the affection amongst the rest of you. But ultimately, he has chosen you. Welcome to the club!

Get DD to try again - meant to say DD2

Cat is missing DD. You are the next best thing.
Cats are often more affectionate and needy than we expect them to be - Socrates is probably worse at the moment because he doesn't understand why his primary source of love and comfort is missing and is feeling anxious and seeking reassurance.
Having had a dog I didn't want for 6 years because I said I would - I have some sympathy! But because I prefer cats to dogs I would prefer to have Socrates than my poor old dog! (Sadly dog is no more and I did grow to love her really).
In terms of actually helping you and Socrates though, I would suggest a few things.
Next time DD is home get her to wear an old t-shirt then when she leaves put the worn (unwashed) t-shirt in Socrates bed.
Get DD to try again - play only with wand toys or similar so there's no scratching. Offer treats etc. Cats are good at forgiveness if you offer the right behaviour towards them.
Presumably you have to brush him? If he likes it, another good way to bond and stimulate him/reassure him - definitely a DH job.
Give everyone a bit of a job to do that also offers the cat some kindness and contact and he will settle down a bit. But his breed suggests he will always be happier around people.

Cat

Beautiful car

Is he a ragdoll? If so, he's bred to be clingy

I was gonna ask this too! I have two ragdolls and they're both very clingy. Every second they're awake they want attention, and fortunately I love giving them attention, but obviously it can get a bit impractical when I've things to do.

I also agree with the advice of giving him more attention. Sounds like he could be feeling a bit ignored which will only make him more needy. Ultimately you do just have to accept being the chosen one.

He's gorgeous btw!

The literal posters going “omg pooooor baaaaaby you’re sooooo cruuuuuueeeel” are pissing me off. Seriously, the reading level on this forum is about 8yo.

YANBU. I’d be annoyed too to constantly be expected to constantly do emotional labour while every other human in the house pisses about.

I don’t know if the suggestion for DD2 to hand out treats is likely to work but it’s the only sensible one so far so go for it.

Also DH and DD2 need to up their game. The cat being lonely (WTF) cannot be your problem only. Seriously, are even cats sexist now…

Having the cat also gives your dd an 'excuse' to call you lots, so it may not be all bad.

I think the advice to get your dd2 to feed him etc is very good - everyone is fussing about the cat but it's not nice for your actual child to be scratched all the time and to feel like the cat hates her.

Ours used to do this to dd - I think she thought that dd was a kitten and lower down than her on the pecking order and I think she tried to play with her, the way she would another cat, so biting and chasing. Our fix was to get another cat, but I don't think you want that, so try getting dd to take over more of the treats, feeding, playing.

I do think you should also show the cat love because it's probably upset that dd1 isn't there and needs reassurance.

Do not get another cat, mine hate each other!

Ds1 has just got back from his first year at uni. The cat is no longer interested in him. He likes the other dc but has decided that the only place to sleep at night is on a pillow close enough that he can pur in mu ear and have a paw on my head

He loves you. Best surrender.

He’s gorgeous!!!!

I love cats so much!

My mum has 5 cats and when I phone her one of my first questions is, “How are the cats?” 😂

Dont fight against the love OP. It will be completely futile!

You are the chosen one.

Awww, Socrates wants some loving!! I’m a big cat fan and we are obsessed by our cat who DD misses more than us when at uni 😆 eve DS said the cat was his favourite family member. Prob cos she’s not annoying and doesn’t nag him!!
Seriously though, he looks like a lovely animal, cats are pretty easy to care for really so I’d embrace the love and you might get some joy out of it.

I have a love/hate relationship with our cat, so I understand how you feel.

My DD is responsible for ours and when she moves out, the cat goes with her.

Agreed, he's a gorgeous cat!

I would also say if you have a cat that will paw you, wake you up or otherwise be a bother at night, don't feel bad about shutting them downstairs and putting your earplugs in. If you have a good night's sleep you will feel much better disposed towards the cat, if you are getting broken sleep you won't.

I think you actually really like the cat.

You are both missing DD. Just give in and love the cat back - you will both feel a lot better for it.

Or send him to me, he is gorgeous 😍

Is he a ragdoll? If so, he's bred to be clingy and unfortunately, you are The Chosen One. I sympathise a lot, I have a clingy cat and when I'm tired and exhausted and the cat is following me everywhere, to the loo, to the kitchen, on top of my computer when I'm trying to work, plus 'chatting' (meowing endlessly very loudly) it can seem too much. When I was having MH difficulties, the cat seemed like another burden, something else that needed more than I could give. I think those with independent cats, who go outside (is it an indoor cat?) who disappear off for hours might not know what this type of cat is like!

My suggestion is counter-intuitive- give the cat more attention, pick it up, give it a cuddle when it is demanding attention Get a couple of cat toys (wand thing, springs) and get some of their energy out that way as well. It's better to pay the cat attention when you want, and satisfy that, than to try to avoid it. Then the cat feels reassured and will probably sleep.

Cats can be overly clingy depending on their breed, and it would be tiring to be the one to be left with that when you aren't the one that wanted the cat. This is the reason I don't have a dog!

Well 'his person' is going to uni so the OP is stuck with him.
The advice for DD2 to feed him treats etc seems the way to go.
The only saving grace is that DH deals with the poo tray.