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AIBU?

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Original poster

I hate the cat

259 replies

WarriorWalrus · 10/07/2023 01:13

DD1, 17, got a cat for her 15th birthday, she had been begging for years and loves the cat to pieces, it was a joint bid for the cat, DD1 promising all the care until she left for uni, DD2, (now 14) promising to take over and DH saying he would do care when they aren't around.
Well DD1 just finished her a-levels, left to go travelling with her friends, not back until mid-August (she turns 18 at the start of August). DD2 hates the cat (the cat also hates her, I'm not sure why they have beef but its a no go, the cat just scratches DD2), DH feeds him and changes the litterbox but the cat seems to have decided in the absence of DD1, he wants me, we might have the only clingy cat in the world, but he waits for me to get home, follows me for a bit the goes to lay in DD1s room. Can't say DD1s name in earshot or the cat comes running and follows me again. Middle of the night he scratches my door to be let in, then sleeps in-between DH and I, he loves it, I hate it!!
7 days into DD1 being gone, I've heard from her 4 times, each time "How's Socrates (the cat), Can I see Socrates, show Socrates this video so he doesn't forget me", I send a response (pic of the cat usually) she reacts to it, I ask how she is and get left on read?? Like she only misses and cares for the cat!!!
And to think she is off to uni halls in sept, so this is just my life now!!
AIBU to hate the cat, do any cat whisperers have tips on how I can get the cat to give his love to DH or DD2 and leave me alone???

OP posts:
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TinyTeacher · 11/07/2023 20:35

I dont think this will go down at all well on here..... but I really don't like our cat either!

It's tricky when you end up looking after an animal you don't want. Its not their fault, but it's still a pain.

I've NEVER liked cats. I'm slightly allergic to them and my mum (who helps with childcare on a regular basis) is much more allergic. My DH knows this. He still adopted a stray cat, which has now been ours for 9 years. My asthma and eczema have been worse over this time and I regularly have to take a higher dose of steroids than I used to need to keep them under control. My mother suffers badly when she is here. I think one of our DC may also be allergic (hard to pin down what his trigger is as he's just a toddler).

If you're a cat lover, fine. But not everybody is, and if you're not it's frustrating to have an animal live in your house and act like it owns it (which cats do) and demand food/attention, sometimes at 4am.

OP, you didn't want a cat. Hopefully your eldest will be able to take it to Uni!

OhcantthInkofaname · 11/07/2023 20:27

WarriorWalrus · 10/07/2023 01:44

Sure, This is him. Bain of my existence right now.
In all seriousness though, I don't hate him. Just wish he had selected someone else to be the centre of his world while DD is gone.
Also don't resent DD for asking about her cat, was making a joke out of how she is missing the cat but no one else!

Show quote history

He is beautiful! Get him a kitten. He will then be annoyed by and have to train his kitten.

onelostsoulswimminginafishbowl · 11/07/2023 20:12

Cat threads always seem to bring out the crazies on here 😂

August1980 · 11/07/2023 20:10

OP, this is sweet. The adoration of a pet… we have dog, I am the one that loves it most, make all the sacrifices, leave work early for vet appointments or when dog walker cancels, I go out of my way to cook up something nice for her( along with her kibble) sit up with her on nights when she unwell, dog walking, poo picking, vomit cleaning, oh and I get baited into that annoying game of let me out, no let me in, no let me out - All evening! But my husband is person, and I her slave. From were I am sitting, you are the chosen one! Enjoy it 😀

Poodles23 · 11/07/2023 19:57

He’s a beautiful cat, you’re very lucky to have him 👍😸

Lovely13 · 11/07/2023 19:51

Cats are weird. Just accept it. They do what they want. You will grudgingly learn to love her 🐈

Grumpybeforemytime · 11/07/2023 19:47

He is such a beautiful cat. Try to show him some affection back

WildUnchartedWaters · 11/07/2023 19:39

Oh good response ahout the projected emotions.
On another note Socrates is a fab name

DerekFaker · 11/07/2023 19:37

OP in 2 week's time.

I hate the cat
evian76 · 11/07/2023 19:34

its because you are DD’s mother and the cat knows that by your scent, so you are the default cat mother when DD is not there. I hope you can grow to love the cat. If you went to a psychoanalyst they would say that if you feel that you hate the cat you most probably actually love the cat. Are you projecting your sadness that DD has flown the nest onto the cat? Cats are wonderful you are lucky to have been chosen xx

Cats Reaction GIF by TikTok MENA
xBrowneyedgirlx · 11/07/2023 19:33

Count yourself lucky the cat likes you. How anyone can hate any animal I don't know. Take a bit of time to get to know him. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Janecat23 · 11/07/2023 19:27

I love cats and I love my cat, but I get that it’s too much and sometimes cats don’t get boundaries - I would perhaps shut him in the kitchen overnight with a nice comfy cat bed - you shouldn’t have to have him in your bed. Some space at some point in the day might do your relationship wonders! He’s extremely beautiful btw.

TillieAnn1945 · 11/07/2023 19:21

Cats always seem to love the people who hate them. Try loving it.

Millieruby1 · 11/07/2023 19:20

Omg Socrates is gorgeous, he will settle once he has got used to the new situation. Has your DD2 tried tempting him with Dreamies or chicken? Cats are very fickle when it comes to food feeders. I have 20 cats so speak from experience!

Adam1630 · 11/07/2023 19:16

I feel for you, I hate our dog (not literally) but I really can’t be arsed with him. I was brought up with cats and definitely prefer them. Dogs are just dirty, smelly, teenage hooligans rampaging through the house. Unfortunately I’m on my own though, my wife and kids love him, I just get to feed him, walk him and pick up his shit….doesn’t seem like a fair deal to me

HarrietPoole · 11/07/2023 19:13

Totally understand, OP. When I met my now husband he came as a package with two children and cat. Cat only wants to sit on me or beside me. If he considers himself ignored he sits on my keyboard. If I don't stroke his ears, he bites me. If he wants out in the middle of the night it's my face he pats. The cat is an asshole.

Thehappygardener · 11/07/2023 19:08

I may have missed an answer or two, but I wonder if you remind Socrates of DD1?

And as others have said, get DD2 to feed Socrates, give him treats and put some of the Feliway cat relaxant or similar in her room?

Hope it all goes well, am sure it will. 🐈

WildUnchartedWaters · 11/07/2023 19:08

In fairness to DD1 she has stuck to her word and js making effort.
Dd2 is probably picking up on your hate.

You made a commitment, you need to stick to it ans try.

With all that said, I'm not a cat fan.

Grrrrdarling · 11/07/2023 19:03

WarriorWalrus · 10/07/2023 01:13

DD1, 17, got a cat for her 15th birthday, she had been begging for years and loves the cat to pieces, it was a joint bid for the cat, DD1 promising all the care until she left for uni, DD2, (now 14) promising to take over and DH saying he would do care when they aren't around.
Well DD1 just finished her a-levels, left to go travelling with her friends, not back until mid-August (she turns 18 at the start of August). DD2 hates the cat (the cat also hates her, I'm not sure why they have beef but its a no go, the cat just scratches DD2), DH feeds him and changes the litterbox but the cat seems to have decided in the absence of DD1, he wants me, we might have the only clingy cat in the world, but he waits for me to get home, follows me for a bit the goes to lay in DD1s room. Can't say DD1s name in earshot or the cat comes running and follows me again. Middle of the night he scratches my door to be let in, then sleeps in-between DH and I, he loves it, I hate it!!
7 days into DD1 being gone, I've heard from her 4 times, each time "How's Socrates (the cat), Can I see Socrates, show Socrates this video so he doesn't forget me", I send a response (pic of the cat usually) she reacts to it, I ask how she is and get left on read?? Like she only misses and cares for the cat!!!
And to think she is off to uni halls in sept, so this is just my life now!!
AIBU to hate the cat, do any cat whisperers have tips on how I can get the cat to give his love to DH or DD2 and leave me alone???

Sounds like the cat sees you as the go to person for information so it is looking to you for answers as to where DD1 has gone.
For the sleeping situation I’d get a box, specifically tell the cat he can’t go in it & I can almost guarantee he’ll sleep in there from now on.
It has only been 7 days so just give him time to adjust to the new dynamic in the home.
Hopefully he will relax & leave you be in the next month or so but right now you are his security blanket I’m afraid 😬

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 19:00

WarriorWalrus · 10/07/2023 01:44

Sure, This is him. Bain of my existence right now.
In all seriousness though, I don't hate him. Just wish he had selected someone else to be the centre of his world while DD is gone.
Also don't resent DD for asking about her cat, was making a joke out of how she is missing the cat but no one else!

Show quote history

Oh what a lovely looking boy!

Mind you I wouldn't want him, as there would be too much grooming involved.

Maybe it's time you contacted the Cat's Protection and made moves to have him re-homed?

joycies · 11/07/2023 19:00

I bought a Siamese cat for my son when he had a bad break up, After just a month, he asked us (retired couple) to have it because he couldn't bear it's yowling and screeching when he came home from work. It came to us in a big house with a big garden and disappeared all day. It came home and screamed for fresh food every evening then sat on my husband's lap ALL evening. Then followed him to bed and got comfy on my side. My son is always asking how it is and wants pics ! I HATE IT !

Littlelovebug · 11/07/2023 18:57

Dancingonthemoonlight · 11/07/2023 18:20

I'm a massive cat lover and I genuinely believe that I have somehow managed to buy the most annoying cat in the world sometimes 😂 she's part maine coon, never shuts up (unless she's sleeping or stuffing her face), follows us EVERYWHERE to the point where she's gotten herself lost and I've had to go and find her. She seems to have some beef with my 5 year old, tolerates my teenager picking her up and essentially trapping her in his room so they can 'chill' together, she will occasionally come and sit on my bump, she might if she's feeling particularly annoying go and sit on my DP's legs and then refuse to move and she LOVES to full on lick her asshole in front of us, in fact I'm convinced she only ever does this when she has an audience, full chomping sound to go with it.
But you know what? I love her, I take care of her, I've paid over a grand in vet fees and she's only a year old, I go out looking for her when she decides to follow us and get lost, she's a great cat, just very Vocal.

It gets annoying sometimes being the 'one' that they have chosen to be their servant but I can tell you now I'd rather have her than a dog!

Absolutely love this. We should be friends. Mine is two and throughly enjoys squawking night and day, hunting flies, chasing bees, sitting under a bush in the garden and judging people.

Lindaaelizabeth · 11/07/2023 18:57

She didn’t ask to be the cats keeper, bad for daughter to get a cat knowing she would be going to uni. There is nothing wrong with not wanting an animal following you 24/7.weird to think that’s acceptable

lcl · 11/07/2023 18:56

Show the cat some love. You will be rewarded with the unconditional love of a beautiful animal. We lost our beautiful rescue cat the other week at 17 years old . What I wouldn’t do to have her back. So loving and a beautiful soul.
We all showed her love and respect and she returned it.

Littlelovebug · 11/07/2023 18:55

I also ask about the cat when I'm away over asking about my DH. Cat comes first then him. He joked and said he was allergic the other day so I told him he best look for somewhere else to live then :)