I hate the cat

Wow, you fo know this is about your relationship with your daughter and nothing to do with a cat! Cats need very little input. Why are you so grumpy about a cat following you around? Does it adversely affect your life? My husband really doesnt like cats but manages to feed my cat and deal with the litter tray in my absence. If you dont want the cat in your bedroom put her in the kitchen or utility room overnight, with a bed obvs.

When kids first leave home its the hit of freedom they enjoy, they arent keen on keeping in touch. Your daughter will later on, just enjoy the lack of laundry and cooking! Being kind and stroking a cat a few times a day isnt a big price to pay, however if the poor thing is surrounded by people that dont care for her tell your daughter to rehome it and hopefully she will find a loving home!

He is gorgeous

You can put cats off approaching you by staring at them with wide eyes.

But I'm sure you will grow to love him soon - he's gorgeous!

Stop being so childish, you just don't seem to understand that you just need to leave the poor cat out of your silly arguments about why you don't want the cat to follow you and how you feel ignored as your daughter just asks about her cat and not you. Did you ever ask yourself if you've been there for your daughter when she's needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on when she has fallen in/out of love.?
Was it you or her cat that she poured her heart out to.?
If the answer is the cat, then you're clearly jealous of the cat...just tolerate the poor animal and continue to feed and clean up after it while your daughter is away..cats don't stay where they don't feel wanted, but I think deep down you really love the cat..

Get a dog if you have the time. This capricious cat could be with you until it’s 18 along with its expensive vet bills to treat its many ailments. Once insurance has paid a claim on its health problem they then exclude it. So my thinking is have something you enjoy. No idea how it will take to the dog. I’ve always had cats but the last one, who I loved dearly died during lockdown and we are enjoying the freedom. You are not being unreasonable.

Knowing how much cats like to sleep in human occupied beds, our current one has always been shut into the dining room at night, with his food, water, catflap, blanket and igloo. What he's never had he can't miss.

Haven’t read through all the posts but if you can get DD2 and DH doing all the feeding, giving treats etc that will build up a relationship. But you are ultimately the chosen one 😻

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all! We have two cats, one was my daughters she got before getting married to her husband. Her ex-partner got the cat for her and she got him a cat. They split up and she ended up with both cats. My son has a big scruffy Tom cat with a cloudy eye ( makes him look mean) I am the only one they go to at feeding time, the lady cat is really naughty jumps through neighbours window and smashed an ornament , always jumps up in my kitchen work top and scratches at the carpet to get in my son’s room in middle of night, also had scratched my grandson a few times, always hissing. The Tom cat with one eye sits by my feet while I’m doing chores moaning, he wants food every hour he is greedy and big, plus he will only go out through the one door, no matter if the other doors are open into the garden. So, so annoying! I mention this to the vet her response was “ cats are sensitive. No your not being unreasonable, they are a pain! The reason my daughter didn’t take the lady cat is it constantly hisses at her husband, and she asked would her brother ( who still lives at home we us) if he would look after it, well guess who is looking after it.

Oh, yes, get another cat. The more the better. It will distract him and love or hate her, it will preoccupy him.

This!! 🤣

We have a cat and he adores DH, couldn't care less about me.
I'm always the one cuddling him, fussing him, buying him treats etc. DH does nothing yet is adored.....

Often male cats prefer female humans and female cats prefer male humans.
I agree with ‘so sad for cab’, letDD2 spoil him, he should transfer his affection to her.

Despite the tone of your post, you must have quite a lot going for you as cats are choosy and he is so very beautiful.
People who ignore cats and make less eye contact are seen as less threatening, coupled with the fact that you are a big predator displaying this non threatening trait, the cat will see you as a safe bet in the absence of his favourite person, who he is probably missing terribly.
Poor Socrates. Please return his love a little

Erm I know plenty of (wonderfully) crazy dog people!

Ok that is a very abnormal view of people. That is probably reflective of you. I have had cats my whole adult life I worked shifts only now that I have retired have I got a dog. Dogs are much needier than that, saying that cats need & want love from their human family. To think that cat owners are crazy, you create this male story about single spinster crazy cat women. You are doing no favours for cats finding homes & single women/ or men who don’t want to labelled as crazy.

My dad and step sister used to live together, she had a cat. She moved out about 2 years ago, and since then her kitty has decided she loves my dad. To the point dad is woken up by the cat standing on his chest purring or padding him. He moans about the cat all the time yet always ends the conversation talking about how funny she is and how she sleeps with him at night. He loves her really as it's great company in the absence of my sister. The hilarious thing about it all is that her name is Precious, so this great big hairy man stands at the door shaking the treats calling 'Precious'!

My advice is not to worry too much about the situation. The cat is lovely and clearly loves you, be flattered it thinks you're the best. 😊

Cats are cute but as a rule cat people tend to be crazy, hence the enraged responses on this thread to a casual post. Think if you'd said dog, dog lovers/normal people wouldn't have flown off the handle

It's only if they're bonded - which isn't always obvious. The only way you can tell is if they groom each other. Otherwise they're just time sharing spaces.

No, cats are individuals, some are solitary and some like company, it depends on the cat. Even if they're not that keen they soon sort it out between themselves and work out how to give each other space. Many cats love having another cat around and they will cuddle up and hang around together. When they're young they definitely like having another cat to play with. Often, when they are going through stressful situations - ie going to the vets or going to a cattery - they will be comforted by the presence of the other cat. I had a cat that grieved for a year when we lost our other cat. I'd never have believed cats felt that deeply but he did.

YANBU. The cat is well-cared for; you just don’t love it. Some of the posters have a sense of humor failure. You would be safer admitting that you just don’t love your DP.

I think you need to start your own thread - it will get you more and better replies. Hope you find something suitable.

Honestly - it's got the point now where I think people WANT to believe he OP is serious.

How are so many still coming in this thread with all the 'shame on you's?

Btw, I'm replying to those who recommend you getting another cat or kitten!

Sorry but I work with vets and this is so wrong. Cats are territorial and usually hate it when you bring another animal into their space - it makes them feel really insecure. Most of their behaviour issues are connected to this and so many owners just don't realise. Cats do not need animal friends!

I’m not over keen on cats myself, especially my neighbours who is a killer cat, his favourite pray being the squirrels which he leaves just the heads of in my garden ewwk makes me feel ill, and their screams are awful …
But I think your being over the top with your hateful attitude to this poor cat, but feel your daughter should have waited until she had her own home to have any animal rather than leave for others to care for.