nobody's priority

I get it @priorityps. I'm in that same position. I know my sisters are there for me. But day to day, without me NEEDING to prioritise me (which they absolutely would and did) their priority is their husbands and their DC.

I'll be on the phone having a chat with my sister and her husband will come home from work and she hangs up to make their dinner.

It's the same with everyone else in my life, being the first thought for someone say in and day out is not the same as them being there for you when you need them.

It's lonely. I sometimes stop sharing things with people for periods of time because I realise that I tell them more than they tell me, because I have no one else to tell these things to whereas they do. They don't need to share with me to feel heard, or to make a connection. Whereas if I don't tell them, them I tell no one.

Hope your not employed in the caring professions.

If you're on any form of social media, which is not real-life, please step away. That's enough to make anyone feel inadequate.

Absolutely lol you nailed it!
Poor you Scrooge Are you ok? Do you need counselling to help you with how "draining" the ops thread made you feel?

Priority Im in a very similar position tbh. I suspect more people are than we might imagine but its all to easy to forget that when some crisis happens or you realise that once again if you dont do it......... no one will. Or coming home to an empty house, eating tea and watching tv, alone yet again. For me having Covid was a huge awakening of just how alone I felt. It can feel really bleak. I understand how you feel x

I think you are looking at things so negatively here. I'm sure you are your parents priority, you are their child! And I could say that without a doubt you are your child's priority.

You're saying that because you're single you are no-ones priority but I wouldn't say my husband has priority over my parents, my sister, my nephews, obviously my child but that's a given. All those people are equally important to me, they all have priority in my life its not a hierarchy.

You're maybe feeling a little low with single life and I get it must be hard to not having another adult to share the little moments with but it sounds like you are loved and have good people around you which is more than many, start looking at what you do have rather than focusing on what you don't.

Username checks out

She’s right though

Could you be a bit more patronising?

This really hit home for me when lockdown lifted. Everyone I knew was making plans to see their nearest and dearest and I was on no one’s list. It was so upsetting and made me deeply depressed. The main thing for me was that I felt alone.
I was then worried that my kids would one day feel this way. I realised that they will never feel this way because they will always be my priority. That thought made me change my outlook.
I took up a new hobby and now have a new group of friends that I socialise with. I know I am no one’s priority, but I feel a little better about life.

I wonder if others really see their priorities in a list like that?

My priorities fluctuate throughout the day/week. Sometimes my priority is to spend time with my family, but at others my priority is to grab a glass of wine and get on the phone to my best friend.

I don't love her any less than I love other people in my life. I might not dedicate as much day to day time to her but that's not because I don't care.

I bet you are actually people's first priority, just maybe you don't realise it. Does your mum ever help you with childcare? At that time you are her priority. Does your dad ever mow your lawn? If so you are his priority at that moment. Do your siblings call you? They are prioritising you at that time.

My DH would appear to be my priority but there are plenty of times that in actual fact I'm much more focussed on someone else.

You are your kid’s number one priority!!!

I understand. Same here. It does get to me. My family aren't local so I have to muddle through.

I’m sorry to say this, but cheer up please, the negative vibe in your message Is really draining.

Accept what your life is, be happy with your lot in life, a lovely son, lovely parents and wonderful friends and once that frown is turned upside down, you’ll gradually meet people who want to chat and maybe more

I dont have anything comforting to say, but me too! I don't have kids either, so it can get incredibly lonely.

My best friend lives with her partner so spends more time with him, but if I needed her she would drop everything for me instantly. It sounds like it is the same for you. There are people who love you and would make you their priority instantly. That is important to remember.

But the day to day loneliness sucks sometimes! Still, for me, it is preferable to being in a bad relationship.