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Original poster

Would you find this offensive? *Trigger Warning*

110 replies

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 09/07/2023 12:14

I’ll try to not be too outing but I’d like to hear other peoples opinion.

I was out for a meal with a group of people (we’ve all known each other for 10/15 years and some are closer than others in the group).

Someone that a few of the people in the group knew recently had a baby. My friend showed a picture of the baby around the table and one person on the table commented and said ‘the baby looks Down syndrome-ee.’

I wasn’t involved in the conversation as I was too busy sending a quick Whatsapp message to someone but I heard the comment being made in the background. As soon as I heard it I instantly got really heated and felt quite angry. I eventually went to the toilet and had a little cry (embarrassing I know).

For context, my 14 month has a rare genetic disorder and is missing the same chromosome that people with Down Syndrome have too much of. I’ve come across a lot of ableist comments since he’s been born but I was knocked backwards hearing that from someone within the group.

I’m also not particularly close to this person but I’m quite disappointed in myself for not saying at the time. I didn’t want to cause a scene but in hindsight, maybe that was a perfect reason to cause a scene.

I know I’m in the wrong for not challenging it but this isn’t okay is it? Peoples reactions were so normal it’s making me feel as if I’m in the wrong.

(please delete this post MN if it’s considered offensive)

OP posts:
CompletekyConfused · 09/07/2023 12:48

It's an appalling thing to say. I don't know what goes through some peoples heads sometimes. You didn't overreact.

Papernotplastic · 09/07/2023 12:46

Yes, it’s offensive. It’s also completely understandable that it upset you and your reaction was to retreat rather than challenge it.

Fiddlerdragon · 09/07/2023 12:46

Well it definitely is offensive. Though if I’m honest it’s something me and my oh or a couple of my very close friends might say to each other if we were thinking it. It’s not something I’d loudly announce to a table full of people I barely knew, in public, as a lot of people would find it very nasty. I wouldn’t have meant it in a nasty way as I don’t see Down’s syndrome as an insult. It was an observation that this person should have kept to themselves really.

Xrays · 09/07/2023 12:46

Very offensive. I have a child with disabilities and I would be very annoyed. I don’t know if I would have said anything though, just given them a glare and not socialised with them again.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 09/07/2023 12:45

It was offensive, you didn’t overreact.

If you have the strength I would tell them that you found it offensive and upsetting.

Backstreets · 09/07/2023 12:45

Fucking weird thing to say! That deserved a sharpish “don’t be bloody stupid” at the very least!

Thebigblueballoon · 09/07/2023 12:44

That’s extremely offensive and I wouldn’t look to socialise with this person again. I’d also be disappointed if nobody at the table challenged them on such a disgusting comment.

fireflyloo · 09/07/2023 12:43

Was the parent of the child in the group? Regardless it was extremely rude and offensive.

jackstini · 09/07/2023 12:42

I would have found it very offensive and would hope I would challenge them (although might be a bit in shock that someone would say something so twattish!)

Tinkerbyebye · 09/07/2023 12:40

Yes I would find it very offensive, and would go out of my way not to meet that person again

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