Last minute invite

I would have thought the same as this post. Family and friends of the parents, not school friends.

This.

When she says she is having friends and family over it sounds to me of more of a family thing than a children's party. It doesn't look to me as though your son is a last minute afterthought at a predominantly kids type party. It seems to be that she has concentrated on her family/friends and then asked her ds of he would like to invite one friend and her son has chosen your Ds. True she could have got in touch earlier but I think this little boy thinks your son is the main man, just as your son thinks of him
I would try to let him go but if your own arrangements mean you can't I would sent a friendly, regretful text keeping options open for other times. 😄

If your son would want to go & have a good time, then yes, I think you would be wrong to decline.

It's about your child not about you.

Sometimes people initially choose to have a family and home friends party celebration only, then as it gets closer to the day they realise they have room for school friends/child has been wittering on about school friends attending.

My DC has been invited to parties in similar situations and I have taken them to attend; it's really not the big deal you are making it out to be. In your shoes I would have accepted and taken your DC to the party, which I'm sure your DC would have loved.

I think you'd be being insanely melodramatic and self-absorbed to decline, assuming you can rearrange your plans without problems, and that your child wants to go.

They're 5 fgs. Let him go.

If he wants to go and you can rearrange your plans, just take him.
Birthday parties can be really stressful with numbers and invites and kids changing their minds about who they want to come... just go with the flow (if you can), be happy he's been invited by a pal, and take him for a bounce.
No point in trying to make a point or score points - best possible scenario for your child in primary school is to be on amiable terms with as many parents as possible.

9.58. Not 10 o’clock, not five to ten - 9.58.

This sounds like they are having family and family friends round rather than organising a kids’ party. They then thought he might like a school friend round as well. I’d send him if he wants to go to this more than what you were doing otherwise.

I would want my DC to keep a level of worth

😳😳😳

It just like she says ‘family and friends’ which I would take to be their friends not their child’s school friends, so it’s not as if all his class mates were invited and he wasn’t.

I’d definitely let him go.

Echoing others- sounds like a family/ non school friends party that your son has been invited to, I would take it as a compliment

It is probably family and family friends as it would have been before they started school, then she suddenly remembered school friends.

If you can't go then fine, but making a point is just silly

There was no hysteria (from me anyway!) but introducing rusty cages might be bordering on it. 🤣

The way forums work is posters discuss a subject which also includes discussion between posters, it would be very boring if it was only replies to op and not a developing conversation.

I can read the rest of you post, but was interested on how you specifically think your dc's "worth" would be affected either positively or negatively, and by whom, by accepting/declining an invite?

I think you should have accepted it. Might be they had non-school friends coming and then her DS asked if your DS could come. Declining is a bit cutting off your nose to spite your son's face.

I think lots of posters massively overthinking this.

Isn’t it possible that the situation is as exactly as the other mum described? She’s having family over for a party and last minute asked one of his school friends ( am assuming she doesn’t know you well since kids are In reception)

As for her son’s ‘worth’ - what matters is how the kids treat each other. Sounds like your son’s friend really nagged to get your son there.

Id cancel your plans and take him. It’s what both the kids want.

OP asked for people’s opinions and I gave mine.

I also told her that she should do what she WANTS to do. She obviously feels sore about it and plenty of other PPs told her to take him to the party as he’ll enjoy it and it’s not really a big deal (which is also a completely valid point).

Honestly, some PPs are so hysterical when other people just give their honest opinions!

It’s a birthday party not locking DC in a rusted cage. No doubt same PPs will accuse OP of irreversibly damaging DC for depriving him of a bouncy castle 😂

At 5 the friends referred to could just be children of their friends, up until school most kids that came to our son's parties were the children of our pals. It's only now he's in year 1 he's having play dates and planning a party with friends he's made independently. I wouldn't be offended if that is the case.

I would want my DC to keep a level of worth.

How does that work? Your dc is 5 and is not going to feel more "worth" not going. The other parent won't really care if he goes or not. The only person who is feeling "worth" is you and hopefully you valued him already! That is just a silly game.

OP, if your dc wants to go and it doesn't interupt your plans let him go, the reason for the late invite is irrelevant.

I think if he would really enjoy it, I would graciously accept.

It's a long road ahead of you in primary school.

The less emotionally involved you can stay in matters like these, the better.

Sometimes people have limited numbers and then there is a drop out and you get an invite.

If it suits great, if not, no problem.

Bottom line is they would like him to be there if he can make it.

I have issued plenty of last minute invites to play dates etc., it happens.

Absolutely this.

I know the children are very young but invite is way too late and I would want my DC to keep a level of worth

A five year old won't realise this. IMO it is mean to use a five year old to make a point. Besides, you don't know why it is a last minute invitation.

It could be that the birthday boy has asked his mum why his best friend wasn't invited. I would accept the invitation. I disagree with using children as pawns to make a point.

If I could take him, I would. There's no point in him missing out if you can help it.