Self-catering holiday: an oxymoron

I don't like this type of holiday and have young kids too. The difference is that if my dh wanted us to go one one he would take over all meal prep and planning. At best I'd load the dishwasher. I wouldn't choose to go on a self catering holiday as I don't want to cook and clean on my holiday (aside from keeping room tidy and organised). I do enough of that at home.

Your issue is you have a voice but aren't using it. It might well be his choice of a holiday doesn't mean you need to tag along or if you do make it clear that he does the meal prep and cleaning after or you'd rather stay in a hotel or somewhere you can go out for meals.

I work full time and still prefer self-catered holidays because the exercise means DC will eat anything I make rather than spend hours arguing with me. I do tend to keep things simple though - a whole heap of scrambled eggs with toast and beans in the morning, lunch tends to he coffee & sandwiches, and dinner’s usually some form of pasta. And we buy a lot of snacks. DH does all the washing up / putting away

OP still hasn't said if they go out during the day and the reasons why they can't take good ideas from here, which make perfect sense.
Are you cooking meals from scratch OP? What ages are the dc? That is another factor not mentioned,

not being funny, but none of that remotely sound like a holiday to me. I prefer self catering with young kids, but having to plan, buy, and prepare food EVERY DAY? I don't think so.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP GOING TO THIS PLACE!

It is not the holiday for you, based on your replies.

Don't really understand this, why can't you do a big shop on the way to the cottage, do a weekly dinner plan, have simple breakfasts (two boxes of cereal and some toast/pancakes on the table), sandwiches at lunchtime, and take turns to cook the evening meal? As for 'snacks'- crisps, nuts, fruit, cereal bars are pretty easy?

If your husband refuses to cook a dinner once every two days, when he is doing absolutely shit-all else, the problem isn't the location!

I'm sticking up for you OP. Not criticising. It's HIS attitude that annoyed me -him thinking you are there to make him meals and tidy up. If he wants a sandwich he can make his own sandwich and clean up afterwards. I wouldn't do self catering with a partner who wouldn't do their fair share of the work either, I'm not surprised you don't want to do it.

I think (for me) meals and cooking is tedious at home because I've got to fit it round working ft, other housework, ferrying teens about and potentially trying to maintain fitness etc

In my mind, once the work, taxi-ing and other housework (I do less laundry and barely any cleaning on hol) are taken out of the equation, shopping for food or making a meal isn't as stressful. DH does a lot of cooking on holiday but I've had a few holidays where I've taken my DC and my dad (who was not in the best of health and essentially like having another child) on my own, and it seemed fine.

But then why is she going on about washing up?

What is the appeal of the location?

I love our self catering holidays.

I sort out the dinners (usually take a couple of meals I've already made and frozen so just need to cook pasta or rice, pizza, burgers and we go out a couple of times)

Dh and dc sort out breakfast and lunches.

Everyone cleans.

In your position, I'd refuse to go.

If your SC holiday isn't a holiday, you're doing it wrong, but you know that.

So why did you not speak up the first time and say 'Im not going to the cottage in the middle of nowhere again'.

If you ate out, had a dishwasher, had easy food, your DH did half of what needs doing and stopped doing unnecessary housework like cleaning bathrooms, because if it's clean at the start of the week and it's going to be cleaned by the cleaners after you leave, nothing else needs doing, then it would be a completely different experience.

That's what people are so frustrated with your posts, you're acting like you have no choice about going on this holiday or the sharing of the work required when you do. So stop choosing to go on a holiday you hate and stop choosing to do all the work while you're there.

People mean a couple of hours for the whole week, not each day. Surely you're not in the cottage the whole time? When we go self-catering, we go out during the day and we'll have lunch in a restaurant/cafe then. Evening meal can therefore be less preparation and we only ever stay in places with dishwashers so no washing up.

We always go self catering. It's just what suits some people. Some people like eating at the same place every night. We want to try different restaurants. Self catering doesn't mean you have to cook every night though obviously you can cook some meals if you want to. It just means you have a choice of where and when you eat.

What happened when you were making the toast and he said he'd love a sandwich then?

So what are you going to do about it OP?

You seem very angry OP, and I'm not sure what you want from this thread.
do you want us just to say yes it sounds rubbish, when the reality is you have many other options to either make it less rubbish or do something different by paying for a holiday which is generally what most people do.

I agree, when the kids were smaller we’d often go on holidays to a caravan and I’d find I just could not do it! Ny now exDH had to go to the shops to buy the food and prepare it all. I could just about prepare a bit of salad but I was all out of energy, I can’t explain it, my brain said no this is not a holiday.
It’s not so bad if you’re somewhere where you don’t have to cater for every meal though.
When the kids were babies, I preferred not to go anywhere as it was worse than being at home as I didn’t have ‘my’ stuff.
If you’re able to, make sure you have a holiday not at the family cottage.

Ok, so yeah, this “holiday “ sounds shit.

So why do you keep going? DH can go if he enjoys it.

Do you not go anywhere other than this holiday home for the whole holiday? You just stay in for the whole time?

Surely you visit places and they have cafes / shops?

I'd throw money at the problem. Disposable plates / cups / cutlery. Easy cook meals (pot of pesto pasta, shop bought pizzas and salad, picnic bits, ready meals as cheap or as decent as you like, buy the sides like rice and salad leaves in packets etc...) Cereal and toast for breakfast. Rolls, crisps, fruit for lunch. Make a few days worth of rolls at a time.

It's doesn't have to be elaborate and if you can suck up the costs you can pay for a bit more convenience.

So why don't you alternate holidays?

If you want a nice AI with lovely food I can highly recommend Seaside Los Jameos at Lanzarote.

You surely have some choice in this.

"I'd love a sandwich too"
Feel free to make one 🤷‍♀️
You are not a slave. You don't have to cater to your husbands whims and wishes while he sits on his arse.

You can stay in an Airbnb and eat out you know.

Making a bed takes seconds!

We stay in Airbnb's all the time. Love having all the space and a proper sofa to sit on in the evening. Can't be doing with just a hotel room and having to sit in an uncomfortable chair or on the bed.

Also don't want to be told what time we can eat breakfast.

We can cook if we want to or eat out. What's not to like?

We go to our parents summer cottage abroad every year. No electricity and cold water only. We bbq most day. We do trips and eat out on those days. No stress.