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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When would you pay?

120 replies

Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:14

I’ve booked tickets for a concert for 8 people.

They are on my credit card so I said no rush to pay as it’s not due until the end of the month (in hindsight I shouldn’t have said this)

6 people paid straight away (as I would have done)

The last hasn’t and I know they won’t until the end of the month.

When would you pay (no one is short of money) - it’s more the hassle of having to check everyone has paid.

YANBU - just pay straight away so the person who booked doesn’t have to keep checking when everyone has paid

YABU - pay at the last minute

OP posts:
SagittariusDwarf · 08/07/2023 21:54

If you'd said please pay asap I'd have paid same day. If you said "no rush" I'd have not paid in a rush.

greenacrylicpaint · 08/07/2023 21:51

I would pay straight away or via online banking schedule payment for payday.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 21:48

Bumblepig · 08/07/2023 21:42

How much are the tickets? Was it pre-planned or an impromptu decision to all go to the concert?

Well over £100 and very much planned

OP posts:
Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 21:47

So where does the monitoring come in?

It's common sense that people will message you when they've paid.

This is very telling about the differing view points people have.

I went to the trouble of booking tickets for everyone - they didn’t know at the time when I’d need to pay the bill, but they did know when the tickets went on sale.

Until they’ve all paid I need to keep it on my radar to chase anyone outstanding

If someone had gone to the trouble of booking something for them I’d pay them straight away so I wasn’t a hassle to them

But it’s clear there’s a minority who don’t think this way.

OP posts:
BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 08/07/2023 21:46

Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 21:34

No, I said you can leave it until the end of the month but 6 out of 7 people didn’t and I wondered if this is the norm or not

Given nearly 90% of the vote would pay straight away, it seems it is the exception rather than the rule

Show quote history

If you've said you can leave it until the end of the month, you can't take the hump if they actually take you at your word as they're presumably not psychic.
People will pay depending on their own personal circumstances, so bit pointless asking what everyone would do

Bumblepig · 08/07/2023 21:42

How much are the tickets? Was it pre-planned or an impromptu decision to all go to the concert?

kayserah · 08/07/2023 21:38

If it was approaching mid month I would pay on my pay day as you’ve already said pay at the end of the month. Or half now half and half st my next pay day

WonderfulUsername · 08/07/2023 21:37

I don't really get why you're saying you have to 'monitor' everyone whose paid and 'YANBU - just pay straight away so the person who booked doesn’t have to keep checking when everyone has paid'.

You said Just to add, everyone has confirmed they’ve paid on a group chat so the last person knows they are the only one outstanding.

So where does the monitoring come in?

It's common sense that people will message you when they've paid.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 21:34

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 08/07/2023 21:31

I’m really confused with this thread and what you’re after! Basically you’re saying ‘I said for them to do A’, ‘why are they not doing B’?

No, I said you can leave it until the end of the month but 6 out of 7 people didn’t and I wondered if this is the norm or not

Given nearly 90% of the vote would pay straight away, it seems it is the exception rather than the rule

OP posts:
Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 08/07/2023 21:31

I’m really confused with this thread and what you’re after! Basically you’re saying ‘I said for them to do A’, ‘why are they not doing B’?

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 08/07/2023 21:14

Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 19:14

I’ve booked tickets for a concert for 8 people.

They are on my credit card so I said no rush to pay as it’s not due until the end of the month (in hindsight I shouldn’t have said this)

6 people paid straight away (as I would have done)

The last hasn’t and I know they won’t until the end of the month.

When would you pay (no one is short of money) - it’s more the hassle of having to check everyone has paid.

YANBU - just pay straight away so the person who booked doesn’t have to keep checking when everyone has paid

YABU - pay at the last minute

I'd pay straight away, but if you've said no rush and you know it's not due until the end of the month, can completely understand why some would wait until then rather than now, maybe that's when they get paid and have spare money?

itsmylife7 · 08/07/2023 21:01

I'd pay straight away.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 20:59

Tangled123 · 08/07/2023 20:46

It really depends on what else I’d paid for that month for me. I hate owing people money, so would try and pay asap, but sometimes that means waiting for payday to come round.

I didn’t say my credit card bill was the end of the month until I’d booked, after everyone saying they wanted a ticket.

What would you have done if I’d had to pay the bill before your pay day?

OP posts:
Tangled123 · 08/07/2023 20:46

It really depends on what else I’d paid for that month for me. I hate owing people money, so would try and pay asap, but sometimes that means waiting for payday to come round.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 08/07/2023 20:45

I'd pay right away if I was able be u am memory is bad 😳

DimplesToadfoot · 08/07/2023 20:45

I'd pay straight away whether I was told no rush or not, I hate owing people money.

JeandeServiette · 08/07/2023 20:44

KarmaStar · 08/07/2023 19:53

Ha ha!! Op,no matter how many times you repeat yourself they are not listening!
🌟The up is not chasing the money or angry s/he just is curious as to whether you pay up straight away or when you feel like it/remember/have the money in this scenario.!!!

Yes but she's skewed the "experiment" with her "there's no rush" complication.

What I would do is irrelevant to what someone else would do if they were told "no rush".

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 20:44

traintraveller · 08/07/2023 20:42

Doesn't matter when we would pay. The issue is that you told folk not to pay until the end of the month. Now you're pissed off they haven't know that you need them to pay before that.

I don’t need them to pay before that

Just wondering why people wouldn't

its clear most people would.

OP posts:
flannelonthesink · 08/07/2023 20:43

To be honest if you said it's fine until the end of the month I'd probably wait until payday to pay you. I wouldn't think anything of it.

traintraveller · 08/07/2023 20:42

Doesn't matter when we would pay. The issue is that you told folk not to pay until the end of the month. Now you're pissed off they haven't know that you need them to pay before that.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 20:42

SamW98 · 08/07/2023 20:40

I’m the organiser of our group so I often book stuff on my card for a few of us - flights tickets weekends etc.

Ill always tell them when my bill is due - sone pay immediately others on their pay day and only very occasionally have I had to prompt and in those cases they’re always apologetic and pay soon as I mention it.

I guess that’s my query - I’d be mortified to have to be asked, so would just pay straight away.

I see it that someone has done the favour of sorting stuff so I’d make their life easy by being able to cross me off the list asap.

OP posts:
Proudofitbabe · 08/07/2023 20:42

I definitely think there's a difference between "no rush" and having to wait all month. No rush to me is taking a few days. Personally I pay pretty quickly as I don't expect someone else to be out of pocket on my behalf.

But it sounds like you actually said you didn't need it until month end, because you wouldn't be charged yourself until then. If so I can see why someone would wait for pay day, thinking there is literally no impact on you.

SamW98 · 08/07/2023 20:40

I’m the organiser of our group so I often book stuff on my card for a few of us - flights tickets weekends etc.

Ill always tell them when my bill is due - sone pay immediately others on their pay day and only very occasionally have I had to prompt and in those cases they’re always apologetic and pay soon as I mention it.

Original poster
Butterflyfluff · 08/07/2023 20:38

I said from the start I did say I don’t need to pay the card until the end of the month.

My question is how many would take this literally and how many would just get on and pay

6 out of 7 paid straight away - one chose not to, knowing everyone else had.

I just wondered if the was the general view or not.

From the vote it seems pretty representative - most people would just get on and pay, some would leave it as long as possible.

OP posts:
VisionsOfSplendour · 08/07/2023 20:37

I'm not in this position often enough to be able to have some kind of standard payment policy but I imagine I'd possibly pay straight away so I didn't forget, I might mean to pay straight away and get distracted before making the payment or I might go with what the original bill payer has said and wait until the time they said

So my answer if it totally depends, I often notice on here that posters are very structured and say they always act in the same way in the same situation so possibly I'm the outlier as I don't really have any rules in my life