DD Interrailing

I think you should be incredible proud of your DD for getting herself organized, booking stuff, sorting it out and going
Interrailing is having a huge renaissance and is very popular again with this age group. There will be loads of young people on their 'route'...routes seem to be all over tiktok and they all go the same route...rather back when gap years through far east to australia were all the rage ...

I would be far more worried about a 13 yr old with such severe anxiety

When my DC went Interrailing by themselves I bought an add-on to their phone contract to enable EU data roaming etc so they didn't have to worry about finding wifi. Also a pre-paid currency card which could be topped up when needed (and could be used like a normal Mastercard). I can understand you feeling sad about not spending the expected time with your DD this summer but it will such a formative experience for her.

My DD did this at the same age too. She went with some friends from sixth form after A Levels had finished, and before they were due to go to uni. They loved it and had an absolute blast! 😃

Make sure that she has good travel and medical insurance. Take it out for her if necessary. Then just see her off cheerfully at the airport and wish them all a great trip.

It's natural to be anxious, but you know you have to keep it under wraps.

Remember that this is Europe, a relatively short trip really and all only a fairly easy and quick flight away if she should need you (unlikely).

I do understand your feelings. This time last year my youngest (DD3, then 20, now almost 21) was heading off to Paraguay to start the first leg of her obligatory year abroad. I was anxious and tearful leaving her at the airport, and so was she. Not that I didn't think she would manage, but it was just so far away if anything were to go wrong (it didn't, even though there were occasional wobbles), and fear of the unknown. She made friends with people going on the same scheme and they were all fine. Her older sister travelled out for the last couple of weeks and they had a great time hopping around South America and doing the Inca Trail together. She also knew that if she really needed me then I would have made a way to get out to her.

She's now coming to the end of the second leg of the year abroad which she has spent in Italy. We have visited her there, and are going out again soon for her last few days there and she will be coming back on the same flight as us.

Try to relax. Your DD is starting to spread her wings now, and she'll be fine. You have to step back and let her go, hard though it is. Just ensure that she knows you are there if needed.

I went interrailing when I was 18 and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I think it's generally really healthy for most young people to do something like it as well. Encourages independence and gives amazing memories. Granted I am European and it was before brexit anyway so unsure of there are any additional considerations yous should make.

Although unsure my mum would feel the same as I ended up meeting my now husband in one of the countries and then moved here and remain 8 years later 😅 kidding of course she's happy as I'm happy.
But basically cannot recommend it enough. And Europe is beautiful by rail.

Goodness. If any child of mine didn't want to go travelling before university, I'd disown her.

I think you should be more worried about your 13yo - going interrailing with your mates at 18 is normal, having panic attacks because your sister is going on holiday is not. I hope she’s okay and you can get her some support for her anxiety.

If something goes wrong, they’ll deal with it. That’s part of life.

Make furs they have their Ghic form and decent travel insurance.

Hope they have a great time.

Like everyone else - youre over-reacting. Is it nore about the sadness of her flying the nest rather than actual worry about her safety on this trip?

Even if she doesn’t yet have the GHIC she can make the application and use the code supplied . A physical card isn’t vital.

But she definitely should apply as travel insurance assumes that you ll use that before making a claim

Your younger daughter needs to be your priority. Why on earth is a teen having panic attacks about her older sister travelling in Europe?

I interrailed when I was 18 and then worked abroad for a year. Your eldest should be encouraged - she’ll be fine as long as uses common sense. Don’t hook up with blokes and stay together with friends.

Worst that will happen is she will phone you to ask if you can transfer more funds as she has over spent.
A lot of Europe is safer than London.
But if I was you I would be far more concerned about my 13 year old. That level of anxiety is not healthy.

I did languages at university... at 19 my parents packed me off for my sandwich year to a European University...I knew no- one.... this was before mobiles. Yet somehow we all survived and I came back feeling like I could rise to any challenge. You can do it too, and so can your daughter.

She is going to be using one of the best rail networks in the world in advanced safe European countries. Politely OP - you need to give your head a serious wobble, you are wildly overreacting. Getting lost / exploring/ seeing new places is exactly what she should be doing. Don't let your MH hold her back.

I think you also need to treat the fact your poor poor DD13 is having panic attacks - presumably she is learning from you - as a serious sign that your MH is having a seriously damaging impact on your family. It's not a normal reaction.

Just make certain she has good travel insurance.
Leave her to get on with it.

She's in a group, she will be fine.

Things she needs:
travel insurance
if possible a GHIC (replacement for EHIC) but you may have left it too late
preferably a phone contract that includes EU roaming (eg giffgaff)
a low-fee way of paying for things when travelling (Monzo cards are good) and a way for you to send her emergency cash if needed
for you and her sister to stop panicking about something thousands of teenagers do every year and let her go and have a great time

(my DS went inter railing after A-levels, aged 17, with a group of friends; DD went solo this year aged 20 - they were both fine and coped with all the minor challenges when trains get cancelled last minute and so on)

What a great summer your DD will have! I went interrailing when I was 19 and I loved it. I'd go again in a heartbeat.

You need to stop panicking and passing your panic onto your younger DD.

I'd be more worried about your 13 year olds anxiety than your DD's adventure. Something worth addressing and being more careful not to project your own anxiety. It sounds amazing and it's hardly a remote and dangerous place the other side of the world. She could come home at any point of not enjoying it. What might she have forgotten? Passport, money, phone and somewhere safe to keep these. Travel insurance . Sorted.

OP, I say this kindly and with good intentions but you and your younger daughter need to get a grip. She's not on her own, she is doing what thousands of young adults do, and she will be off to uni in September so I think you're being a bit over the top.
It is no surprise your youngest is so anxious.

I interailed in my early 20’s, brilliant summer! Sounds like she’ll have a fantastic summer and you should be pleased for her. You’ll understandably miss her but she’s going to have an amazing experience.

You need to sit down with your 13 year old and help her relax. It’s not good for her to feel so frightened about her older sister going away but it’s also rubbish for your older daughter who has an exciting summer planned but could end up feeling rotten about going away when she has a perfect right too.

My dd is going interrailing too soon. I will worry about her of course but she will be perfectly safe with her friends, as will your dd. It sounds like they are very organised, booking everything in advance, they are travelling on trains in europe and staying in hostels, it will be just as safe as at home. Reassure your younger dd, tell her that her sister is going on a wonderful adventure and she will have loads to tell you both about her travels when she comes back.

I did something like this when I was 19 and it was brilliant. We had mobiles then but they were more the 3310 end of things so it was expensive texts and emails at internet cafes to stay in touch and it was fine.

She’s going to have the best summer of her life and then into uni so try to be positive for her. It’s a great thing to do with friends, fabulous learning curve and opportunity for you to enjoy and dedicate extra time to your younger child, while your adult daughter begins to spread her wings.

You’ve raised a young woman willing to adventure, be proud of yourself for that.

Just to reassure you...my daughter did this when she was 18. She and her friend were highly organised, had booked everything in advance and although I was worried, she kept in touch every day. They were very sensible girls and had a great experience. In the end if they ran into trouble we were only a short flight away from anywhere in Europe so I knew we could get there if needed (unlike the Far East where they were originally looking). We had their full itiniery so knew where they should be every night. In the end though, we did not need to have worried. They had the best time and have lots of memories from their trip. Try not to let her see your worry and be excited for her, she will love it.

It's natural to be a bit nervous about your DD spreading her wings, but you have to plaster on a smile and wish her well. It's good there are 4 of them, so they are unlikely to be alone.

Why on earth is her DSis having panic attacks about this ?

Good for her! They'll have a blast. My 18 year old DS went inter railing on his own at 18, and is the world's most disorganised kid, but all went fine. DD went on her own too, although a bit older (23). If they're in a group, they'll have each other's backs. Don't think there's anything to worry about at all. Literally millions of young people have done this.
It's hard to let go - I get it. But be happy and excited for her and she's less likely to feel the need to push you away. You'll have her in your life much more in the decades to come if you can find a way to be excited and supportive of her many future adventures.

I went interrailing two summers in a row. First time I was 17/18 (had my 18th birthday drinking cocktails in Budapest), and second time I was 18/19.

The first summer I travelled with two friends and we planned everything meticulously before, train times, hostels, places to visit etc. The second time we just winged it and found somewhere to stay when we turned up. Both times were absolutely fine. And this was before smart phones.

She will be fine, and she'll have an amazing time.

I had very hands off parenting and only spoke to my parent once while I was away (we went for six weeks both times). My other two friends had to text their parents every day and let them know where they were. One of my friends dad's also bought us all a personal alarm 🤣.

Just make sure she has a money belt thing to wear under her clothes to keep her passport and some money in, health insurance.