About DH aversion to some foods

Hey, by page 12 you might be told you are getting reported to children's services, the hate crimes police and the government for committing terror acts against your DH by cooking food he doesn't like.

Something to look forward to. 😬🙃😜😆😉🙄

I'm with you. If I was at a restaurant and someone started "gagging", I'd be dry heaving right back. It's on the person who is so sensitive to foods that they gag to avoid putting themselves into that situation and ruining other people's meals.

He is NOT autistic I meant. Not another.

I will buy a hat and eat it if this man has suddenly turned autistic after years. WTF! My own DH occasionally makes annoying clicky sounds when bored. I ask him nicely to shut up and he does. He is another autistic or Aspergers or anything. He is just occasionally annoying as humans are.

I may be wrong on this, but I don't think adult onset autism is a thing.

Yes as an autistic the noises are involuntary and yes I make them if I am eating out at a restaurant. Autism is a disability. The sensor processing issues cause a reaction that I cannot control, whether that be a noise, gagging or saying something. I would hate to have things cooked in my own home that cause me physical distress, as that is what happens when someone with autism or sensory issues is subjected to a trigger. It physically hurts and mentally hurts.

So if he does have an actual issue then you are hurting him. He's not "being a child"

I came here to say the same thing. I too am autistic and I can't help making noises at things that are disgusting to me. Is ur husband diagnosed?

Also for the people saying he is acting like a child... am I a child then? Because I too have this issue.

THIS

Though there is a condition called 'entitlement', but it's easily cured.

Next time he does it, take the pot and throw everything in it in the bin.

Tell him he is in charge of cooking from now on, and you will hover nearby making gagging sounds.

Or tell him you're cooking whatever it is for yourself and he can dend for himself from now on.

I have punished DCs for rude and entitled behaviour along the lines of your husband's. This was back when they were 5 or 6. Somebody dropped the ball when your husband was a child.

You have no pointZ because you seemingly can’t understand the Ops posts or have poor comprehension.

Op has already told him to pack it in. It’s dealt with. No need for Op to set the poor, incapable man (that only you think he is) to sort him out tests or therapy.

@Hereinthismoment i think 2027 is a conservative estimate 😂

My point is that it's either medical or it's not. If it's medical, find out what. If it's not, get to the bottom of why. Once op has the relevant information OP can make an informed choice.

You have to be taking the piss.

She told him days to knock it off.

Why are you listing steps for the Op? She isn’t married to a child. If he thinks a medical condition has started this HE can go pursue medical attention.

Love how you at its above MNs pay grade. Then, as an mner, go on to give a ridiculous list of jobs.

I don't know how the icon got there. Ignore.

So he's been normal throughout your marriage, but 'lately' [this week, month, year] started gagging and commenting on normal cooking smells.

With the gagging, with a woman, I would say, 'Is she pregnant?'

With a man there are only three options. 1 that something rare and medical has rapidly developed. Or 2.; That he has a psychological problem making him gag involuntarily. Or 3. he's doing it deliberately .

In any case, it is above Mumsnet's paygrade.

He won't have a reasonable conversation about it. So your first step is to rule out a genuine medical reason. Maybe gagging at smells is a symptom of something.(A) consult a doctor to find out if it could have a physical cause. The way one smells burnt toast when having a stroke. E.g. something like a tumor in the area of his brain perceiving smell has developed, or if it's a symptom of something, like pain in your shoulder means something is wrong with your liver or wherever.

If he is cleared by a doctor, then:

(B) A therapist to get to the bottom of why he's doing this. An involuntary reaction, e.g. Some childhood trauma or whatever, or (C) Is he just being a dick to make your life difficult for some reason.

The outcomes will be (i) he stops it, (ii) he doesn't. Then it's for you to decide to (I) live like that forever, (II) stick around in the hope it stops.

@MotherofGorgons Oops, just noticed that you made my point yesterday!

I'll tell you what I find depressing. The lengths some people will go to find excuses for men's rude and boorish behaviour!

I agree. I don't know how some people survive in the real world.

What I have noticed on MN is that there is literally nothing a man can do that cannot be explained away by some incredibly rare condition. He can't just be a twat.

IRL most people manage to get through their lives without retching and gagging.

The reaching on this thread is quite something.

If and when, you have been told about 5 times, by consultants either about you or DC

”I can expect to see a case of this every 5 years…..”

”I’ve never met anybody, symptomatic with this syndrome before…..We didn’t know anything about it…..” (DD1 is third in the world afaik)

”She’s in our top league and challenging within that….” (1 in a million)

You spent 10 years telling consultants that x, y, z happens; nobody listens until one day someone says “That’s exactly what I’d expect to see…..”; and 20 GPs have told DD2 over 5 year period, that every woman gets period pain…..and the rest of her symptoms are due to anxiety; then it turns out to be endometriosis…..

Then you become more open minded to the idea, there can be logical and rare explanations for things!

It seems that the gagging could be involuntary. But honestly if it's that bad to cause gagging he need to go to a doctor.

There is hypersensitive gag reflex! I think I’ve got it, as I only have to get a fish or chicken bone in my mouth….I don’t eat fish or poultry in restaurants unless it’s fillets or off the bone, as it’s just too embarrassing to vomit in restaurants! Likewise, when I was pregnant with twins and suffered all the time sickness; I couldn’t brush my teeth, because I could barely eat, never mind put anything hard in my mouth! Opticians also tell me, I have a strong blink reflex - they have real problems, doing certain tests! The eye clinic had to give up!

If DH has a sensitive gag reflex, he’s not just going to be able to control it!

I think you need to talk to him and say “while I accept you don’t want to eat those foods, when I am preparing them or eating them, I insist that you be quiet (& no gurning either) or leave the room. The rest of your family are allowed to enjoy cooking and eating in peace.”

Can I add a new 'diagnosis' to the list OP? Has your DH had Covid recently? Because that can play merry hell with one's sense of taste and smell. Certainly did with mine. I was known to say 'yuck that's vile' on more than one occasion when something I thought was going to taste good actually tasted like it was off. Mind you, it was food I cooked, not food someone else made! There are FB groups devoted to smell/taste alterations after Covid - goodness there must be a lot of those folk who are making disgusted noises, and I do feel a lot of sympathy for them having read of their experiences. Fortunately my own taste changes have mainly ameliorated with time, but there are still foods that taste yuck to me.

You said your DH has taken to making these noises recently, that does seem odd and if he wasn't doing it before then it must be something he can control? Seems more like a bad habit he's developed. Most people learn not to be so vocal if they dislike food, out of politeness.