Did I do something wrong?

I know it's easier on the outside looking in but frankly, it does come across to me as being just a tad thoughtless in the respect of you not stopping to consider that maybe, having something as 'in your face' as a framed photo etc was possibly not something she might not want or be able to cope with yet? 🙄I know when my Mum died it was ages before I could bear to even look at photos of her, it was just too painful and even now, 10 years on if she pops up on an old video it's like an arrow in my heart! 😥You just have to accept that she was upset by your gift even if you find it hard to understand...If you haven't already done so a little note to say you're sorry etc etc will mean a lot to her and as others have said you will just have to wait and see what the future brings for your friendship...She may be feeling bad about her own reaction to your gift but only time will tell? 🤔

You were being very kind and thoughtful.

Your friend is extremely rude.

If it was a horrific accident, it’s likely that it will take a very, very long time to even begin to accept the loss, let alone begin to properly grieve. It’s just too soon. Your thoughts were kind, and she’ll appreciate that, given time. For now, just be there for her, to listen and accept her in all her stages of grief . You don’t need to do anything else

This, entirely

Grief is such a weird thing OP. You tried to do a nice thing and it didn't hit the mark - you weren't to know it wouldn't.

I'm still hurting over the passing of my cat. It's only a cat, but she meant so much to me. Sometimes I can talk about her, and I do, then the person I am with will carry on talking about her and I'll have to ask them to stop talking about her. Literally one moment to the next, my ability to cope changes. Thankfully, the people around me understand that my weirdness is just because it hurts and I cannot cope with this particular hurt very well.

I can absolutely imagine me being the type to write a poem about the subject of my grief, and then getting upset when someone reflects it back at me - even if it is such a lovely thought and gift.

You never know - When she is out of this, maybe she will feel differently about your gift. She may not, but, I don't think you did anything wrong.

Years ago I went on a holiday with a friend and we made a sandcastle on the beach. No masterpiece, in fact it was shit (using a fag end as flag about sums it up), just a bit of fun to pass the time. I put the photo along with other holiday photos on Facebook. Later for a birthday my aunt (who wasn’t on the holiday by the way) printed and framed that one of the shit sand castle and gave it to me as a present.

I don’t think I was a very gracious gift recipient, I didn’t hide my confusion very well! I thought: it’s my own photo, it’s of a fun moment that had nothing to do with you, it’s not even nice photo honestly and you’re giving me my own photo back to me to put up in my house??

I don’t think you did anything wrong. Just for whatever reason it’s not what she needs right now. Don’t over think it. She says she appreciates the kind intent but to please not send her anything else. All you need to do is respect her wishes.

I agree with this post

I think that’s a lovely kind caring thing to do. So sorry about your husband.

I think what you did was lovely. My DD took a beautiful photo of her Step dad and framed it with the words from the song played at his funeral. I thought it was a very thoughtful thing to do.

I don’t think you ‘did anything wrong’ but more mistimed the gift. I would have asked if she would be ok if I made her a gift with the poem & picture before actually giving it to her.
The last thing I think she wants, right now, is a visual reminder of the friend she has lost & your gift has just hit a very, very raw nerve.
She does appreciate the gift, she has sort of said thank you for it, but can’t handle it right now, if you get what I mean.

OP, your situation with your friend notwithstanding, how are YOU doing?
Ex-DH announced he was leaving me the week my beloved dad died suddenly. The whole family was completely devastated, especially DM. But bless her, she said that he hadn't wanted to leave and in many ways DH leaving me was almost worse because it was his choice.
Take care of yourself, and be strong. All will be well.

I think she over reacted as she is grieving. I would leave it at that and still give birthday and Christmas presents.

I think what you did was really kind and if I had received it I would have been very touched.

I think maybe she is just grieving her reaction is odd. Don’t worry about it you did a nice thing

I agree. An ex took a photo from my FB of me with my son and had it blown up and framed without telling me then got upset that I wasn’t falling over myself with gratitude.

It’s a lovely photo but it was a moment between me and my boy that was ours - it really wasn’t for someone else to decide it should be hanging up on my wall.

It's very kind & thoughtful of you but I've had to say the same thing to people. I hate when people give me picture frames, cushions, coasters etc. I want to decorate my house how I want and not have to display something that is someone else's taste.

I have to agree with this. I would have found the gift so bizarre and I would have reacted in the same way as the friend.

Just let it go OP. She’s made herself clear and has been polite. Let her deal with her grief in her own way

Why would she have sent you the photos and poem in the first place? You hardly want them - it's her best friend not yours. Very weird thing to do and even weirder reaction. I suppose you can just put it down to grieving gone wrong but I would be asking myself if she really was a friend.

Seems odd -it's fine for her to send you a poem and photos but not you to her?

Maybe you don't want someone pouring out all their grief onto you? (And it's bern made clear it's your friends best friend -which sort of puts you in your place as NOT HER BEST FRIEND- and you only knew the person who died in passing)

So weird all round really. She's leaning on you but when you respond, she gets offended? I'd not really know how to respond to that beyond withdrawing a bit.

I’ve never been to the home of my closest friend. She lives about an hour away, but her husband is a hoarder and she’s embarrassed.

There's an expectation that people will respond to a gift giver, with thanks, appreciation etc.
Perhaps she's not ready for any kind of discussion related to her loss yet.