Did I do something wrong?

Don't mind people saying your behaviour was bizarre OP, and don't worry about future gifts! As a PP said, just let her know you understand and that you're there to support and listen. Perhaps it was a shock to see her friend's face when she opened the package. Your intention was kind. I'm sorry about your husband leaving you. That's devastating too. Look after yourself x.

I think what you did was lovely.

I guess that's the thing isn't it, we're human, we all respond differently to situations (just read Mumsnet to see that!).

YANBU to send the gift. But I guess she's entitled to ask you not to send anymore. I agree with others, don't think anymore of it.

TBH, I think printing out her message and photo is very odd, and sending them back to her in a frame. I wouldn’t know what to do with that. I’d feel a bit blindsided. I can see you meant well, but it is nothing I’d want to receive.

Maybe it made her realise the poem is a bit shit😏

It was a nice gesture, particularly when you are having a hard time yourself, but for whatever reason one she didn't really appreciate; she's said thank you, but let you know it was something she wasn't ready for.
You're probably both quite sensitive right now - make time for her when she needs it if you have the emotional headspace.

OP You tried to do a nice thing and misjudged it. We have all done that in one way or another at one time or another.

I'm sorry you are going through a hard time. To the poster who said death of a friend trumps husband leaving I think that's incredibly insensitive. There is no grief top trumps. Don't overthink it. Take care.

And please don’t try and compare your ‘grieving’ your DH moving out to her grief at her friend’s death.

Don't beat yourself up.

How were you meant to know? You weren't. You're not a mind reader. You are being thoughtful and kind and she just grieving.

You didn't. Your friend's response makes it clear that she realises you were trying to do a nice thing.
And that she appreciates your friendship (or she might not have been so polite).

Grief is hard and people don't always get things right. just let her know that you are still there for her.

I know you meant well but she texted you pictures of her dead friend to share her memories and you printed one out, framed it and sent it back??? That’s just so bizarre. She already had the pictures. If she wanted them framed she’d have done it herself!

Something like a card or a small gift to say you’re thinking of her is a normal gift. Your ‘gift’ was inappropriate.

I imagine shes not thinking straight. I'm sure that's what it is. She is grieving- not only did her best friend die you said it was horrific. She's probably feeling and thinking all sorts of things so don't take it personally. Maybe send a message like "Noted. If I can do anything or you want to talk I'm here"....

I suspect it was just too soon and seeing the pictures and poem brought back the pain

Well I wasn't wrong was I 🤷
Friend set a simple boundary and op had to go to mn for advice on it.
It was fairly obvious why the boundary was set.

You didn't do anything wrong, you were being thoughtful.

Coming from your friend's POV though... I lost my best friend just over three years ago. His death absolutely poleaxed me and I couldn't bear to look at photos of him - it took about 18 months until I could look at a photo of him without curling into a howling ball of grief.

Again OP, you've done nothing wrong. It was a sweet gesture, just not at the right time. Please don't beat yourself up about it xx

Irrelevant

Ffs, nothing is safe from snide categorisation these days. Please OP, don't be put off kind intention by your friend or posters on here. It's fine that your friend doesn't want gifts, she's grieving, let her do it her way.
You've done nothing wrong.

Too soon.

Leave her be with her grief.

Offer walks or something distracting not a reminder.

Don't start guessing what to do at Christmas! That's months away.

See I'd find that too much OP. I'd be weirded out.

It was a lovely and kind thing to do. I think grief can really affect us in strange ways. I think if I was your friend and you had done that I would feel a little bit taken aback and (I can’t find the word right now, but imagine you were naked under a duvet and someone yanked the cover off you with no warning) exposed isn’t quite the right word. I think sometimes when we’re in grief we want to be able to talk about it and show it but not have it spoken about or shown to us by others as we’ve not braced ourself for it. If feels like we want to owe it sort of and can get quite protective and territorial, I think she might have felt a bit violated …. I known that’s such a strong word (grief is a crazy thing) but I lost my mum not too long ago and I felt like that when people done certain things. I personally would have said thank you so much and dealt with my feelings myself because it was a genuinely lovely thing that you done. We just can’t predict how grief will affect us and those around us. She’s lucky to have a friend like you who was brave enough to care and take the chance, most of my friends disappeared as is often the case as they don’t know what to say . You did a kind thing and you’re a great friend. She knows that.

I agree with this OP.

She will know there was no ill intent behind it.

Lovely thought.

That is the oddest way you could take what the OP did

Uhhhh

horrific death of a close friend trumps divorce, sad as it is for you.

you don’t get to make this about you - your gift was odd and caught her by surprise

Some people over gift massively, can make people quite uncomfortable with it, and need boundaries set in. So yes, being a gifter is not exactly always a positive.

The mesaage sounded like boundaries setting simply.

I think you did a lovely thing.

I don't think this is relevant and I don't think the two things are comparable OP.