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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky SIL

97 replies

MotherofboysUk · 02/07/2023 14:49

AIBU ? So my DH’s young brother and wife are in town for a week and they are staying with us and I’m slowly loosing it . I’m 34 SIL is 25 and she has zero respect for me . She wakes up at 1100 and does not clean up after herself and expects me to make her breakfast and do her dishes . Also they have been fighting constantly since arrival with her hubby over petty issues . I have a 13 month old and last night they had the tv on full blast . Its so annoying and i really want them to leave . How do i live for the next coming 6 days with peace within my home any advice ?!

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 02/07/2023 16:34

I really wince at all this "What does your DH say" or "You need to get your DH to have a word" crap that is churned out when it's an In Law issue .

OP you are an adult and you have A Mouth.
Tell them.
It's not essential for your DH to Have A Word .

Nomorenonbinary · 02/07/2023 16:29

Just bloody talk to them.

TucSandwich · 02/07/2023 16:27

YABU for putting up with this shit.

keyboardkat · 02/07/2023 16:24

It is your DH issue to solve. You are not related to either of them. Has your dear husband anything to say, or does he care, or is he afraid to rock the boat?

Softoprider · 02/07/2023 16:07

I'm fining this thread a bit hard to believe

Luxell934 · 02/07/2023 16:06

Wenfy · 02/07/2023 16:04

  1. Don’t give her breakfast in her room. If she doesn’t eat that’s fine.
  2. Tell them to keep the TV down
  3. Get your bil to help with chores. She might be shamed to join in

Help with chores? They are only visiting for a bloody week! I don't think they need a chore list. 😅Honestly only on Mumsnet.

yaya83 · 02/07/2023 16:05

“Cereals / bread are in this cupboard-help yourself or there’s a cafe 10 mins away that does a nice breakfast. Dishwasher tablets are here and I use this spray to wipe counters when we’ve finished eating. Enjoy”

Regarding the tv being on too loud-“hey, small baby is sound asleep and the walls are thin. Could you turn it down please?”

As women, we have been reared to be insane people pleasers-this is your home!!! Put your foot down!!

Wenfy · 02/07/2023 16:04
  1. Don’t give her breakfast in her room. If she doesn’t eat that’s fine.
  2. Tell them to keep the TV down
  3. Get your bil to help with chores. She might be shamed to join in
Ellie1015 · 02/07/2023 15:57

You have to tell her to help herself to breakfast and then to clear up. Tell them to keep tv down etc. They are being rude but it is daft to let it continue another 6 days.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 02/07/2023 15:56

What did she say when you had an adult conversation before posting on mumsnet about it?

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 02/07/2023 15:56

MotherofboysUk · 02/07/2023 14:49

AIBU ? So my DH’s young brother and wife are in town for a week and they are staying with us and I’m slowly loosing it . I’m 34 SIL is 25 and she has zero respect for me . She wakes up at 1100 and does not clean up after herself and expects me to make her breakfast and do her dishes . Also they have been fighting constantly since arrival with her hubby over petty issues . I have a 13 month old and last night they had the tv on full blast . Its so annoying and i really want them to leave . How do i live for the next coming 6 days with peace within my home any advice ?!

Why the duck are you making her breakfast. Point her towards the toaster, dishwasher and surface spray and let her crack on.

and just tell her to turn the tv down 🙃

viques · 02/07/2023 15:56

Put sign on kitchen door,” Closed for Breakfast. Kitchen Open 7.30 - 8.30 daily”. Write down walking directions for the nearest cafe, preferably greasy spoon rather than artisan avocado on sourdough.

toffeeappleglow · 02/07/2023 15:54

The only way to survive their visit is to stop doing the things you don't want to do. Tell them to help themselves to the kitchen for breakfast. Ask them to turn down the volume while your child's asleep. And so on. You shouldn't have to, but with some guests it's the only way.

SeatonCarew · 02/07/2023 15:53

My DH says the world needs more Aunty Sues.

Meeting · 02/07/2023 15:53

How do you deal with it? Quite simple, open your mouth and say something. And stop waiting on a grown woman.

Luxell934 · 02/07/2023 15:47

Why is it just a cheeky SIL though, assuming they were both watching tv loud?

Personally if I was staying in someones house I wouldn't start opening their kitchen cupboards to whip myself up bacon and eggs 😂

If I had guests I'd probably offer breakfast anyway to be honest or leave some cereals and milk on the kitchen table.

Hibiscrubbed · 02/07/2023 15:47

Has anyone actually had the balls/fanny to tell the ungrateful twat to sort her shit out?

jeaux90 · 02/07/2023 15:42

Your guests are taking the piss. Your DH and you need to tell them.

EVHead · 02/07/2023 15:41

Get them told! It’s your house!

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/07/2023 15:39

Why are so many women on here defaulted to staying quiet whenever anyone fucks them over!?! Genuinely confused as to why? Are you afraid of them?

Tophy124 · 02/07/2023 15:37

You also have a brother issue too!

Tophy124 · 02/07/2023 15:36

TELL THEM.

I just had family to stay who were acting similarly, with us waiting on them hand and foot and asking what was for meals with no offer to cook for us and eventually I snapped and told them I’m not a hotel and to make their own bloody food and drinks! I’d also have a word with your brother and say the arguing needs to end or they need to go as it’s making you uncomfortable in your own home and TV needs to be turned down after 8pm.

jellyminelli · 02/07/2023 15:29

What's the 9 year age gap got to do with it?

midsomermurderess · 02/07/2023 15:27

Lay down your expectations as to her behaviour. What else do you think you should do? Where does this helplessness come from? How do people get through life being so, well, bovine?

Bridgingthefeckingmassivegap · 02/07/2023 15:24

Probably in the minority here...but I wouldn't just help myself and make meals in someone else's house when staying there on hols! Most family members host for one of the days then point out cereal or whatever for following days. (Obviously it's different when staying in my childhood home with my DM). Likewise I do the same when we have people over, usually have a few options in etc.

If you haven't specifically said to help yourself, is she actually expecting you to do all this or are you just doing it assuming she's wanting you to?

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