Prison visit TikToks

This thread has derailed a bit.

The prison TikToks are grim for sure. I feel for these women who see this as something to be glamourised. However, I am guessing, but really don't know for sure, that many have been brought up around men who have been in prison/who are dangerous so it's "normal". These are just the ones I have watched so may be different to others experiences with prison TikToks.

I saw one woman choosing her boyfriends high-end designer gear to take in. She spoke about how they argue when she's late, she was late, they argued and the whole visit was awful. I can only assume that either this woman has no-one asking her WTF she's doing OR they see it as normal OR she is in too deep OR she has no-one else.

There's a multitude of reasons for her need to stay and for her boyfriend being locked away. I do find it bloody sad 😔

Ok, but we aren’t talking legally. People use it as a blanket term to describe those things, the person knew what was meant by it. It’s just a quick and easy way of saying people have learning difficulties or differences, and on forums people use shorthand.

'Special educational need' is a legal definition and refers to children with learning problems or disabilities that make it harder for them to learn than most CHILDREN the same age.

Not a blanket term for issues that prisoners may have or have had as children.

How does Special Educational Needs imply children? Can adults not have SEN? it’s mostly used in schools because they’re educational settings, but it’s just a blanket term for learning disabilities, disorders and mental health problems. Most prisoners have some sort of disability/MH issue or abusive and neglectful pasts.

I really don't think any young woman or woman with decent self esteem and decent prospects in life would waste time dating these criminals, it's sad that they film it for likes on social media too but sadly not surprising.

You are both correct, it was more than a scrap - although there were no blows inflicted by my partner. He was arrested under the basis of joint enterprise

So he is on remand @TitaniumCranium, it's more like GBH than a scrap outside a pub or this is not his first rodeo?

Absolutely, that’s your right and I also completely understand your perspective too.

As far as Tiktok goes, some of the women show what is probably a reality for a number of women. The vast majority do seem to be of traveller women or the girlfriend of Stephen Bear who do look to glamourize. My expectations for tiktok as a whole are pretty low as the majority of the content seem to offer not much in the way of informative content in the first place

How pathetic are these women, not many brain cells in action there along with extremely low self esteem to stay with these loser men.

I see this is an old thread. I fall into the middle category. I’ve been with my partner 3 years and we’re both, what I would consider, perfectly normal people - we both have/had relatively good jobs, no prior incidents, no involevement with drugs or gangs or fraud. Just normal people. With that being said, he was involved in a fight outside a pub and is now awaiting trial.

I can’t profess to being an expert on people in prison but there very much seems to be a mixed bag - people who’ve made singular errors in judgement and people who consider it to be a home away from home.

On visits there are women with very young children, older children, people who look very startled. There are also, according to my partner, men exactly like how you describe: manipulating, especially those in for DV related offenses or obsessive and controlling behaviour which doesn’t stop when the go to jail.

I do think people who seek out relationships with prisoners are a bit unwell
and not unlike the women obsessed with serial killers however I understand I am in no position to judge ~too much~. I definitely anticipated much of the responses about the women being scumbags too so I wasn’t expecting a red carpet. This is definitely a personal decision I haven’t taken lightly - especially as it wasn’t a victimless crime which seems to be the big sticking point - so there is no expectation for others to hold any sympathy for my predicament or others like mine.

What are commuting crimes? Is that like farting on the train?

The poster reads as immature, so pointless engaging further.

@Againstmachine haha! NO

If you want to be thread police please start your own thread too.

For a start I was sleeping and I don't answer to you.

You also state that your dad was a good dad but he commited crimes so that's plural, commuting crimes is a choice, he may have been a good dad, I'm sure many criminals are doesn't stop them being scum to others.

@Againstmachine you are not coming across very well at all.

Start your own thread about your issue maybe, it's clear you want to turn this thread into a thread about victims! Start one then?

You do like sensationalism, don't you?

Are you there @Againstmachine ?
No reply?
No observations or comments you'd like to make?

Big reach. There are good people that have made bad decisions that are in prison. There are people who are truly awful but there are also some good people who have broken the law

Not glorifying anything just being factual and if you check my previous posts that used this name you'll see why I chose it.
It really isn't as simple as you make out you know. Unlike many people in prison my father was literate, thoughtful and had no issues with drink or drugs. He was a good father. However uncomfortable or distasteful you may find that view I have no other because that's the person I knew. Growing up I was protected from much of what he did and had little knowledge of his criminal activities. I was a child who loved her dad.
And before you start I also know what its like to be a victim because his killer only got four years.
I think you need to look at the world less starkly because things are rarely as clear cut as you believe them to be.

But nobody is saying "never mind the victims" if anything the victims are at the core and centre of rehabilitation. And offenders who are prisoners and truly rehabilitated really do understand the impact their offending has had on their victims, because no crime is victimless.

But what some of us are trying to explain, is that offending behaviour is complex and multifaceted, and nice people can most definitely commit crimes, but that does not make them "scum". Does it make them an offender, yes. Does it make them a prisoner, yes (if they receive a custodial sentence).

But at the end of the day, they are human beings, and whilst nothing truly excuses or negates their crimes (except for cases when they are not fit to stand trial) . The impact that has had on victims is important, but offenders are people too, and labels such as "scum" is not justified.

I've problem people glorifying criminals, even you are with your username.

He did some bad things but was a lovely person righty ho, n ver mind his victims.

That's my father you're calling vile scum. He was a great dad and a lovely person. He did some bad things and was punished. What is your problem?