DS proposing at 18

@burndelight
If it was on a whim then I would say omg and hasn't know the person long enough

However as you put on, it seems that's a very good basis for the friendship group and relationship, all being well and if no one has affairs then all should be good and happy marriage.

Besides op how many people on here waited and thought their partner was the one for the them, got married and it all went pickles.

No they won’t. If they live together in a house share, they will not be joint tenants, but have own tenancy agreements. One gives notice and moves out and the remaining flat mates get a new flat mate.

Students get new accommodation all the time.

Apologies @mummyoffourminimes I didn't check the syntax of my post before posting , I don't mean let them as in they need to ask permission, more that it's something they can do anyway... Not really sure why you jumped on 2 small words

"Let them"

They are adults ffs 🤦‍♀️

To be honest, let them get engaged if that's what they both want, but from personal experience, my ds was going out with someone for 2 1/2 years, they'd known each other forever and her mum was a friend of mine. She ditched my ds on his 21st birthday and slept with his best friend, ds had been living with her and suddenly found himself homeless in the middle of the night because she decided she couldn't bear to have him in their shared accommodation anymore.
So, make sure he knows what to do if the relationship does crumble and consider living seperately even though it might seem a good idea to save money.

Oh this is lovely. You should be happy for them OP. DH and I got married when I was still at uni, he was doing his masters by then and I did mine after that. 15 years and 4 children (and 4 degrees) later we are very happy and in love and built our life, careers and finances together which means we are in a much better position than most my age.

You need to tell them congratulations and support them in setting up their life together. If you don't they'll always remember how you treated them in this time.

Getting engaged without a clear plan and set date for a wedding, is a meaningless state. Don't stress about it, there's a 99% chance they'll have split by Christmas anyway.

Seriously, what is the point? Marriage could arguably be needed, or at least convenient , for those with:
religious beliefs/hangups
assets
children
If they don't have significant assets or children and aren't going to have any for several years, and are not devoutly religious, then just ... why?
Why not wait til 25 and see if they are still compatible then.

❤️❤️❤️

Yes at 18 they are very young ( extremely young ) but he is classed as an adult .

When you are that age , you think what you are , is how you will always be . I'm sure most on here will agree you change , you are not the same at 22 /28 and so on .
You probably can't change his mind but more than likely her parents will try to put her off doing this .
He could also be ' staking his claim ' on her so that uni shenanigans with any new shiny potential partners don't happen.
You could tell him whilst you don't think it's the best idea , you respect his decision and will support him.

I was engaged at 18, married at 21, been married 9 years now and still very much in love.

All the "we're going to love each other forever" relationships I knew as they went off to uni, only two survived beyond the first year. Most failed in the first term.

There are exceptions-just as you wouldn't think that two 16yos marrying for the main reason that they had a baby on the way, with no housing or jobs or qualifications would last. My Uncle and Aunt have just celebrated their golden wedding.
However they wouldn't advise that for anyone.

A lot of us get 'engaged' young but it doesn't amount to anything/go anywhere in the end.

I just think there’s absolutely no need to get engaged at that age. It doesn’t prove commitment, or anything really.

And I say this as someone who has been with DH since I was 18 and at Uni and we’re still together 24 years later with a pre-school aged child.

Sorry that didn’t make sense - I would talk to him about how she might say no and it ruin the relationship or that you think it would be better to wait but I don’t think you should say what an awful idea it is outright, as that might make him do it more.

What an idiot he is.

I would just focus on the idea that if things are going well then why is he trying to change it.

That’s so sad and I’d be devastated if my DD got engaged at 18.

But teens will often do the opposite of what their parents say so if tell him that you think it’s too early and if she says no it might damage the relationship/cause issues with her family etc.
But say whatever he decides you’ll fully support and just secretly hope that he changes his mind.

I teach A level so I know a lot of eighteen-year-old girls and I can honestly say that I think they would all be horrified to receive a proposal right now, even from a serious boyfriend whom they love very much. With that in mind whilst I wouldn’t attempt to meddle in any way I would very very gently encourage DS to consider the possibility that she might say no, even if she loves him.

Ohhh it’s all going to go tits up when he asks her dad for his daughters hand and gets told to fuck off 🤣

I hope the ring he buys is cheap. I’d bet money they won’t last through uni. And yep, it’s bonkers!

I would think less of a boy who asked my husband’s permission to marry our daughter. I cannot believe people think is a respectful thing to do. Yuk.

Tone fair Dh and I never did uni....

However,
we met at 14, were on the off, then on then off, but this year we've been together 31 years, 2kids who'll be 25 and 22 in September, and married 21 years, so yes it can work!!

I would actually be perturbed that he's speaking to her parents about it without her being present. Do you know if she even knows about it, or is it going to be a surprise for her on holiday? If that's the case, let's hope it doesn't backfire on him. Does he feel he needs the world to know she's "his" before they go off to uni. My take on it is coloured by a very similar situation (begining at age 17 - both of us) where the young man turned into a control freak as soon as we actually got to uni and ruined the next 7 years of my life. I would be very worried that he feels the need to go behind her back and get her parents on side.

A man asking another man’s permission to marry his daughter is gross.

Even just informing the parents before proposing to a girl is disrespectful to her. Why the hell should her parents know before her? He shouldn’t sneak over to their house whilst she is at prom to give them the heads up. Treat her like an equal if he wants to propose.

I got an engaged to my husband when I was 18. We had known each other 6 months. We are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary next week and have been a couple for 20 years. There is hope I promise, when you know you know.

I'm another one saying it's not the big scary thing you think. It's another level of commitment when they might feel a bit insecure about meeting a lot of new people and moving onto a new stage in their lives.

I got engaged at 17, just before uni, DH and I got married on our 10 year anniversary, 5 years after university, but it made both of us feel safer in our relationship while at university. We weren't the only engaged or committed couple either, 50% of which also went on to get married after university.

So, they are going off to uni in the same city and want to live together.
I think the living together will be the bit that will make them or break them.
It can go either way.
Yes, he is young, but there are no rules in love!
Let's see what she says. It may be a shock to her. I know I would not expect a proposal at that point!