Am I just being a bitch?

I wouldn't put up with this at all. Give her a deadline - maybe one more month and then she has to be out. Make sure it's extremely clear that you won't extend. Be firm.

At 27 I would have been really grateful for free room and board. I think you need to have a chat about her plans moving forward, it doesn’t matter how picky she is, you were doing her a favour, it’s not an obligation and it’s time for her to move on.

I would be so ashamed of my DD behaved like that at 27! She’s almost 30 and should know better by now.

Unhappy people still have to pay their way - no one else gets to freeload just cos they are tired or homesick. Definitely a bit of tough love needed here. She needs to go, if she is not being pro active you'll have to nudge her. I'd be afraid if she started paying rent then she would never leave. Pathetic behaviour from a grown woman IMO.

Where do you want her to go? Rwanda?
You obviously arnt obliged to do anything as you are just being nice but if you’ve agreed to help her out and they are your niece I would probably just support her a bit more. It doesn’t sound like she is taking the piss, but she’s in a new country, probably doesn’t know anyone and has to commute an hour and a half for work? That sounds pretty grim.

You may have to make money the issue to get her moving.
Sit her down, it's been lovely having you these three months.
We did think you'd have found your own accomodation by now, but you're still very welcome for the next 3 months until you find somewhere. The rent for the next 3 months is 1000 a month, or whatever the local rate is.

She sounds depressed. Do you know what she was like before she moved? My initial feeling is that she isn’t happy in this country and doesn’t want to cement the move by signing for a rental. By staying with you there’s still a flexibility to run back home? It sounds like it’s her lack of interest in anyone or anything to do with your home that bothers you most. Start with a friendly chat with her and maybe her parents to see how she’s feeling and plans to move onwards and out of your place

She is being incredibly rude and disrespectful...she's not particularly young. 27 is old enough to know you behave better when living off someone else's kindness.

She needs to move out so you need to talk to her about that.
It doesn't sound pleasant for anyone.#
With any of these situations where someone rocks up and is going to stay for a while "until they get themselves sorted" there really needs to be a very clear time scale right from the beginning otherwise a lot of people won't bother getting themselves sorted and the time just drags on, making everyone miserable.
While she is finding somewhere to rent she must contribute to your household - not pocket money for kids - but a contribution to bills and food if she wants to eat your food.

Why are people getting the parents involved? She’s 27 😖

you need to have a chat OP - don’t let it go on too long, as too much resentment on either side might end up spilling over and causing a real rift.

Actually they are both adults!

She's 27. She needs to get used to paying her way, its part of life. Set a rent - if you don't need it, set it aside for her deposit when she finds a place.

She's not a house guest if living with you while working full-time. She's too old to be treated like one of the kids. She's house sharing - and should be responsible for her own cooking/ laundry/ shopping/ cleaning.

Has she been able to make friends her own age? - that would help a lot. If it's hard to socialise after work with the commute, maybe suggest she stays over the odd night.

.., and then talk to her directly obviously -

I just mean give her parents a heads up first, so if she panics they manage that not you

Well you are the adult here.

Call her parents, say it’s time for her to move on. She’s not being v pro-active (busy with job etc) so they need to support. Give them a month (but assume it might be 6 weeks)

You need to give her decent notice because you didn’t set any limits in the first place

Talk to her.

Talk to her, tell her she needs to sort her attitude out.

Maybe she's home sick?

Simple, talk to her. Set boundaries. You needn't be taken for a mug. If setting boundaries is 'paying the kids some pocket money' for board it doesn't sound very serious.

Set a certain amount for rent. Even if you put it into kids savings. Make a cleaning Rota.
Organise her her own food cupboard and fridge shelf and she buys her own food and drink. Not like milk and bread but if she wants anything specific she buys.
She cooks dinner twice a week.
Ask her for a timescale of when she expects to start looking for her own place.
Offer to help her with this.
Ask her why she's so distant and offer to support her.

I like this.

Have you spoken to your sibling/the parent?

Sit her down and have a talk. Tell her she doesn't seem happy and as a result is not easy to live with. Ask her what her plans are. If she hasn't got a plan help her make one. Do you think she might want to return to her home country but is afraid to admit defeat?

I get that. But it might give her the kick up the bum to do something without having to say she’s miserable and you want her to move out.

you could also Chuck in a few house rules about being pleasant while you’re at it.

DN, you must be so tired from that commute, have you seen this for to rent 5 mins walk from the office? Shall we go and look at it at the weekend?

I would go with being firm but supportive.

something like “DN you’re welcome to stay as I know that it must be hard moving to new country, but if you’re going to be here long term then as you are working and you’ll have to contribute to the household finances and chores. Or If you are ready to get your own place I’d be happy to help you look for somewhere”

no point seething silently.