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Original poster

Argument over child's snack

62 replies

Alwayshungry88 · 28/06/2023 19:17

This sounds absolutely stupid writing it down but DH and I have just had a massive row over me giving our 8 year old a snack!

So today was our 8 year olds sports day, they also had an after school sports club so busy day.

Picked them up at 430 ish, came home and had some work to finish before dinner so gave them a biscuit (think plain digestive) worked for another hour then did dinner

Dh is on nights and dc had gone up to see them between snack and dinner. He had then had a massive go at me for giving dc a snack before dinner. Should point out that dc ate all of their dinner and dessert so its not like they didn't eat everything they should have!

The argument here also isn't they should have had something healthier, its that they shouldn't have had anything before dinner. Which I can see the point but not sure it's worth the huge argument we have just had about it which has now resulted in DH storming off to another room!

OP posts:
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NadjaCravensworth1 · 28/06/2023 22:58

Insane. He sounds like a complete drag.

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/06/2023 22:48

Your problem isn't the snack. Your problem is your husband. He sounds awful

Keeeeetones · 28/06/2023 22:39

Yanbu, He is NOT a good person for ds to be around

OhComeOnFFS · 28/06/2023 22:38

Why are the biscuits in the house, then? When would you all be allowed to have one? You wouldn't have one for a meal, so it would have to be as a snack before a meal.

ThursdayFreedom · 28/06/2023 22:31

Itstime1 · 28/06/2023 21:47

I think you were great for just giving 1 biscuit! My 15m DD will happily demolish 2 (one for each hand!) biscuits whilst she watches me make her dinner 😂

In all seriousness though that’s really bad behaviour from your DH. Control on that level isn’t normal and you need to find the root cause of it OP for your own sake x

@Itstime1 when
i was about 5 the lovely lady next door was always apologising for for her tin of broken biscuits. Her two year old had to have one for each hand so she snapped them all in half!!

@Alwayshungry88 that's not even a 'snack' that's just a biscuit !!

one biscuit between a school lunch & dinner will barely touch the sides!

WTF does he think he is to berate you for giving your child a bloody biscuit???

I think you need to have a goid think about if you're happy living with him, or not.

life's too short!!

SoftSheen · 28/06/2023 22:25

YANBU at all. My (slim) 8 year old would probably have had two digestives, a banana and a glass of milk in this scenario. Growing, active children need plenty of food!

KnownByAssociation · 28/06/2023 22:20

You are obviously not BU at all and I agree it's quite a small snack really but I work nights and they make you so bloody grouchy (especially towards the end of my run of them) if it's a one off please don't jump to him being a controlling arse. He could just be absolutely knackered, doesn't excuse his attitude but may explain it a little.

Bloodyleaverspartybollocks · 28/06/2023 22:15

My DD 10 makes herself a pot noodle after school so she doesn't starve to death before I make her tea

jojo2202 · 28/06/2023 22:14

i find it abit worrying your child is going from lunch time until 6.30 with only a digestive biscuit inbetween

jelly79 · 28/06/2023 22:12

Surely an 8 year old can grab a biscuit without permission anyway so what would dad do then?

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2023 22:07

Most children have snacks between meals. My dd did and still does. She’s 14. Your ds is going to be really miserable as he reaches the teen years with a father like this. Boys need an inordinate amount of calories.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 28/06/2023 22:04

Your H sounds neurotic, controlling and abusive.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 28/06/2023 22:02

Your dh need to learn how to control his control issues, not subject his issues on to his family to manage his behaviour impulses.

You need to start standing up for your ds and yourself, he does not get to dictate your lives because of his controlling impulses.

For me I’d be giving him an ultimatum, learn to manage them or leave.

Sceptre86 · 28/06/2023 21:52

Mine are 5 and 7 and have at least 2 snacks before their dinner between 5-5.30pm. Sometimes it's fruit, followed by crisps, sometimes it's crackers and houmous or mini packets of oreos etc. To me it's an overreaction but then I would question why he needs dessert after dinner? To each their own. You know your child better than randomers on the Internet. Could there be anything else going on with your dh because it just sounds like such a disproportionate response?

yosj · 28/06/2023 21:50

This is such an unhealthy environment for your child to grow up in. I'd seriously be re-evaluating the marriage.

Out of interest did your child say anything?

Itstime1 · 28/06/2023 21:47

I think you were great for just giving 1 biscuit! My 15m DD will happily demolish 2 (one for each hand!) biscuits whilst she watches me make her dinner 😂

In all seriousness though that’s really bad behaviour from your DH. Control on that level isn’t normal and you need to find the root cause of it OP for your own sake x

Thoughtful2355 · 28/06/2023 21:44

My 2 kids get a snack plate after school and before dinner and still eat all the dinner. Most kids eat SOMETHING before dinner I would presume unless other circumstances happen.

Sometimes I even get them McDonald's before dinner :O shocker!!!

MadCattery · 28/06/2023 21:44

I get home from work at 4:30, dinner around 6:00 and I need a small snack to tide me over! My DS is grown and has his own home and does the same. Tell your DH it’s healthier to maintain blood sugar by eating small amounts throughout a day.

Sigmama · 28/06/2023 21:33

So he thinks he's the boss, and you should his bidding?

caringcarer · 28/06/2023 21:33

PinkyFlamingo · 28/06/2023 20:51

Again this is not about a single biscuit, its raising a child in a controlling atmosphere and will only get worse. Your son will grow up emotionally damaged if you stay with this man, I have no idea why people put up with this.

I agree this is not about a stupid biscuit but about your DH controlling everything. I could not live with a man like this. I'd be giving the child biscuits in the car so DH did not see them. After sports like swimming or playing cricket my child is always starving so I keep breakfast bars in my car and he takes a banana too. He's not overweight. My DH offers him a snack when he arrives home too.

electriclight · 28/06/2023 21:29

It is such a trivial thing to get cross about that I wonder whether he is stressed about something else - dc's weight or behaviour, money/job, your relationship?

When he's calm, discuss what the real issue is because it can't possibly be a single biscuit. Surely he can see that a 75 calorie biscuit is fine between lunch and dinner.

SamW98 · 28/06/2023 21:26

PinkyFlamingo · 28/06/2023 20:51

Again this is not about a single biscuit, its raising a child in a controlling atmosphere and will only get worse. Your son will grow up emotionally damaged if you stay with this man, I have no idea why people put up with this.

Absolutely agree. This is about much more than one biscuit.

Nanny0gg · 28/06/2023 21:24

Alwayshungry88 · 28/06/2023 20:31

So dh has control issues and this is just one of the things we have argued about recently that I think he is over reacting on but I genuinely am so worn down by it all I thought I coukd be unreasonable even though I was sure I wasn't

For reference dc is tall for their age and their weight is normal, no dietary requirements at all so that's not a concern. Dh just doesn't like dc having snacks before dinner and when I try and say they had lunch at 12 ish and then would have to go until 530 until dinner he seems to think that's fine and any form of snack is off limits

Didn't mean to sound conspicuous about the biscuit type, it was just a plain biscuit

I think a snack would be normal and would push dinner back to 6 personally

Your husband is an idiot

CaroleSinger · 28/06/2023 20:57

Go and sit in his room and eat the whole packet in silence then walk out.

MrsElsa · 28/06/2023 20:54

What was DH logic / reasoning for not giving snack?

Batshit imo

People need food