Thoughts on teacher’s comment

It’s a weird comment from a teacher.
the comment might have been “why not try and do the work her rather than messing around ? If you take it home you’ll be tempted to ask your mum to answer the questions for you but I don’t think you need that help, I think you can get it done here, so have a go” … perhaps?

Ask the teacher if she has suggestions how dd can keep up in class and how you could help coach her to be less disruptive.

also check with the teacher she doesn’t mind you support dds learning at home.

This wouldn't bother me if it was said in a jokey way...when I was in primary school there were people who never really got their work done, just messed around chatting and always tried to copy off other people etc (not saying your dd does this) and this is the sort of thing teachers would say to them if they asked to bring work home, but it was in a friendly way. Didn't mean they actually thought the mum would do the work for them! It just meant that they thought the child wasn't bothered to do the work then and there, they were procrastinating. Also, it was common knowledge who got their work done and who didn't...it wasn't that the teacher named and shamed them but when you're all in a small room together every day, you just know these things. You'd see who went up to get early finisher work, or the teacher would ask 'hands up who's finished..hands up who's still working?' if she was judging how much more time to give to a particular task. And if someone was messing around or daydreaming they'd definitely be told to get on with their work and other children notice things like that!

Maybe the teacher specifically wanted to see your DD tackle a particular bit of work to judge how she is doing. DD wanted to do it at home instead so teacher probably said something like I want to see you do it by yourself, which other children extrapolated to so your mother doesn't do it. Or perhaps she did say I want to make sure you attempt it without help. It's difficult to judge progress if you don't know how much help was given.

Storm in a teacup I think.

You’re taking the word of two 7/8 year olds as gospel, of course you’re being unreasonable 😂

Who says she’s not trying? I didn’t read anything in the op that suggested her daughter has behaviour issues either. But of course some teachers do believe that kids not meeting their teachers work targets is a ‘behaviour issue’ I guess. Those darn SEN kids bringing your stats down, I can see how that’s frustrating for you. But yes, the magic EHCP that fixes everything. All you have to do is beg on your knees for one for years and eventually you may actually get your child approved for one. You may actually be lucky enough to find a mainstream school that takes it seriously as well…

My teachers said shit like this to me (actually usually far more unpleasant because it was decades ago now) and I felt like the biggest fool in the world. I had undiagnosed adhd. I wasn’t stupid or lazy but I’ve spent a lifetime struggling with those feelings. Be on her side. (I know you are but other posters would clearly have you dismiss her because she’s a child) My life would be very different now had my parents or other (less evil) teachers had believed me.

I meant that because I’m a teacher she would understand that I would know that doing work for a student isn’t a learning technique.

I don't really agree, I bet there are loads of teachers who help their kids, and loads of non-teachers who don't. But I appreciate it's not really the main point of your OP.

Yes this

Did you miss the fact I teach a number of ADHD kids as well?

EVERY child should be TRYING to work. Whether they are succeeding or not.

No child will succeed all the time. But if your struggling all the time you should be having an EHCP.

Low expectations for behaviour shouldn't be automatically accepted because there is SN

I'd want to follow up too. Less so because I took what the kids said as gospel, and repeated in the way its intended but because:

• DD offering to complete work at home sounds like she's struggling, aware of that and trying to come up with coping strategies
• The others kids seem aware of her productivity and its not clear how based off that remark
• The comment could be a joke or misconstrued but given the two points above this can't help her confidence even if that is the case

Basically, I'd use it to push for more in class support and a review whilst her assessment is underway

@Gerrataere Sorry I probably didn't word that very well, there are obviously a whole host of reasons why different DC struggle at school without it just being a case of them being 'naughty' but most neurotypical 8 year olds won't be aware of this but they will be aware of the identity of children who need extra support in class or struggle to follow instructions etc, especially if it's a single class per year of very mixed ability kids

With all due respect, having a child with adhd doesn’t mean you understand. The very fact that you say (paraphrasing) that having the condition doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be trying to get in with her work shows me that you do lack understanding in this particular case. My sibling had adhd and I was very obvious undiagnosed, our mother absolutely did not grasp what it actually meant in terms of coping in the classroom.

Am I right in thinking you are basing this on the words of a child you have never met before and don't know anything about. The child sounds like they may have issues with boundaries if they feel its appropriate or okay to say this to an adult they don't know. Sound like a CF. And you should know better, support your own child.

No problem, believe me I’ve had to write a million of these emails over the last few years. I hope you get to the bottom of it and your daughter gets better support going forward.

You're a teacher so have had the relevant training to know that children gossiping about other children is nothing to do with safeguarding.

What the child said to you may be true. It may not. You'll need to ask the teacher. As others have said, and as you know yourself, it will be better to ask if the teacher thinks tour daughter shouldn't bring work home because it's believed you do the work for her and ask, if it's untrue, where the teacher got that idea from.

I have a DD with it and a DS who is also technically diagnosed with it. I also teach a significant number of kids with it....

Clearly I know nothing 🙄🤣🤣🤣

I was always aware who the naughty or less hard working kids were in my primary class whether I sat with them or not

Adhd is not ‘naughtiness’ nor is it working ‘less hard’. In fact people with adhd have brains that are running at a far higher speed and processing far more information that someone who is neurotypical. Most people with adhd have high intelligence but a disability that makes active productivity extremely difficult.