Management Aibu?

You are their manager, not their friend. Sometimes you will have to make decisions that are not popular, so it helps to remember that. You can be friendly and have good relationships but if you are asked to pick someone to fire from your team, you'll have to do so.

Not everyone can work at your pace, read the appraisals of your team. Know who is good at what so you get the best out of them.

As this is a new team, you set the expectations. What you except, how you will work etc.

Poor performance cannot be allowed to slide. It is awkward but you must tackle it head on from the outset. Find out why the issue is occurring. The person could be having personal issues that is affecting their work however you always get piss takers who will test you to see how little they can get away with. You have to strongly crack down on them.

If you have someone who works to rule, you treat them the same way. They get only the bare minimum back if they give the bare minimum to the team.

Don't be a dickhead. Everyone hates managers like that....

It's all about balance. I had a member of staff who spent most of their day on a fag break however they did twice the amount of work of their team mates every single day. Take time to get to know your team.

I’m not a manager and hope I never will be (it’s not me) but I’ve had a few.

The best ones are the ones that listen and quickly react to support you in your job. They’re also friendly but boundaries

loggong on a few minutes late? Does it matter ? Is your job time critical like needing to man phones from 9am so being late will affect that? Surely you’ll notice patterns- like some people are consistently 10 minutes late then yup maybe it needs a mention- maybe there’s a reason for it? Maybe their hours need changing if they’re finding it tricky to get back from school run.

I mean if you’re a high achiever you can’t expect everyone to be the same can you? Surely performance is judged on the job role and expectations.

Don't ignore the critical comments but that doesn't mean you need to agree with them.

A very important part of leading people is being able to critically assess yourself, request and accept feedback, seek out improvement opportunities.

When you have a difficult conversation for example, you need to reflect afterwards:

• did you cover everything that needed to be covered
• did you respond appropriately to maintain control of the conversation and stop it getting heated
• were you and the other person able to reach a common understanding
• did you both leave knowing what the next steps would be

Being able to constructively assess yourself will allow you to develop your leadership skills.

To add I first became a manager of a team at 27. I had no experience or training either. I'm now (some years later) a chief executive.

Read books
Listen to management podcasts
Go looking for training for yourself and don't expect it just to be provided by work.
Find a mentor or coach
Join the professional body for your profession or sector

@honeycookies

Think more about how to lead, encourage and get the best out of people and less about whether to tell people off for logging on to zoom late.

The first will make you a great people leader and develop a high performing team. The latter will make a micromanaging mediocrity.

Have a read of this

Rules of Management: A Definitive Code for Managerial Success amzn.eu/d/dhAbNjX

It's very readable and focuses on good l people leadership

Oh and ignore the comments you're getting on here saying you're not ready. You're obviously ready or you wouldn't have got the job! Everyone who manages has to start somewhere, and all you've done is ask for some advice. If you end up hating it once you're doing the job then thats something I'm sure you'll recognise and act on, rather than people on MN telling you you're not ready 🤣

Manage each situation differently. For example I had a lazy fucker on my team who needed virtually micromanaging (which I hate doing) but I got nothing out of him if I wasn't checking in, seeing where he was up to, making sure he was going to meet deadlines constantly. I had other people who I could trust with my life and wouldn't have cared if they were a few mins late as their work was everything I needed and more. Focus on what you are getting out of them, rather than which boxes they are ticking for timekeeping etc. Be flexible but firm. Set deadlines and stick to them.

I ask my team to do stuff I can’t do all the time….it’s not my job to do their job and they can do it so much better than I can - and in plenty of places I wouldn’t even know where to start.

I focus on the outcome NOT the output. So it doesn’t matter how/what they do as long as it’s the right outcome.

Oh and you need to finely balance the pressure from higher management to deliver results against the stress levels of your team. Stand up for your team and try and be visible when you do this, your team will appreciate this and help gain their trust.

Although working remote it might be difficult to make this visible.

Agree with this but its not unreasonable to benchmark to those of same experience including standards set by you and your colleagues in the past.

At 26 you don't have much experience to go on. If no role models ASK for a supporter at a more senior grade to coach and advise you.

Obviously no swearing and screaming at people is a given.

Don't expect people to be as motivated or proactive as you.

Do check in with people. Tell them you have no wish to micromanage but until you both get used to the dynamic then you will provide more support with the intention of easing off and empowering them towards a greater degree of independence.

Set deadlines, Tell people how long you expect things to take, ask where promised things are if not supplied, be understanding when it is possible, leniency at all times except when you need something done quickly. Make it clear that as long as things get done you're going to give leeway so that on the odd occasion you need someone to go above and beyond they are not burnt out from overperforming when it doesn't matter.

Don't expect people to read your mind.

Presumably you're still reporting to some else so take your lead from them about priorities.

In no particular order except for the first and last one.

• Set expectations and support them to meet them
• Don’t be afraid of the tough conversations
• Don’t be afraid of letting the team find ways to do things. It may not be the way you’d do it but if it gets the same results let crack on
• Explain decisions to give context, but don’t do it for justification
• Don’t be surprised when your day goes to hell because of an employee issue.
• Maintain appropriate boundaries, you’re not their friend or coworker you are their boss.
• Listen to them. They’ll have good ideas
• Don’t be afraid to admit something isn’t working… ‘Whelp, we gave that idea a go but we need to rethink. What can we learn from the experience’
• You are going to make mistakes.. dust yourself off and learn from it
• Have fun.. managing is great fun and a good challenge, learn to enjoy the craziness it can be!

Logging on late. Do they have to take a phone line? Or any particular task at their start time? If yes then it is something you need to pick up on, whereas if they have no immediate responsibility after logging on then let it slide.

However if they are taking the piss and starting 5 minutes late most days but then clocking off on the dot then you need to gently correct their timekeeping. Otherwise everybody will be at it.

What is unreasonable and what is not? You should only ask them to do tasks that are in their job description and that you would be willing to do yourself. If they do not want to go above and beyond then that is fine so long as they are doing the baseline job required of them.

The main thing I’ve always tried to stick to is:

1. Are they doing the job they need to do (and it’s clear what that job is?)
2. Are they doing the job in a way that works for the company (e.g. not pissing people off)

if both of those are true I don’t worry about hours/logging on and let people manage their own time/ways of working. Remember we’re all grown ups here…

When managing other people I saw my job as being to ensure that they were working to the best of their ability. That doesn’t mean worrying what time they get into the office, but finding out if there is some underlying problem. I also made a point of pushing people to address their own weaknesses eg tendency to be too timid to take on slightly different pieces of work or to react badly to external criticism without considering if it’s valid. It’s different for each person.

I returned to the workforce at 58 and I loved my young manager. She was extremely professional and thoughtful about how she approached her job. She was the intermediary between us service people (clinicians/therapists) and managers higher up in the agency. She was in training to be a clinician herself but she respected her troops and we felt she tried to protect us from upper management’s crazy demands. The thing that made her great at her job was, as it turns out, early training as the maitre d’ at a busy restaurant. She was unflappable and able to quickly size up a crisis situation and triage things in terms of work assignments. I did not regard her as my superior—and in education or therapeutic skill she wasn’t. But I respected her professionalism and her respect for the work we were doing. (Therapy, medication, snd care for psychotic and homeless mentally ill people.)

Oh, and congrats on your new role!

making sure you are transparent and fair will build their trust in you.

Do some research on high quality conversations so you can up your knowledge adapting your style.

Demonstrate and role model the Civil Service Code and your departmental values.

Look at the main HR policies you will need to apply from time to time - attendance management, performance management, annual leave, flexi time and WLB, Workplace Adjustment Passport.

Make the time and diarise their one to ones with you.

Reward and recognise good performance.

Remember to listen , rather than hear.
Work out if what was said to you needs sympathy and kindness/ leniency or resolution.
Realise that what is happening to your member of staff is maybe huge in their life, try to respect that when you deal with it, even if it makes eg:rotas a headache.

Respect works both ways.

Be kind and sympathetic but stick to the rules and protocols of your business that way you won’t get stung.
Came into management straight out of uni with no clue. Nigh on 30 years later I love what I do , but there will always be challenges…that’s why you do it!

and be patient, as it does take a bit longer to take things on board as you get older.

you consider yourself a decent manager and you come out with utter shite like that?! Give your head a wobble, love.

Don't micro manage every single aspect of their work - it's shit having every single thing including your email
signature criticised - mine was I put 'and' and not '&' - I've since changed it back to 'and' - a little win