A question for sober people...

Have you read glorious rock bottom by Bryony Gordon? That might help.

A parent I knew drank very heavily and suffocated not one, but two of her babies while comatose.

It was horrific to watch, and she didn't stop drinking.

I was a drinker, but I genuinely lost all taste for it after that.

I have been AF a few times and this time 2 months and so head strong that this is the place for me!

There is so much available now to support you in knowing that you gain so much from an AF life rather than it being about what you are giving up!

Check out the teetotal trainer on Instagram - he is great x

I read somewhere that stopping excessive drinking is primarily an act of self love. That puts a positive spin on it.

I think I was lucky in that I developed a severe distaste for alcohol very early on.

Op, please don't give up hope. It's early days but you're doing super well. Other people have mentioned counselling and the AA, please look into those. They will help you deal with the reasons why you drink and help you over come them. Good luck.

Definitely go to some AA meetings - try different ones as they are all slightly different.
If you keep going regularly, you will make friends with the people there.

I got really pissed for the millionth time in my life. I went to bed at 6am and spent the day in bed, either still drunk or hungover. I was vomiting until night time and couldn't look after my kids. I was overcome with a huge, heavy sense of tiredness with the cycle of binge drinking and hangovers. I just felt so worn out. I was so sickened that I stopped drinking for a few months. Every time I would try to have a few drinks, I would get sick and be unwell the next day, even after 2 drinks. Eventually I cut it out completely and have never looked back. I love being teetotal and the freedom it brings. Toxic drinking is a ball and chain around your neck. Sobriety is freedom. I never, ever miss it!

I was teetotal until late 30s.
Slowly started to look forward to a drink to unwind to give my brain a rest from anxiety.
In lockdown I decided to do dry jan as I didn't drink much but wanted to be in control.
It was weird at first.But I did it through support on here.
Someone suggested getting to Easter and that was it.
Best thing ever as my skin is better.
I've only had a couple of drinks since 2021.

Ive never been a heavy drinker so probably not relevant to this thread: but my mum died and I realised I could either continue down the path of comforting myself with food and booze or I could look after myself as best I could to keep my mind clear and stable as possible. It’s really helped me. I haven’t drink since the funeral and I didn’t realise how much alcohol clouds your clarity even if you’re just a two bottles of wine a week which I was.

it honestly makes such a difference to your mental functioning. I’m convinced I would have been in a terrible mental state if hasn’t quit.

I have also been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, the alcohol was an absolute crutch. I just didn't know it.

Honestly? There wasn't one. I wasn't even aware of how bad it had got. The drinking, the inappropriate messaging, the loss of ability to function well. I stopped one day when I was ill, part hangover, part virus. I wasn't able to drink. Then I got a couple of days in and realised I had done the hardest part without even realising it. Decided to try for a week, then a month. After that month i no longer has a fuzzy head and had a lot more energy, so decided never to drink again. It was at least 4/5 years last when it hit me how awful and problematic my drinking had been.

You are in a better starting position than I was, you recognise the problem. Go to that meeting. You deserve it, you can do it.

Alcohol (a depressant) makes Depression worse.

I should add that I'm not sober myself but naturally have a wariness towards alcohol as I have seen first hand the destruction it can cause.

Your username has struck a chord with me. I know that song and it's so, so sad.

You are on the right path. You are doing the right thing. Believe in yourself.

You're way more than a toy that people enjoy. You are your own woman❤️

There seem to be a few alcohol threads at the moment and they always jump out to me as I grew up with an alcoholic mother. She did and does drink every day so different to yourself in that respect but like you her behaviour when drunk was very different from her normal personality. It truly brought out the worst in her. Often sexual behaviour with men but also aggressive and abusive behaviour towards family members, paranoia that seemed to come from nowhere etc. I think identifying you have a problem is a huge first step and as awful as it sounds having those negative associations with alcohol will really help you give up. If it is only bringing pain and shame to your life and you have no dependency on it then it will be a shift in mindset rather than actual withdrawal. AA meetings sound like a great start but I'd also confide in someone you know and trust. You'll be amazed by how supportive people can be. I wish you the best of luck. Alcohol and addiction can be ugly, ugly things.

Same as a pp, my parents owned a pub, put me right off it did.
When I was about 29, I had so much vodka I threw up twice and my next day was wasted on feeling ill.

That was that, I have never drunk since.
Hang in there op, you'll feel better for it.

I can highly recommend the Alcohol support board on here too. There are some really great supportive communities over on those boards.

Best of luck ☀️

celebrate every win with you !! Freudian slip, or what?! 😂

I would recommend counselling op. Look at the underlying issues.

I'd have said sober life looked boring. Now I think drunk life does. I do and achieve so much more with my time!

Being sober does feel sort of flat and empty at first. I'm not sure why - I could explain it for myself, but everyone has a different reason for using so you'd expect people to feel differently about being clean. It wears off: that is, you get used to having all those extra 'empty' hours and finally figure out that you can do stuff in that time without being drunk 😄

I went to rehab - long story, but it was an incredibly helpful experience. I followed up with 8 months of meetings, then relapsed for a while, then achieved my goal of only drinking a bit, sometimes, without needing to cane it. I'm not particularly recommending this; it's actually easier to not drink alcohol at all.

Meetings are worth doing, imo. The Steps are a decent life model and, though I no longer go to meetings, often review where I'm at with them. The vast majority of English meetings make the god part completely optional, there's no pressure to say stuff you don't believe in.

I was in London, where there's a huge number of meetings so I could choose the ones I liked best. If there's a choice where you live, try a few out. DON'T write it off as not for you after your first one or two! It obviously feels weird at first. It's interesting to hear other people's stories of how they're coping (or not) and some members are fantastic speakers. Once you get the hang of them, it's really great to be able to tell the truth and chew over your worries with others who get why it's difficult. Good meetings will provide plenty of tips, tricks & tools to get you through tough times - and will celebrate every wine with you, however small.

Congrats on Day Two! Just one more day ...

I was so ill. So, so ill. Getting myself in the shower in the morning involved a long grind of getting enough alcohol in me to stop withdrawal enough to barely stand long enough to shower. Throwing back up the first drinks until eventually I'd topped up enough to appear like a normal human.

I watched people coming out of Costa so happy with their fancy drinks and I wanted that life instead.

My dad is an alcoholic and so is my exh. I had had a bad relationship with alcohol for years and done dangerous things as a result. When I was in my 30s I took a sip of wine in a restaurant and just decided that I didn't want to drink any more. It's been 4 years now.

No major drama for me but I was slowly coming to the realisation that actually, I couldn't stop when I wanted to and that I had lost control of my drinking. And if I didn't sort it out id lose control over everything else.

I went to an AA meeting the next day and met such wonderful people who were just like me. They hardly mentioned drinking - just talked a lot about their thoughts / feelings / stresses / anger but mainly about how they'd turned their life and their attitude around completely.

I was hooked and started going to 5-6 meetings a week and am 9 years sober now. Still go twice a week and have some incredible friendships in the fellowship

I just reached a point where I had to acknowledge that drinking was taking precedence over other things in my life, I was hiding my drinking from my partner, who still has no idea, and it had to stop.

Fourteen months on, it's still a work in progress, but I'm getting there.

Gradual, but realised that the fun from drinking was no longer worth it and starting to have such a bad impact on my health.
I also realised that whenever I imagined the fantasy me (slim gorgeous, holding down a high powered job whilst being amazing at music and sport) she was always sober. Isn’t that weird. So I might not do any of the other fantasy things but I don’t drink. Life is much better.