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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD in shorts

95 replies

ostwest · 22/06/2023 10:01

13yo DD's school has sports' week. As the weather is warm (SE England), she's been wearing shorts to school. This morning DH (her dad) had a go at her for wearing it 'all week' and how short they are- she has 2 pirs, so not been wearing same. I normally berate my DD for wearing her school skirt too short, but this time had to defend her. Yes, the cycling-style cotton shorts ride-up a bit, but I see every other young girl having the same 'problem'. DD had skort, but she hates it and I don't think it's good in this weather as it is synthetic.
AIBU to think it's not 100% ok, but there is no alternative and she can walk to school in 'short' shorts. The shorts come to maybe 1/3 of her thighs.

OP posts:
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Daisybuttercup12345 · 23/06/2023 00:10

Is your DH a Victorian?
He should not be commenting on her body and taking her confidence away.
I would be angry over this.

Boomboxinmyattic · 22/06/2023 20:47

ReachForTheMars · 22/06/2023 19:53

Its notnprotecting hsindaughter, its conditioning her to conform to Male-imposed modesty standards.

If noone wore short shorts, then shorts would become the problem. If noone wore shorts, capris would become the problem etc. Across the world there are women conforming to male standards if modesty to be a "good girl".

The best way to protect his daughter is to speak his mind when leery mates comment on womens bodies and to actually be a womans advocate and not go along with banter and to stand up for his daughters right to wear what she wants and know her wirth and know that a man leering over her is the problem.

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Exactly! To Victorians, a glimpse of a woman's ankle was titillating. In the 1920s, short hair on a woman was seen as daring. It's not the item of clothing, it's the attitude to female bodies. OP, stand up for your daughter and tell your man to wise up.

Hankunamatata · 22/06/2023 20:40

Nope dc friends (I have boys) - they are running shorts, nike branded.

SparkyBlue · 22/06/2023 20:17

My ten year old is finishing up for the holidays this week and they have had no uniform for the past fortnight. All the girls are wearing cycling shorts I can't see the issue at all.

ReachForTheMars · 22/06/2023 19:53

SnackSizeRaisin · 22/06/2023 17:26

Unfortunately that's the reality though isn't it. Not just old men but all men . Not sure why you think only old men are interested in sex.
Men are very visually motivated and very sex orientated. That's just biology. Civilised men won't act on their reactions to a skimpily clad teenager. But they will still look and notice. The child's father obviously knows what men are like and wants to protect his daughter.

Show quote history

Its notnprotecting hsindaughter, its conditioning her to conform to Male-imposed modesty standards.

If noone wore short shorts, then shorts would become the problem. If noone wore shorts, capris would become the problem etc. Across the world there are women conforming to male standards if modesty to be a "good girl".

The best way to protect his daughter is to speak his mind when leery mates comment on womens bodies and to actually be a womans advocate and not go along with banter and to stand up for his daughters right to wear what she wants and know her wirth and know that a man leering over her is the problem.

ReachForTheMars · 22/06/2023 19:49

I think it's weird that you think you can define her skirt as too short but her dad cant.

FWIW I think it's her choice and you should leave her to it where that's concerned. School will soon raise any issues. Buy her more shorts.

LlynTegid · 22/06/2023 19:44

There's a difference between something that looks awful and whether you should object/intervene when your DD or DS is wearing said awful clothing. I don't think they are shorts for intervening/objecting.

Quiverer · 22/06/2023 19:40

Namechange1345677 · 22/06/2023 18:33

Personally think they arnt appropriate for school....

Clearly the school thinks they are, so your views are hardly relevant.

RampantIvy · 22/06/2023 19:05

Sirzy · 22/06/2023 18:35

unless the school uniform specifically says no cycling shorts then I can’t see why they wouldn’t be appropriate

I agree, but no school round here would allow those as part of the uniform. Although the girls wear skirts that are so short that those shorts look like a better option.

Sirzy · 22/06/2023 18:35

unless the school uniform specifically says no cycling shorts then I can’t see why they wouldn’t be appropriate

Namechange1345677 · 22/06/2023 18:33

Personally think they arnt appropriate for school....

darkmodeon · 22/06/2023 18:29

Those are absolutely fine

Original poster
ostwest · 22/06/2023 18:24

The 'offending' shorts Confused Except, they have cotton in them. Can't find the exact ones she's got, but was bought in M&S and look very very similar

I have been browsing at M&S and found this: https://www.marksandspencer.com/cuffed-tapered-leg-joggers/p/clp22294376?intid=mobileappppdpshare

OP posts:
Changeling78 · 22/06/2023 18:18

If they are allowed under school uniform policy then I can’t see the issue. It’s just a pair of legs.

darkmodeon · 22/06/2023 18:15

It seems to be the fashion. One of the teens in my life needs at least a size up though. Make sure they are the right size or they look awful.

Original poster
ostwest · 22/06/2023 18:13

Hankunamatata · 22/06/2023 16:14

LOts of teen girls are wearing these shorts at the moment with t shirts

https://m.shein.co.uk/Tape-Waist-Skinny-Shorts-p-10690288-cat-1912.html?onelink=2%2F2nvpyczn5ftb&skucode=I4vpcro6r4oh&url_from=ukadplasw2204211132341110PetiteS_GPM&cid=17532770859&setid=&adid=&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4s-kBhDqARIsAN-ipH2A97Z-SJulDfLm9HSB5hOFBLtTo6iKuZ0JLyv9V0vEJyrRX0ZNbl8aAvrVEALw_wcB&ref=www&rep=dir&ret=m

Oh, no, not those! They are way too short, especially, for school.

OP posts:
Original poster
ostwest · 22/06/2023 18:10

Nussbaum · 22/06/2023 16:56

Your DH is the problem, not the shorts.
If my DH had come out with that shit, he would have been told to fuck off and sort his head out.

Without the f**, but kind of did that this morning Grin

OP posts:
Avondale89 · 22/06/2023 18:09

Well she’s had (what I assume) is her first taste of her clothes and body being policed and commented on, unfortunately it won’t be her last.

strawberrywhisk · 22/06/2023 17:59

OP had already described the shorts as thigh length, can't help but think you posted short shorts for a reason

Hankunamatata · 22/06/2023 17:48

How is it creepy. My teens friends are wearing those style shorts iv linked with t shirts.

ASGIRC · 22/06/2023 17:31

ostwest · 22/06/2023 11:11

The shorts only come to her mid-thigh and then ride up when she walks. She is v tall, but slim, so I have to buy her size 10 shorts.
Regarding her school uniform: she rolls up her 'normal length' school skirt, making it shorter. Apparently, 'everyone does it' at her school 🤷‍♀️

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Not gonna lie, I did that to my skirts as well. Still do on some that are a bit too long for my taste. Im 40!! LOL

SnackSizeRaisin · 22/06/2023 17:26

taybert · 22/06/2023 16:04

@Bobbielikespeas the problem is that it gives girls the message that they are responsible for the men perving on them.

Unfortunately that's the reality though isn't it. Not just old men but all men . Not sure why you think only old men are interested in sex.
Men are very visually motivated and very sex orientated. That's just biology. Civilised men won't act on their reactions to a skimpily clad teenager. But they will still look and notice. The child's father obviously knows what men are like and wants to protect his daughter.

CatsOnTheChair · 22/06/2023 17:23

If her bum cheeks and knickers are covered, I'd take it as a win in my schoool this week.

SnackSizeRaisin · 22/06/2023 17:13

Boomboxinmyattic · 22/06/2023 12:01

To a Scandinavian, the whole "sexy school girl" trope is incomprehensible; children's bodies are not sexualised there.

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Lol at the naivety here. The sexy school girl thing is to do with uniform. I don't think school uniform is widely used in Scandinavia. However paedophilia is a worldwide problem.
Also a 13 y o is not a child from a sexual point of view. In many cultures worldwide they would traditionally be getting married around that age. Most 13 yo have started puberty.

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