Talking to the school tomorrow...

As some other posters have advised, it's probably worth making his teacher aware, whilst letting them know you're not asking them to deal with it; and to explain that you want them to know, in case it carries on in school.

That said, you need to speak to the parent, as well. Be neutral:

"Sorry, I don't know if you'd heard, but they had a set to and your Johnny grabbed my Tommy by the throat. Could you have a word? After all he's older and bigger than my boy... Thanks."

Most parents will want to know, even if some will say that their Johnny is far too well behaved to ever do that.

To the OP, good for your son standing up for himself against a couple of older boys. That's almost certainly all it will have taken to make them leave him alone and he has gained a valuable life lesson in courage and how to deal with bullies.

The last thing he needs now is his mum wading in and embarrassing him.

Have to say that this sounds like a lot of fuss about very little.

Some boys had a brief altercation in the park that resulted in a few punches being thrown and a red mark on a face or two. Hardly the rumble in the jungle.

Children, especially boys have a few scraps as they grow up, its nothing in of itself.

I'd tell them to stay away from each other and only look into taking things further if it continues to happen or becomes a bullying issue.

Actually cannot believe some people are suggesting you should call the Police! seriously...

a DC ACCUSED of strangling in the middle of a football argument. Not quite the same.

A similar thing happened to my son recently and I absolutely let the head teacher, my sons teacher and the other boys teacher know.
I wasn't requesting any action- we had already spoken to the boys parent and sorted everything out. I was letting the school know so they would be aware that this had happened and could keep and eye out if required.
The teachers were very supportive and I felt better as a parent that my son would be safe in school.

The OP said in their original post before your first post- im sure if you're a headteacher your reading comprehension must be okay!

I agree with letting the school know. My reasoning would be the level and method of the altercation - if it had have been two 7/8 year olds and a bit of a pushing etc - then I would have dealt with it at the time and left it.

But given the age difference and the hands on neck - that needs escalating and watching. My sons play GAA and hurling which can occasionally get "lively" but to be fair it tends to be pushing and others on the pitch always call it out.

You do know the children are all below the age of criminal responsibility right! How do you see this police report panning out? Do you think they are going to go an arrest a 9 year old?

Don't speak to the parents. Speak to school

I have made several posts explaining I would want to know and would support.Some people haven't read all I have to say.
It is break time and I am just checking in on the post incase anyone thinks I should be working.

I would let his teacher know. It might have shaken his confidence a bit, or he might go looking for revenge in the playground

It might be a good school assembly point to remind children about managing their anger while playing, especially with the heat and long evenings currently.

Obviously this is not a police matter. Kids scuffling briefly while playing in the park isn't criminal; it's a normal childhood experience.

And how brilliant it was that another child broke up the incident. That is also worth telling school about, because it's a great example to other kids.

Yep I concur.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to just make his form teacher aware but the school can’t actively get involved in things that happen out of school, unless it makes up part of a bigger picture that’s also occurs inside school, with bullying for example. Then the outside stuff forms part of a jigsaw with all the pieces having relevance.

We are in agreement! I’m simply saying that pp are not guilty of hyperbole when they are only
taking their cue from the OP herself.

Exactly. Which is why many posters told her that she should approach the police. In subsequent posts she downgraded it to a scuffle.

Just out of interest, how do you know it is hyperbole? OP said strangling in her post. Genuine question...

You could make them aware but the school has no jurisdiction over what happens out of school.

My approach is, if my workmate did it to me in the office what would I/anyone do? Clearly in an office, between adults (or at a hideous company team building sports event or something) it would be treated as assault, they'd be charged probably, police would be called asap, the person who did it would likely be fired.

So yea, police, immediately.

‘Strangling’ is taken directly from the OP though.

I agree it’s likely hyperbolic as she says there are no marks on the child’s neck but I have to say as an experienced senior leader in schools it would be a red flag if a child put their hands around another’s neck. As a pp said it is a learned behaviour and a much more serious incident than a typical playground scuffle.

Tell ds if this happens (being tripped up)
To leave and tell the adult (dgp)

"Standing up " to older bigger kids is not going to end well
Self defence courses teach you to remove yourself from a situation as first option

From OPs post that's what they're expecting from school though, just letting them know in case.

The OP doesn't want to 'complain' but to make the school aware:

I feel like this is something I should bring to the attention of the school since they all attend there and I do not want anything further to happen between DS and them

Surely where there's a risk of this crossing over into school it's good to at least be aware? Surely a quick conversation where you make it clear outside of school isn't your realm but you'll make the teachers aware is fine? Or is that too much effort? A child being strangled by another isn't exactly petty drama.

@RubyJack
You have nothing to apologize for, and your posts are professional and unemotional (contrary to the hyperbole of "strangling" etc from others)

Our kids are older (secondary) but I'm just wondering in what parallel universe a grandparent omitting to keep an eye on a child in a public place to the point that the child got into a fight/was strangled (depending on your point of view) becomes an internal matter for the school beyond, as you have said, a "thanks for letting us know" and, all other things being equal, a quick word to relevant class teachers (though of course the OP doesn't know who they are I presume).

I'm doing a safeguarding session on the 10th July with some NQTs. I might use this as an example and see what they come up with.

Your situation is totally different to the one in the OP and your son would have been totally supported.
We have supported children through situations like your son experienced.We have counselling available and appointed staff members to support too.
I was trying to say, obviously not very well ,that the falling out in the park type incidents are constant,time consuming and difficult to prove who did or said what if there are no adults present/supervising.
Any concerns the OP had would have been noted and her son would have a close eye kept on him
I don't really understand why parents won't have a conversation with another parent,unless that parent is known to be aggressive or dangerous.
I hope your son is doing well now.

That's the problem with the written word.
It can be interpreted in different ways.I felt your post was a attack on me but perhaps that wasn't your intention.
I am always available at the start and end of each day to speak to parents in the playground or privately if needed.
I am not unkind or unapproachable and believe me I know about everything that goes on in our area.
I offer support constantly in a variety of areas.
It has become extremely time consuming dealing with all the arguments from the evenings before ,particularly without witnesses.
We record it all,watch out for issues but no,I don't give out punishments for incidents with no witnesses like the case mentioned.
Each incident reported is dealt with individually and the one you mentioned would have been resolved swiftly.I.am sure there would have been evidence to make that possible.
Anyway, have a good evening...morning now I suppose.

@RubyJack

Thank goodness my kids don't go to your school.

You really do come across as disinterested.

Our som experienced online abuse from " friends " that reached the threshold of criminality.

It would have been so easy for school to distance themselves but they did the opposite. Actively supported our son and took such good care of him pastorally.

If they hadn't his mental health would have suffered badly. I will never be able to thank them enough for dealing with the situation. They kept him psychologically safe and didn't respond with "its not on our turf jack".