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Original poster

Couples & Night Out

55 replies

NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 06:55

Posting on behalf of sibling - Try to keep it brief
Couple A going on holiday, special occasion invited Couple B different accommodation, same destination - all booked months ago.
Couple C always go to same destination will be there also, they always go at this time, plans to celebrate together.
Couple A introduced Couples B & C to each other for the first time, half of Couple D present (this person knows everyone, however their partner has not met Couple C) - within 48 hrs Couple B has organised a night out with couples C&D
Couple A then receive an invite saying night out organised for X date, however they can't go - work related.
Response - Well we have already juggled dates, so going ahead without Couple A.
Couple A are upset, feel excluded as not even considered until after plans made & only just introduced others.
Couple A are also concerned about holiday as Couple D (who are very volatile) have been looking at prices - Couple A has not discussed/invited Couple D
So are Couple A being unreasonable ? Anyone can organise anything & go to a holiday destination at any time
Or Couples B&D for organising night out & looking to book on holiday

OP posts:
Mylandra · 20/06/2023 12:38

Woah so after all this, you and your sibling aren't even part of any of the couples that are going and have no involvement in it at all!?

Nanna50 · 20/06/2023 12:31

So you’re not going? Your siblings not going? Why are you posting?

StopFeckingFaffing · 20/06/2023 12:13

*their

StopFeckingFaffing · 20/06/2023 12:12

I find that really interesting, maybe because I have always had family & friends who work shifts I would always check with them for possible dates as they are the ones who are restricted. The same as I would check with those who might need to get a sitter.
Different way of looking at things I guess

It would depend on the occasion obviously. If its a big get together where you really want to make sure all parties are available then in that scenario there is no avoiding checking everyone's availability first before agreeing a date. If however it's more of an informal/ impromptu plan and not essential that everyone attends which is what this 'night out' sounds like then I don't think there is anything wrong with a couple of people making a plan and then inviting the wider group to join if they happen to be available.

Do couple A expect no one in there friendship circle to ever socialise unless they are free?

Cosyblankets · 20/06/2023 11:53

NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 09:52

😂
They are definitely not teenagers
Everyone is connected through the men & Couple A
A holiday with an argumentative couple (they argue with each other not others) could have repercussions for Couple A - I am not going to give specifics but I will say their concerns are very valid.
Couples A & B did not know that Couple C went there at that time when they booked - but no one is bothered by them
Couple A have not voiced any concerns to anyone other than my Sibling - who is innot going as she has school age children.
They do feel left out of the night out as they have only just introduced the others. Even though they were very concerned about Couple D & the holiday they haven't said anything as they did feel that anyone can holiday where they like 8but that doesn't stop them bein concerned)
I am surprised by the general consensus as we did feel it was a bit out of order to invite yourself to a celebration
And like the previous poster said a group What App to discuss dates would have been a fantastic idea.
However I will feed back the consensus,
Thanks everyone

I didn't mean discuss as in back and forth i meant
This is what we're doing if you'd like to join us

Original poster
NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 11:35

Love the name by the way.
I find that really interesting, maybe because I have always had family & friends who work shifts I would always check with them for possible dates as they are the ones who are restricted. The same as I would check with those who might need to get a sitter.
Different way of looking at things I guess

OP posts:
StopFeckingFaffing · 20/06/2023 10:44

If you want a night out and don't want to wait several months for it due to someone else's complicated work rota or social life it is a lot easier just to say 'we are going out on X date, it would be great if you can join us' rather than having a merry go round of whatsapp messages which results in a date being agreed for April 2024!

Original poster
NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 10:16

@Horizabel I don't where that you got there was any kind of issue with someone being there on their own.
I referred to couples as it kept it to 4 groups , it would have been more confusing to discuss 8 people separately.
The person who wasn't there has never met Couple C.
Like I say they haven't said anything to anyone involved & never would but they are the only couple that work weekends think nurse/Dr so to myself & my sibling it seemed odd to sort a date then ask them & also xxodd to invite yourself to a celebration m without being asked

OP posts:
Horizabel · 20/06/2023 09:59

Couple A are drama queens who think they get some kind of friendship seniority status because they were the ones who introduced everyone else, and that they need to included as the lynchpins. Alas for them, they don't get to be the friendship or holiday destination police.

The couple-ishness of all of this is slightly weirding me out -- describing 'half of couple D' being at some social gathering makes it sound like something integral was temporarily and abnormally divided in half for the evening. If this is the norm for some people's social lives, no wonder the single/divorced have a thin time.

Original poster
NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 09:52

😂
They are definitely not teenagers
Everyone is connected through the men & Couple A
A holiday with an argumentative couple (they argue with each other not others) could have repercussions for Couple A - I am not going to give specifics but I will say their concerns are very valid.
Couples A & B did not know that Couple C went there at that time when they booked - but no one is bothered by them
Couple A have not voiced any concerns to anyone other than my Sibling - who is innot going as she has school age children.
They do feel left out of the night out as they have only just introduced the others. Even though they were very concerned about Couple D & the holiday they haven't said anything as they did feel that anyone can holiday where they like 8but that doesn't stop them bein concerned)
I am surprised by the general consensus as we did feel it was a bit out of order to invite yourself to a celebration
And like the previous poster said a group What App to discuss dates would have been a fantastic idea.
However I will feed back the consensus,
Thanks everyone

OP posts:
EatYourVegetables · 20/06/2023 09:16

Are you all teenagers? SO MUCH DRAMA OVER NOTHING…

caringcarer · 20/06/2023 09:07

ReaIIyThough · 20/06/2023 08:29

Couple A are being unreasonable about the night out and the holiday. 3 couples can make that night, it is what it is. Couple C always holiday there and can invite who they want, Couple A aren't the holiday police 👮‍♂️

😂😂😂 But the obviously think they are!

dammit88 · 20/06/2023 09:07

Couple A are upset that they have been left out of the night out ... whilst happily hoping couple D don't come on holiday, leaving couple D out.

The irony .....

ReaIIyThough · 20/06/2023 09:03

Oh, and you seem to know all of your sisters friends and non friends very well, you're half of couple A aren't you 🤣

ReaIIyThough · 20/06/2023 09:02

NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 08:44

Lol Couple A are anything but the holiday police (I do know them as well), they are just concerned about Couple D's volatility & arguments. They are happy to socialise with them but are concerned that on holiday they could get caught in the crossfire.
Couple C didn't invite couple D - the women in those couples haven't even met yet & it was couple B (who hadn't met couple C at the time)

Lol I am getting confused now too😂

@Cosyblankets I think a What's App group to discuss dates would have been a good idea 💡

Show quote history

If couple A have booked somewhere that they know couple C always go, they are running their own risk of couple C or any couple inviting who they want and more people turning up. They can't book a holiday and police who is allowed to go.

Sissynova · 20/06/2023 08:56

So if all the couples don't even know each-other properly why is A getting pissy about being invited late to a night out? People are allowed to socialise with other people without wanting a million people being involved in the planning.
Couple A sound like a bunch of drama queens with their 'concern' over couple D going on the holiday and then whinging about being invited on a night out but not early enough apparently.

ErinAndTonic · 20/06/2023 08:48

Reading this feels like one of those logic puzzles. Wayyy too complicated for the morning!

Original poster
NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 08:44

ReaIIyThough · 20/06/2023 08:29

Couple A are being unreasonable about the night out and the holiday. 3 couples can make that night, it is what it is. Couple C always holiday there and can invite who they want, Couple A aren't the holiday police 👮‍♂️

Lol Couple A are anything but the holiday police (I do know them as well), they are just concerned about Couple D's volatility & arguments. They are happy to socialise with them but are concerned that on holiday they could get caught in the crossfire.
Couple C didn't invite couple D - the women in those couples haven't even met yet & it was couple B (who hadn't met couple C at the time)

Lol I am getting confused now too😂

@Cosyblankets I think a What's App group to discuss dates would have been a good idea 💡

OP posts:
StopFeckingFaffing · 20/06/2023 08:36

*friends of A, B & C that should say

StopFeckingFaffing · 20/06/2023 08:35

I'm not sure that anyone has done anything wrong here

If I was in couple A, and not hugely fond of couple D then my heart would sink when I found out they were booking same holiday but I would accept that I was being unreasonable and couple D can book to go wherever they like. It's the risk you take with these kind of things, if couple D are mutual friends of A, B and D it is inevitable they would get FOMO and want to join in!

ReaIIyThough · 20/06/2023 08:29

Couple A are being unreasonable about the night out and the holiday. 3 couples can make that night, it is what it is. Couple C always holiday there and can invite who they want, Couple A aren't the holiday police 👮‍♂️

Cosyblankets · 20/06/2023 08:26

If you're all together. Have a WhatsApp group. Send a message. We're going to this restaurant at 7 on Wednesday if anyone wants to join us.
If they do they do, if they don't they don't.
Holidays are meant for relaxing!

Original poster
NCAIBUANON · 20/06/2023 08:04

WandaWonder · 20/06/2023 07:47

I would go with whatever Couple Z want they are the only ones I can get my head around

😂- love it
I want to be Couple C just being invited on nights out & coincidentally being on holiday when friends are 😁
@Shoxfordian my understanding is that they were only invited after the plans were made - so the date was a faît accompli

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 20/06/2023 07:49

Couple A are being oversensitive, it’s not like they weren’t invited to the night out

WandaWonder · 20/06/2023 07:47

I would go with whatever Couple Z want they are the only ones I can get my head around