Couples & Night Out

Couple A are clearly totally unreasonable for being "busy".
They organised something to do by themselves without checking whether the other three couples wanted to tag along? Outrageous.
FFS.

I think it means couple A are not as popular as they think they are in the group. The post suggests couple A see themselves as having a leadership role in the group, at its centre, the couple it revolves around. It's not uncommon in these situations for someone to make a power grab. Either because they want to be the centre themselves or want to shake off the leaders influence. Either way, couple As friends have gone rogue and they will either need to accept the new status quo or form another group to lead.

If you go on holiday together. You have to understand that different people want to do different things and not get arsy when others do something without you.

Couple A went ahead with the meeting of Couples B and C with only one half of couple D available - so surely they set the precedent for not including everyone? Why wasn't that postponed until both on Couple B could make it?

And Couple A invited themselves along to the place that Couple C always go (of all the places in the world why pick there?), and as per the first post, invited couple B along. And it's for a celebration, so firmly making it All About Them, so they've completely bulldozed couple C's holiday! The more I read, the more obvious it is that Couple A think they're very special and should be placed right at the centre of everything...

@NCAIBUANON are you really, truly this bothered? None of it concerns you, why are you so invested?

And couple A didn't want to celebrate alone. They booked an overlapping holiday in exact same place C goes to every year (and no, I don't believe for one second they didn't know this) and then proceeded to invite along B. They then introduced everyone. And now they're dictating who's allowed to have a night out, when and with whom. As you said, B are staying in different accommodation. It's not like they've invited and paid for B to go away and celebrate with them, share accommodation and then B decided to invite D along without consulting A.

OMG, it's so ridiculous. Even just writing that out myself, I'm wondering what I'm doing with my life!

I really urge you to discourage couple A from 'talking to' the other couples. It will ruin the whole vibe of the holiday / night out.

Yes it's unfortunate that plans were made without them but couple c and b obviously want couple d there and couple d shouldn't be made feel unwelcome.

I know couple A are disappointed but that doesn't mean they are right. I would be so hurt if I, as a member of couple d was told that I should have waited for an invitation from everyone.

A pp made a good point that couple c holiday there regularly so they are just as entitled to invite others along.

Hold on, didn't couple A invite themselves onto Couple C's holiday seen as they chose to celebrate their special occasion in the exact same place and exact same time as couple c go every year and then invited couple b along too? Why is that OK but not for them to invite couple d?
Honestly, it all sounds do pathetically childish and unnecessary. It was painful reading it, trying to understand it and then even more painful to find out that OP wasn't even part of any of the couples anyway

I don't know, but it all sounds like my idea of hell.

But why did Couple A have to be involved in the introductions of Couple C to Couple D?

Yes, it would have been nice if they could come along too, hence why they were invited, but it wasn't imperative that they were there, as Couple B could make the introductions.

It does come across as though Couple A think they have some kind of superiority and everyone should arrange everything around them. They are just one of four couples, and no more important than any of the other couples, indeed in this circumstance less important as they were neither needing to be introduced to anyone, nor the person arranging the introductions.

If I've got this right (which I may not have as it's a bit of a riddle)

Couple A invited couple B on holiday, and as a result arranged a get together to introduce them to couple C, who were going to be there at the time.

Couple B invited couple D on holiday, and as a result arranged a get together to introduce them to Couple C who they recently met, who couple D don't know. Couple A were also invited to this meeting, but couldn't go because of a prior work event.

Surely the point of the meetings is for those who don't already know each other to meet prior to the holiday. It sounds as though Couple A already know Couples B, C and D, and so therefore it wasn't really important for Couple A to attend, but they were invited anyway, should they wish to attend.

I don't really see what the problem is tbh. The purpose of the meeting was to introduce couple C to couple D. There's no need for couple A to be involved in that, so of course their availability was less important than that of couple C and couple D.

them

Only to find that couple D have stolen then 🤭

I'm surprised by the responses too @NCAIBUANON - as to me, it's so clear. Hurtful to couple A to go out without them & couple D are rude!

If I were couple A, I'd speak separately to couples B & C about how they feel about being left out.

Not sure what I'd do about couple D - ideally say nothing and ride it out (hoping there's no drama), but if that's not possible then they need to also be frank with D & tell them they're not welcome on the trip if there's going to be any aggro.

If I'm following, couple A feel put out that their friends got along well with eachother and made plans to go out and didnt cancel when couple A, who feel like the pivotal party of the group because they know everyone, didnt cancel to accommodate them?

They are being unreasonable. Rarely can everyone make everything and it's not fair to say noone can go out without them. They can go next time.

This is like one of those math problems where you have 15 melons and couple A eats 16 and you have to divide the rest between couple b and c.

@NCAIBUANON I know you made it clear and you also said your sibling wasn’t going so I asked why were you posting?

I thought I had misread but it looks like your sibling has been asked an opinion about something that doesn’t affect either them or you? Why are you so invested?

I feel for couple A. It seems really mean that the night Out was organised without checking they could make that date. Feels like they are being 'wendied' from their own friendship group.

Couple D are rude inviting themselves along to someone else's celebration - I know people can book themselves to go anywhere, but doesn't make it not rude.

I've lost the will to live ffs

A holiday of two couples where you can be fairly sure you'll get on well is different to a group twice the size with one fighty couple.

My friends go on group holidays a lot with different permutations of people joining. We wouldn't assume to invite outselves if someone else had already organised and I wouldn't expect it I'm the organiser that someone else just prices it up and joins in without at least checking "is it a special occasion / would it be ok for us to join in, it sounds great"

Strictly speaking its a public place but it is quite rude. I did once invite a friend along on a trip away, she accepted then I saw posts on social media inviting loads of other people who I knew wouldn't gell with the original group at all. I messaged her and said that's cool but could she let me know if I wanted to include her in our accommodation or would she be sharing with them. I didn't want to have to change the arrangements entirely to accommodate a much larger group.

I can't get my head around how the night out got organised without any input with Couple A. Are the others in frequent touch now?

Regardless there is nothing Couple A can do about any of it now. The dynamic of the holiday has changed but that doesn't mean it won't still be good. If everyone is in their own accommodation then it shouldn't matter that much. As for fighty couple D, don't get dragged into their drama.