DP saying they wouldn't have done this

I utterly despair of women settling for these pricks, then exposing their children to them. When will it ever change?

Posted in wrong thread!

I do usually stay at parties with my DD (8) - nothing at all to do with worrying about her safety, but because when we've been the ones hosting a big party and everyone drops and runs, I've found it massively stressful being responsible for so many kids. You don't get to relax for a single second and the whole thing passes in a blur.

I really appreciate it when a few other parents stay to help out, so I try to do the same. But no, absolutely not necessary and you did nothing wrong.

This is perfectly normal behaviour unless the kids are preschoolers, your child requires extra care or will be upset if you leave, or the parents or venue request you stay. Be aware of your partner's totally unreasonable controlling behaviour over you and your son.

At age 7 and with the host putting drop off and pick up times on the invitations you acted perfectly reasonably - and you weren't the only parent to drop and run.
At my ds's 5th birthday at a farm I couldn't believe how many parents just left their 4/5 year old children. Ds had only started the school that year, dd3 was 4 months old and I didn't know most of the children ( his reception class). Ds has special needs and at that age couldn't really talk. I was so stressed!

Unless the host's parent was with you all in the restaurant, I'm struggling to see how this is an issue. DD was feeling a bit sensitive and I recently had to attend a trampoline party with her as she didn't want to be left. To be honest, it was embarrassing. If felt like that neurotic parent who couldn't let her child just get on with things. I did my best to fade into a corner with my phone!

I find that some men, usually ones who spend less time with their children, are weirdly quick to comment on the safety of their own or others' children. I see it with BIL who was constantly telling my children to be careful in the kitchen if I was cooking or grabbing them if they wandered more than 5 steps on a walk - but then he spends so little time with his own kid, he's clueless. A different BIL, who was less involved when DC were tiny as he was crazy at work and my sis ws on maternity leave was the same but it's been lovely to see how as she went back to work and they split things more evenly he's become more rational!

You are missing the point, she asked on here for opinions and asking for an opinion and getting an answer is completely different than being judgemental about it and accusing someone of bad parenting, particularly when it's coming from someone who is supposed to love and support you.

Your son was being supervised by another adult and you didn't just leave him. I think your partner should keep his nose out. Don't let him put you down.

What happens if next time your son is at a sleepover or a friend's house, does your partner expect you to sit outside the house all night?

Your partner does seem a bit of a control freak. Is he this judgemental with the mother of his own child?

@BPDprincess She says in another post she has had several judgemental comments over the years. So I don't think people are overreacting.

When he's doing the dreaded parties, he gets to handle it how he chooses. Until then, you'll do it your way. It doesn't have to big deal. Parents often parent thier kids differently 🤷‍♀️

My ex DP would have said things like this, however his children were incredibly shy at parties and disliked unfamiliar situations, he always had to be literally next to them the whole time. So to him it would have been really cruel because his DCs would have been so distressed. For most kids though it’s a non issue!

But does he ever actually do that?
Does he take him to parties and stay the full time?

Easy to say when your not the one doing it. You were perfectly reasonable 😊

YABNU OP - this is when parties actually start being much less of a chore, because you can drop and run off for a couple of hours of quiet :)

Not that I didn't enjoy chatting at some of the littles parties, but it's very dependent on the parental group - sometimes we were friends, sometimes it was just aquaintances.

Actually, having said that, one place I lived it was the norm to have a separate room with wine and nibbles for the adults - that was very civilised (well, unless you were the designated driver)

The issue isn’t what you did which as others have pointed out is not only normal but what was expected given what the invite said.

The issue is that your BF feels so comfortable making such comments about your parenting skills. Not only that but he did it in front of a child.

And yet everybody is giving their opinion on here 🤣 Just because most people's opinions are in agreement with hers, it's ok?!

Why are you still with someone who tries to make you feel bad like that?

Well if you put up with judgmental comments about your parenting in your relationship from your partner, who isn’t even the child’s dad, then more fool you.

He was being a cunt and completely unreasonable. Predictably this wasn’t his first attempt to put down and hurt his partner. He’s an arsehole.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it. It’s about the age I started leaving mine I think - depending on if I knew the parent and how happy my kid was etc - it’s for you to judge. And you were a whole minute away… 🙄

Oh course it’s fine.

our nearest trampoline parks are over 30 mins drive away so a parent would always just drive a bunch of kids down themselves for parties, as too far to ask parents to drop off.

theyre 7 not 2.

Where we live, the soft play of trampoline parties are never drop off. Parents usually congregate in the cafe if the venue. Many often bring and pay in separately their siblings. However o have taken a group that age where parents weren’t allowed to stay - a mass girlguiding event at a trampoline park where rainbows, brownies, guides and rangers all went to bounce (at different times) with the required ratio of adults but not parents. But then our school organised a treat for the KS1 and then KS2 separately to go to the trampoline park and pare are had to stay and supervise their own child. So there’s no right and wrong in this situation. And perhaps different people feel differently about the scenario. Just agree to disagree on this one.

Of course it's OK - he was at a party so being supervised. Nobody stays for parties beyond about age 5 here - drop and run.

Is parenting your 'weak spot'; has he tried to criticise you on other things and you've been able to brush it off? What he is doing is not OK.

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/graphic.php

Just say when I start judging you on your bad parenting, you can judge me on mine - and leave it at that.
😈

"I parent my ds my way, I do not need someone telling me how to do it, least of all you."