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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't think this is a compliment.

92 replies

Posypetals · 18/06/2023 21:46

My partner and I have been together 27 years. Few ups and downs as with any relationship.
Anyway, today he went rock climbing and I asked him to pick me up a new climbing harness
No problem says he.
He came home later thos afternoon with said harness and I tried it on, fit perfectly.
I asked him how he managed to get the right size. (He's no good with sizes)
He said the woman there had asked him what my body shape was, he said, she's slim with child bearing hips!!! (We have 3 grown up children)
I am a tad miffed that that was the way he described my body shape. AIBU???
I was like, thanks.... not.
He seems to think he was kind amd that he was been nice.

OP posts:
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HotdogCat · 19/06/2023 18:54

Have you also posted this on a weightloss app forum? 🤔 if you have, might be worth name changing on here unless you don’t mind the loss of anonymity. If you haven’t, someone else has been told the same thing by their husband today 😂

Dazedandbemused0 · 19/06/2023 12:19

What?! That doesn’t sound at all insulting. Why would child bearing hips not be a compliment? I have always thought of it as very complimentary, implying you have a nice shape. Your poor husband did a nice thing and tried to be nice about you and got you something you needed and you just complained about a nonissue?

thatganisette · 19/06/2023 12:14

I find this a bit odd. You wanted a new one so must have already had one. Didn't you say "I usually have S/M"? It sounds like you were fishing

Spottypineapple · 19/06/2023 11:08

Maybe he should have said 'she has the body of a 90s supermodel' and came back with a harness that didn't fit.

YABVU

Phos · 19/06/2023 10:35

It wasn't meant to be a compliment. It was a functional description to help get you something you wanted. And it worked.

Simianwalk · 19/06/2023 10:10

My DH calls me fat bum as a term of endearment. 😁

Toenailz · 19/06/2023 10:07

He got you the harness you asked for. Bet he's wishing he never bothered now.

To be honest, 'how did you get the right size' seems like such a set up question anyway. Why didn't you just tell him the size you needed, if you're asking him to pick something up for you?

It wouldn't bother me that my partner described my body honestly, for safety gear that fits properly. I'm realistic about my body and it's shape.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/06/2023 09:57

ThatFraggle · Yesterday 22:17
Childbearing hips is not a compliment

Obviously accurate, though. It’s not an insult, either.

BPDprincess · 19/06/2023 09:54

LookingOldTheseDays · 19/06/2023 09:36

Yes - but less so I think. The term used to be used about (mostly) female 'hangers on', but climbing is much less male dominated these days (except winter and alpine, but I expect to see lots more women doing that in future too).

Show quote history

I thought I'd walked into UKC by mistake.

GracePalmer33 · 19/06/2023 09:42

Yes you are overreacting and looking to be offended in my opinion. You are slim with "womanly" hips. How offensive. Are you insecure about your body in general?

OrcasFree · 19/06/2023 09:39

It wasn't supposed to be a compliment was it?

It was a description of your body type.

MasterBeth · 19/06/2023 09:38

ThatFraggle · 18/06/2023 22:17

Childbearing hips is not a compliment

Absolutely can be.

LookingOldTheseDays · 19/06/2023 09:36

AIBURel · 19/06/2023 09:23

Belay Bunny, is that still a thing?

Yes - but less so I think. The term used to be used about (mostly) female 'hangers on', but climbing is much less male dominated these days (except winter and alpine, but I expect to see lots more women doing that in future too).

LookingOldTheseDays · 19/06/2023 09:34

Outofthepark · 19/06/2023 09:29

Post comes crashing down to reality 😄

OP it was factually correct and actually a sweet thing to say IMO, I mean, you also do have child bearing hips as you've had 3 kids 😁 and it's a nice thing to say overall. Unless he's weird about it other times, YABU! It's nice he got your harness.

Show quote history

Tbf, I've since been corrected that many brands do now have more specific sizing these days (seems to be mainly the sport climbing specific harnesses, which don't have adjustable leg loops).

But regardless - if he's buying a model of harness with more specific sizing, that makes it even less believable that he'd just guess without the OP trying it on, because shops typically exclude climbing gear bought in store from their returns policies. Most people wouldn't spend £50-100 on a non-returnable item without trying it on.

Outofthepark · 19/06/2023 09:29

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 22:01

For those who don't know, climbing harness come in very few sizes! It is not a sign that the sales lady was "shit hot at sizing" that she chose one that fit.

A slim waisted woman will take a S/M. A larger woman will take a M/L. There are no other sizes in any model of climbing harness I've ever worn.

Post comes crashing down to reality 😄

OP it was factually correct and actually a sweet thing to say IMO, I mean, you also do have child bearing hips as you've had 3 kids 😁 and it's a nice thing to say overall. Unless he's weird about it other times, YABU! It's nice he got your harness.

AIBURel · 19/06/2023 09:23

Belay Bunny, is that still a thing?

InSpainTheRain · 18/06/2023 23:44

Sorry I'm not buying it.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 18/06/2023 23:39

That doesn't make sense though @ThatFraggle if he needed to describe her shape and size to get the right fit, there would be no point in suggesting she was a completely different shape possibly resulting in the wrong equipment (although I understand from those who know about rock climbing it's actually irrelevant ).

truthhurts23 · 18/06/2023 23:36

is this a humble brag ..

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 23:25

And it's not unusual for critical PPE to be excluded from returns policies - it's the case in other areas outside climbing as well.

SarahEdwards123 · 18/06/2023 23:25

My partner of 6 years, has just called me a ‘Lesbian’ for drink plant based milk. I have switched to oat milk, as of recently, to reduce inflammation, as I am also a Celiac. I really did not expect this of him, as usually he is so kind and respectful.

Subsequent to his comment, I called him a ‘pig’, and said to him that I was ‘taking the kids with me’. Did I Over React?

WhatADrabCarpet · 18/06/2023 23:24

I think you need to bin this concern.
He was being honest .
What's the point of getting an I'll-fitting harness?

Child bearing hips is not derogatory at all.

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 23:24

Climbing gear bought in store that should say

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 23:24

Climbing gear bought in store that should say

LookingOldTheseDays · 18/06/2023 23:23

Ipcareer · 18/06/2023 23:19

:) maybe.

I don’t find the story that hard to believe.

but to bring it back to the thread OP I don’t think you should be offended.

Show quote history

Ellis Brigham's returns policy specifically excludes climbing gear. You were lucky they made an exception, which was great for you.

I personally like to buy my harnesses from stores which know exactly how the harness was stored at every point up until my purchase, as do most climbers.