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Original poster

Comments about hand me downs

84 replies

Peterpiperpickedapeckof · 16/06/2023 12:48

This is a funny one as I think it’s more political than practical.

I have an older girl and two younger boys. My sil and bil have a girl who is 6 years younger than my girl and a boy just 2 years younger than my youngest boy.

I have taken a pragmatic approach to hand me downs and just gave the girls away to friends / family with children close in age to mine and that has meant that I have given the youngest boy’s clothes to my sil for her boy but she’s made a few sharp comments and so has her daughter and also my bil about how her daughter doesn’t get anything etc.

I can’t hold on to clothes for 6 years + and I can’t imagine they want me to give them things that are massively too big. My daughter is tall and always wore clothes several ages bigger and their girl wears clothes several sizes smaller. So the age gap is huge!

They have buckets of cash so really don’t need my hand me downs. I’m tempted just to stop giving any!

Writing this I can see it is so petty! Going to let the whole thing dry up I think. What would you do?

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 16/06/2023 13:03

Curseofthenation · 16/06/2023 13:00

Screw giving them the clothes from your DD. They are so entitled to whinge about it in the first place. A polite request from a family member is fair enough - a little cheeky but in the realms of normal. They are taking the biscuit.

I would stop giving them anything. If they ask, say you have a friend going through a hard time and as they are obviously doing ok for themselves, you knew they wouldn't mind your DS' clothes going to them instead.

This is my view. Anyone who is rude enough to complain why they’re not getting more from me gets less in future and needier friends or the Salvation Army benefit instead.

Didimum · 16/06/2023 13:01

Having buckets of cash and being able to buy new doesn't mean you want to though – you can still want to be more sustainable and opt for second hand.

Regardless, I would also not store clothes for years – pack up whatever old clothes and offer it to her to store. If she can'y take it straight away then say it's going elsewhere as you can't store it.

Curseofthenation · 16/06/2023 13:00

Screw giving them the clothes from your DD. They are so entitled to whinge about it in the first place. A polite request from a family member is fair enough - a little cheeky but in the realms of normal. They are taking the biscuit.

I would stop giving them anything. If they ask, say you have a friend going through a hard time and as they are obviously doing ok for themselves, you knew they wouldn't mind your DS' clothes going to them instead.

Original poster
Peterpiperpickedapeckof · 16/06/2023 12:59

Thanks everyone

i have given them a few things actually over the years. Now my daughter is a teen and in adult clothes, seems mad to give them to their daughter who is still tiny… I could though to make a point !

so silly the whole thing. Wish I’d just charity shopped the lot

OP posts:
2bazookas · 16/06/2023 12:58

As soon as your DD outgrows them I'd pass on all the giant clothes for their daughter and say "If you don't want them, please hand them on to anyone else or a charity shop".

babbscrabbs · 16/06/2023 12:57

ThreeFeetTall · 16/06/2023 12:55

Just give them the clothes once your daughter has finished with them. Problem solved. If they don't want to store them then that's on them

Yeah I'd do this, depending on what the comments were and how rude! Gets rid of them for you.

SnapPop · 16/06/2023 12:56

Yes - give them as soon as your DD grows out of them and it's up to them if they want to hang on to them. Definitely don't store them!

ThreeFeetTall · 16/06/2023 12:55

Just give them the clothes once your daughter has finished with them. Problem solved. If they don't want to store them then that's on them

cpphelp · 16/06/2023 12:50

I'd ask them if they want the clothes, as if not, going to charity as I don't have the space to store them.

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