Comments about hand me downs

I'd stop giving as well without making up stories. Bloody cheek.

Tell them it's wonderful they are so eco-friendly and want to make sure they aren't using fast fashion and give them a list of great charity shops that sell children's clothing. :)

That’s crazy they should ne delighted to be getting what they are getting sure styles change all the time too just give them the boys clothes and give the girls clothes to whoever you want peole are crazy and when you get a low percentage on here that your been unreasonable I think it’s auntomated 😂😂

You have given them clothes for one of their children and kindly given to friends aswell. It is your choice where things go and I think this is a fair way of dividing, especially with the large age and size gap. They are just trying to find something to make an issue about.

I have 3 daughters, all 6 years apart, other than the odd outfit I never kept any for hand me downs as I never had the space to store it all and fashions change.

How ridiculous.
I don’t think they’re suggesting you store your DD’s clothes or give them to them to store…
I think they’re being even cheekier and hunting that since you give their DS lots of your sons clothes, that you make it fairer by buying their DD something!!
I think In your position I would give the clothes away in a local Facebook group or to a charity shop. Or next time respond ‘since you’re getting clothes for free maybe it would be fairer if you bought my kids something!!!!

Petty and rude: For the sake of peace, give your D clothes and tell them to send to charity shop if they don't want them: Lots of peoppllee are saying to stop giving to them altoggether (hich is what she deserves) ut if you do that, she might get nasty !

I would ask them when you have some so they can’t say you didn’t offer.

None of their business what you do with your stuff! Jealousy stinks :)

On a side note I stick all of the kids old clothes on Vinted for £1-£3 depending on the brand, like to think I’m doing my bit for the environment recycling clothes at a low cost and the money goes into the kids savings account

Caveat, I'm biased, OP. I grew up in hand-me-downs, my entire primary school years. Free school uniforms; one new outfit for Sundays, bought too large and worn until too small; and everything else came in large bin bags handed directly to my Mum, with any gaps filled by a rummage through the heaped piles on categorised tables ('all children's coats 50p') at the next jumble sale.

Some things I loved. Red and white itchy wool but I didn't care tartan trousers to wear under my school skirt in winter, ohh yes! Lime green polyester shirt with long pointy lapels (it was the 70's), I hated you.

However - and this is the point of my ramblings - even as a child I understood how grateful and relieved my mother was to be given those bags of clothes for us, and to have good quality warm clothes available for token prices at church jumble sales.

Others are in a similar situation today, yet big-name charity shops seem to have killed the jumble sale. So please, an absolute no to entitled relatives, and if you can, pass the clothes on directly, or to a shelter/relief org who will simply hand them out.

I would do this going forward.

This.

How rude and entitled are they?

I would be inclined not to pass on any more clothes and either sell them online, give them to others who'd be more appreciative or give them straight to charity. 🌹

Oh don't store them for 6 years. If SIL wants them she can store them. I'm only storing things for ages as I don't know anyone with children or even pregnant yet.

Maybe I'm cynical, but I think this is a really funny, "be careful what you wish for" scenario. The niece is approaching the age where, for many girls, what she wears becomes very, very important. She wants certain styles, colors, brands. Very irritating for parents. Now imagine what fun you could have with this:

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you wanted these clothes...of course you can have them! I can't wait to see her wear them...I haven't seen them yet, will she be wearing them over the Christmas get together?" And on, and on...

And then there is the niece. If they keep the clothes for 6 or 8 years will she want to wear them? Almost a decade old? Wrong color, wrong style, wrong size?

"I'm so touched you wanted the clothes for niece. You know, some parents are so materialistic and insecure that they get pushed to buy clothes for their daughter that are fashionable, and fit exactly. It's so refreshing that you don't care about that, and your daughter is so independent and mature that she doesn't have to fit in. I can't wait to see her in the clothes!"

You've been very kind and patient to tolerate their attitude to this, OP!
I wouldn't give anything at all to unpleasant and entitled people, who can easily afford to buy new, and who you're only stuck with because they're supposedly 'family'. Give future clothes to people you care about or who genuinely need them.

So basically they are getting freebies but making jibes about not getting more freebies??? Have they given you any hand me downs of description or are they just ungrateful bleeps?

I have a relative who hands stuff down. The age gap from her son to mine is 6 years

I don't want it! I can't store clothes for 6 years

Just ask them if they want the much too big girls stuff? If they do, they store it, not you.

I don’t understand the issue. Can you not just explain that you assumed the age gap was too big and that they wouldn’t want to store clothes for 6 years, whereas 2 years is much easier, but say you’re happy to pass on your daughter’s clothes if they want them.

Having read that they live abroad I would only give them what you’ve got when you see them though. I wouldn’t be keeping piles of outgrown clothes for 6 months or whatever, unless I had plenty of space.

I'd full on stop giving them any hand me downs if they've actually complained that there are only clothes for their son.

I’d stop giving them clothes.

She’s made a few sharp comments and so has her daughter and also my bil about how her daughter doesn’t get anything etc.

What is amazing about this is the way the entire family, SIL, BIL and her DD has taken the fact of your generosity as a reason to fault-find and complain about you - as if you are doing anything wrong!

Its not like they are perfect for her DD right now and you gave them to someone else. She wouldn't be able use them for years and they'd be out of fashion/season.
It would be interesting to learn how they show generosity to your DC in return?

There's better candidates. IMHO

Don’t give them the DD I’ve have the same gap between my DD and the fashions etc change then different body shape as get older. Give them to someone who will wear now except for say PJ or swimsuits pass on. They sit there gathering dust and then when possibly fits won’t want anyway and that’s more wasteful.

I'd stop giving anything if they were that rude and would offer them to other local parents.

They're so rude and it's annoying when relatives with younger children seem to think it's the role of family with older children to kit their children out.