Baby name entitlement

This made me laugh WAY too hard!

OP--name your baby what YOU want. I think, that if you have a girl and name her after your mum, that would be a great honor. Use your name as her middle name, if they go together at all.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have an easy delivery and a wonder rest of your pregnancy.

I wouldn’t discuss names with her at all!

I would simply say, “We don’t want to discuss names so that both the sex and name is a surprise to everyone’… and then politely ask her to respect the fact that if yours turns out to be a boy she can’t ‘claim’ ten names when her kid will only actually have one!! Maybe say to her can you decide on ONE name please so that we can actually have a nice name for ours if it’s a boy too!… state that you have a few favourites and you’re not crossing them all off because they’re a ‘maybe’ for her son!

Personally I would just tell her to either not discuss names at all so you can’t be accused of using ‘her’ name…. Or she has to pick ONE not ten…. Or the other option is for you and your partner to just decide what your favourite name is and just say ‘if ours is a boy WE ARE HAVING “James Robert’ or whatever…. And quite simply since yours is first it’s just too bad!

Also the girls name being your mums name is lovely… it won’t make the baby a favourite, your sister is very immature and needs to grow up!! Being pregnant together should be a lonely thing not a competition or something to be jealous about…

when I was pregnant we had our boys name and our girls decided…. My cousin was quite far behind me and announced she was having our boys name for her son… I just smiled and said ‘ooh Nan might have two great grandsons with the same name’ (I certainly wasn’t changing our name choice for her as it would’ve been after my ex’s grand father.. whereas the name had no significance to her other than ‘she liked it!….. Anyway I had a girl and she ended up choosing a different name entirely anyway!

Don’t change your choices, decide what you’re having and stick to it!…. I bet if she has a girl next time she’ll have your mothers name if you don’t !!

If there’s a name she’s always liked and always dreamt of calling her child you’d be unreasonable to use it. Any other names can’t be bagsied. She sounds like a nightmare!

This or at the very most two if they are family names of her partner

What would happen if you said to her next time it comes up “why is it you think that every name that you and I both like should be reserved for your potential use? Don’t you want me to name my baby a name I really love? You’ve reserved 7 names already but not once said yes i really like that name too but I won’t use it if you like it so much “. In a gentle way but it might make her realise how selfish she is being

Stop talking to her about names.

Your baby is coming first, you name them whatever you want.

This is probably quite outing but I was pregnant at the same time as DP’s SIL. She was 8 weeks ahead of me and she knew she was having a girl, whereas we kept the gender a surprise.

We didn’t discus names with anyone other than to say “it’ll not be anything weird” and that I was keen it would be a name that would work when they were both a child and an adult. So not a “Marjorie” 🤣

We had settled on a girls name “Great Granny 1” and middle name would be “Great Granny 2”. We again didn’t tell anyone but lo and behold, SIL has the baby and names the baby after “Great Granny 1”. I was really upset, but not as upset when I learnt that the child wouldn’t be known by that name… she would essentially be known as a derivative of that name which in its own right was a name (think Harry, coming from Harriet or Cathy from Catherine).

The hormones drove that madness for sure, and I was devastated but I felt I couldn’t say anything because 1. We didn’t know what we were having and 2. We were due afterwards.

So my advice to you, respect the first name she told you and just forget the rest were ever mentioned by her to you. She does not have a monopoly on names and she will eventually get over it.

FWIW I ended up having a boy, and he was named after his maternal great grandfather and his paternal grandfather, which really touched both families.

If you really wanted to discuss it with her beforehand you could tell her to pick her 2 favourite names, but after that sorry all names are fair game. But even at that, that would be you being very nice to her and not something you should have to do at all. Defo use your mams name if you still want to if its a girl.

If you're having the baby first then you technically get first dibs of any names anyway. She can't claim every single nice boys name. She is probably panicking because you're due first.
I bet she picks a shit name anyway that you wouldn't of even chosen.
When I was pregnant by 8 months I had whittled my names down to 2 of my favourites anyway, so maybe by then she might've aswell.
I had a girl, but before we knew what we were having, I had 3 favourite boys names, I told a friend who was due a month before me, and she ended up using two of them as a first and middle name 😂

Everytime she says a name she likes, say you like it too. Maybe she will choose to stop talking about it.

Tell her to name hers after dad/uncle whatever. I would say that she’s putting too many names on her reserved list. If she’s set on one name that she really wants then you won’t use it but she can’t reserve a whole bunch of decent names.

YANBU I have two cousins with the same name (and surnames until was married) and it’s literally no problem. Call your child what you like, no one else’s business.

I guarantee if she has a girl in the future she will call her after your mum if you don’t. Call the baby whatever you wish.

I would find cousins this close in age having the same name very strange.

Also cousins can have the same first name. It’s not unheard of and it’s not like you can play dibs anyways

If she had one name she had her heart set of it would be different but considering she doesn’t know herself, sod it!

My sister and I had girls a day apart, luckily we didn't have this issue as we have totally different taste in names, nothing wrong with a bit of sibling rivalry, if she was dead set on a particular name I'd maybe think of something else but she can't have a long list of names that are off limits, plus you have the upper hand being due first, although I was due nearly a month before my sister and turns out my neice is the eldest lol

I would stop discussing it with her to be honest, then she can't claim a name! Name your child what you want to name it, If you want to call a girl after your mum then that is your choice. If she wants to get in a huff about the name you eventually use then let her.

Your baby is due first so she is trying to control the situation by telling you names they might want to use. She knows that ultimately you are in control as you’re baby will be born first, so you can make first choice.
I would tell her to stop telling you and sending you lists of names she is reserving, so then you can be left In Peace to choose your babies name as you see fit.

I would have lost it with her by now in your shoes, so well done for your patience, I cannot bear such controlling behaviour!

I was due very close to my SIL. We did not speak about names..... ever! The most we said was "got 3 girls names picked". After that it was up to whoever gave birth first! I'd stop discussing it with her altogether and next time she brings up a name she likes just say something like "oh that's on our list too. Guess it's up to whoever gives birth first!" laugh it off and change the topic.

I have lots of cousins with the same name but not with a few weeks age gap!

I have cousins with the same name, there’s never been an issue about it. Myself and my sisters all have the same second name.

‘We’re not sure if we’re going to use it yet’

’neither are we…’

I had the same issue. My sister is 3 months behind me in her pregnancy. I am due in August, she in November.

I found out I was having a boy but didn't have any ideas or lists of baby names. My sister has a list of 15 boy names she likes.

I did ask for her list to make sure we didn't pick one of hers, but unlike yours, mine never sent it. So my husband and I decided on a name we both liked. When we told her, she got annoyed and said it was on her list.
She can't reserve names and expect them to be off-limits. She has another 14 names to choose from.
Luckily, both my parents had my back in this (mum usually supports my sister no matter what) and said she can pick another name as we are due first and she will have to accept our decision.
She seems to be alright with it now, and if she's not well, that's her issue. I shouldn't have to bend over for her due to her long list of names.

You choose a name and your sister will just have to accept it. Lucky she will have plenty of other names to chose from by the sounds of it. Don't let her bully you

Sounds like she's going to be an arse no matter what . ..
so choose a name you and dh want....
if shes like this now it's likely to continue after as well so you will need to hold your boundaries clear...