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Original poster

Cheating, cheated or innocent?

34 replies

Hrcg87 · 14/06/2023 16:59

DC was playing on DH's ipad and opened his messages when he handed it back to me to put youtube back on.

There was a message of a girl (OW) he used to work with that read:

OW "Hiya, it XXX. I know you have blocked me on everything and forgot i had your number saved but i just want to know why you have blocked me again? If its something i have done please let me know"

OW Another msg "block my number by all means just trying to understand"

DH reply "you know why i cant handle you my head falls off"

OW "ive been having a really hard time and needed someone to talk too. At least tell me whats going on instead of blocking me. That really hurts"

DH: "i know but if i tell u what i think i al worried you will disappear, i know it doesnt make sense. Im still here if u want to chat"

OW "i wont, id rather you tell me whats going on, it upsets me when u block me"

DH " fair enough, i messed up and am sorry. Promise it wont happen again. U still my friend?"

OW "of course"

All other messages of her have been deleted.

Just seems a rather odd convo, considering she was just a temp at his work and left a few months ago.

OP posts:
Nordicrain · 14/06/2023 17:50

I think it sounds like your DH wanted more/ fancied her, and she wasn't interested. He then blocked her as he couldn't deal with just being friends.

EmpressSoleil · 14/06/2023 17:26

A) Your DH felt it was coming close to affair territory and closed it down. But then the fact they're in contact again is worrying.
B) They had a one night stand/fling, your DH felt guilty and called it off. But again the resumption of contact is a concern.

I don't really see any other options. Either way, your DH is putting her feelings over yours. He might argue he's just trying to be a "friend" to her, but she shouldn't mean that much to him that he is the one that has to "be there" for her. His loyalty should be to you, not her.

HalloweenOnChristmas · 14/06/2023 17:23

If they are recent messages then I agree, try and keep the conversation going and see if she incriminates herself.

Crunchymum · 14/06/2023 17:21

Your use of OW is confusing. Are they known to have had an affair?

Sounds dodge in any event and if that is a C&P are they both illiterate?

Denise82 · 14/06/2023 17:20

Was she a temp for very long? Why would he give her his number?
Seems to me they got close talking and it was possibly turning his head hence his "head falls off " comment, this makes it look more from his part. So he blocked her on everything except his mobile, which suggests thats not how they used to talk. So possibly on Insta dm or Messenger.
She soinds like she wants back in to whatever it was and is playing the " really needed someone to talk" to, etc
If it was my husband, I'd just ask him. And see his reaction. On the us side he did block her but he seeems to be letting her back in now. Talk to him.

jeaux90 · 14/06/2023 17:16

Definitely something going on. I mean there are several scenarios here any of which means he's not been totally honest.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 14/06/2023 17:11

No that's not good at all, something has happened there and it's overstepped the line.

bibbityboppityboo · 14/06/2023 17:08

Ooo that's red flags all over.

In my mind - they've either cheated together, or she's made a move and he's totally shut her down and blocked her (and she's embarrassed).

Weird all of the other messages are deleted though.

"you know why i cant handle you my head falls off" - this is the message to me that suggests more from your DHs side though.

"i know but if i tell u what i think i al worried you will disappear" - why does he care if she disappears? Odd.

If she's a temp from his work from months ago - why does she have his number? Why is she searching for answers months later?

Sorry OP but if that was my DH I'd be fuming to read something like that.

VR24 · 14/06/2023 17:05

Mmm That’s odd. I’d be the exact same as you! Maybe monitor the messages for a few days or pretend to be your husband and txt her from the iPad. I really hope it’s just a misunderstanding but I know I’d want to know I wouldn’t be able to get it out my mind. x