Disabled seat on buses

Spidey66 · 2023-06-13T16:37:52+00:00

So about 10 days ago I tripped over a step and broke my arm. I had a cast on for a week, then it was removed but I still have a sling and am in considerable pain. I took a brief trip to the high street on the bus for cash today. On the return I got on the bus and sat on the disabled seat nearest the driver. As i was on the inside, my injured left arm was against the window so I felt safe as I feel anxious about others bumping into me, or losing my balance at an emergency stop. I feel I am entitled to use the disabled spot as I have a temporary disability, which given I have a sling is obvious. An older woman sat next to me on the outside of the seat then a much older lady got on and there didn't appear to be a seat for her. I felt dead guilty (damn you Catholic childhood!) and ended up explaining to her why I wasn't able to stand up for her. As it was, she was fine with my explanation and the lady sat next to me offered her the seat. So is it is OK for a middle age woman to use a disabled seat because of a broken arm? Noone on the bus made me feel bad except myself but I don't know their thoughts!

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:17

Yes I felt guilty, but realise now I was wrong to feel guilty.

OP posts:

myladydarbanville · 16/06/2023 14:16

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:10

I don’t feel guilty, thanks. A slight twinge at the time, but having been told that actually I am at risk of further injury to my tendon if I had had a fall and my conscience is clear now. :)

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Oh, right. This whole thread started by you stated that you felt "Catholic guilt" and the point of the thread was to get reassured what you did was okay. The specific words you used were:

I felt dead guilty

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:10

myladydarbanville · 16/06/2023 14:04

Well, your conscience signalled to you that you ought to feel guilty... so perhaps you should be listening to that, next time.

I don’t feel guilty, thanks. A slight twinge at the time, but having been told that actually I am at risk of further injury to my tendon if I had had a fall and my conscience is clear now. :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:08

Dachshund40 · 16/06/2023 13:52

I really wasn’t taking unbridgeable at you using a priority seat, as I and many have said, it’s the fact you’re comparing a broken arm and PRE osteoporosis to life long and complex disabilities. Such disabilities come with much more restriction than a seat on a bus and many face daily severe prejudice as well as painful life limiting conditions. You’ve a broken arm, needed a seat and got one, nothing was hindering you significantly, you just didn’t like some of the responses on here.
if anything positive come out this situation, I hope it’s that you realise how privileged you are.

I wasn’t though. At worst I may have described it as a ‘temporary’ disability. If this caused offence I’m sorry, but I said time and time again I was well aware it was a temporary condition.

But I didn’t post again to start all this off again, I just thought some people may want an update but clearly I was wrong and those disagreeing with me just wanted to continue giving me a hard time. I’ve had that, thanks!

OP posts:

myladydarbanville · 16/06/2023 14:04

Well, your conscience signalled to you that you ought to feel guilty... so perhaps you should be listening to that, next time.

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:02

And really to go with my own gut feeling and conscience as to what is right and wrong in a situation.

OP posts:

Dachshund40 · 16/06/2023 13:52

I really wasn’t taking unbridgeable at you using a priority seat, as I and many have said, it’s the fact you’re comparing a broken arm and PRE osteoporosis to life long and complex disabilities. Such disabilities come with much more restriction than a seat on a bus and many face daily severe prejudice as well as painful life limiting conditions. You’ve a broken arm, needed a seat and got one, nothing was hindering you significantly, you just didn’t like some of the responses on here.
if anything positive come out this situation, I hope it’s that you realise how privileged you are.

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:44

Anyway, forget it. If I’ve learnt anything from this thread it’s to not pass judgement on those sitting in the seats as you don’t know what they’re going through. And to offer my seat-any seat- to those with arm injuries knowing exactly how hard it is to get round on a moving bus with a broken arm.

OP posts:

Sissynova · 16/06/2023 13:42

‘Some people don’t agree with my so now I don’t know why I asked!!’

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:40

I’m wondering myself…,

OP posts:

TimesRwo · 16/06/2023 13:39

Luxell934 · 16/06/2023 13:20

“I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet”

🙄So why ask random people off the internet in the first place then?? You made the thread OP!

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My thoughts exactly! An aspect of AIBU I never understand!

Luxell934 · 16/06/2023 13:20

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:14

So in case you’re interested…. I had a fracture clinic appointment today. The injury hasn’t got worse but apparently there is a risk of further injury to the tendon in my shoulder. They are aware I’m not keen on surgery so for the next week I have to wear a poly sling instead of a collar and cuff. This is larger and more supportive than the one I had over the past week and is restricting my left arm more and I have to wear it 24/7 except for washing or dressing.

Youll be pleased to know my husband gave me a lift to and from the hospital but as the sling is even more restrictive than the one I’ve just had….if I was on a bud yes I would use an available priority seat. For those who take umbrage at this sorry (not sorry). I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet.

“I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet”

🙄So why ask random people off the internet in the first place then?? You made the thread OP!

Original poster

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:14

So in case you’re interested…. I had a fracture clinic appointment today. The injury hasn’t got worse but apparently there is a risk of further injury to the tendon in my shoulder. They are aware I’m not keen on surgery so for the next week I have to wear a poly sling instead of a collar and cuff. This is larger and more supportive than the one I had over the past week and is restricting my left arm more and I have to wear it 24/7 except for washing or dressing.

Youll be pleased to know my husband gave me a lift to and from the hospital but as the sling is even more restrictive than the one I’ve just had….if I was on a bud yes I would use an available priority seat. For those who take umbrage at this sorry (not sorry). I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet.

OP posts:

Catchasingmewithspiders · 15/06/2023 18:18

Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 18:03

Yes if OP got on a bus and it was full and she had a broken arm I'd expect someone, any decent human being to offer her to sit down. Thats what I would do. It would only be fair.

But if I was OP in her situation who sat herself down in a priority seat and then an elderly woman got on and OP took it upon herself to say to this lady (who OP has no idea if she has a disability, bad hip, arthritis, heart issues etc etc) I need this seat more than you sorry and not bother to offer her it.

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The OP didn't tell the older lady she needed the seat more

She told the older lady why it was difficult for her to stand

They are not the same thing

Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 18:03

Newname211 · 15/06/2023 12:50

Wait, so you now think other people should get up for OP because of her broken arm?

But op shouldn’t sit down because a broken arm isn’t disabled enough?

Which is it?

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Yes if OP got on a bus and it was full and she had a broken arm I'd expect someone, any decent human being to offer her to sit down. Thats what I would do. It would only be fair.

But if I was OP in her situation who sat herself down in a priority seat and then an elderly woman got on and OP took it upon herself to say to this lady (who OP has no idea if she has a disability, bad hip, arthritis, heart issues etc etc) I need this seat more than you sorry and not bother to offer her it.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 15/06/2023 14:57

Clearly every broken arm is different and no one but the op and her doctor can judge the severity of it and how much it impacts her ability to do things. I would imagine that it would make it very difficult and unsafe for her to not get a seat on the bus. Whether she needs the priority seat or just any other seat is very difficult to judge without knowing how much the bus was moving, how easy it is to get too and from the other seats which were available. If she didn’t feel safe to get to a different seat due to her arm then we can’t say that it actually is safe.

Newname211 · 15/06/2023 12:50

Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 10:13

Definitely not first come, first served with bus seats. You'd have to be extremely ignorant and selfish to adhere to that rule. Are you suggesting if the OP got on and the bus was full she just should have stood up the whole way despite her broken arm?

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Wait, so you now think other people should get up for OP because of her broken arm?

But op shouldn’t sit down because a broken arm isn’t disabled enough?

Which is it?

ItsNotRocketSalad · 15/06/2023 12:15

Kiwano · 13/06/2023 18:06

But very few disabilities are the same as other disabilities. That doesn't prevent them from being disabilities. That's a basic fact, it isn't patronising. If, for example, OP had lost a hand, would you claim that she wasn't disabled just because her disability isn't the same as yours?

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I don't know what you think you're replying to, but it has no relevance to my post. A broken arm isn't a disability.

Original poster

Spidey66 · 15/06/2023 11:40

sashh · 15/06/2023 11:06

If it was only a few stops why didn't you walk?

Why can't you lift anything heavier than a kettle?

Maybe you should apply for PIP, you sound like you think you deserve it.

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So now I’m expected to not only explain why I needed a priority seat, but also why I was on the damn bus in the first place.

you’re being pedantic with the second question, you know I mean with my left arm and because at the moment it’s useless.

And of course I don’t think I qualify for PIP.

Words fail me.

OP posts:

Apricotflanday · 15/06/2023 11:34

SouthCountryGirl · 15/06/2023 08:59

And some of us with a visual impairment find our balance especially on moving transport is affected.

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Exactly. My point is that it's not for others to judge.

Apricotflanday · 15/06/2023 11:29

JazbayGrapes · 15/06/2023 10:25

Definitely not first come, first served with bus seats. You'd have to be extremely ignorant and selfish to adhere to that rule. Are you suggesting if the OP got on and the bus was full she just should have stood up the whole way despite her broken arm?

If bus is full, then bus is full. Either take your risk squeezing in and standing, or wait for another one. Or do you suggest someone be thrown off the bus?

Erm, any decent person who was fit and well enough to stand would give up their seat to someone clearly less able to, surely? From the responses on here, though, it's clear that a lot of people wouldn't have the empathic ability necessary to understand that someone with a broken arm might struggle or be at risk standing on a crowded bus.

Luxell934 · 15/06/2023 11:12

Never known someone to argue her point as much as this OP. Why bother making a post at all if you are so sure your decision was the right one?! Most people think you were being unreasonable though so there’s your answer.

sashh · 15/06/2023 11:06

Spidey66 · 15/06/2023 08:57

Right I'll tell you what is making me angry
Pain
Poor sleep
Inability to carry out everyday activities like preparing and cutting my food, getting dressed, walking the dog, going to the gym, lifting anything heavier than a kettle, using my bike. I don't drive but if I did I wouldn't be able to
People suggesting that because this is not permanent, I should not sit in a priority seat on the bus, even though tfl provide this for those like me who are currently not able to stand
Did I mention pain and poor sleep?

I KNOW this is temporary. I'm not stupid. Are people not allowed to get help if their difficulties are temporary? Surely accessing help on a temporary basis prevents it becoming permanent and then needing even more support? All I wanted to do was sit on a bus for a few stops, I wasn't asking for a package of care and PIP!

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If it was only a few stops why didn't you walk?

Why can't you lift anything heavier than a kettle?

Maybe you should apply for PIP, you sound like you think you deserve it.

CountZacular · 15/06/2023 10:26

Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 10:13

Definitely not first come, first served with bus seats. You'd have to be extremely ignorant and selfish to adhere to that rule. Are you suggesting if the OP got on and the bus was full she just should have stood up the whole way despite her broken arm?

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Sure, if people who don’t require a priority seat are using one until someone with an actual need comes along (don’t the signs usually say to give them up to someone with a priority?).

But they are if there are more people with a need to use them than seats available. Or are we advocating for having lengthy discussions on the bus as to who has the greater need and turfing people off if their need isn’t sufficient enough?

Catchasingmewithspiders · 15/06/2023 10:25

Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 10:10

Yes, I understand not all visually impaired people have a medical cane or a guide dog. Where did I say that? Some will though, and the point I was making was that some disabilities are clearly VISIBLE to everyone and some are HIDDEN.

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Honestly at this point I have absolutely no idea what point you are trying to make with regards to the OPs situation.

You seem to be saying that some disabilities are visible and some are invisible. But then you also think it's awful for the OP to explain why she needed the seat. So out of interest what do you expect people with invisible disabilities to do if they cant explain like the OP did because that would be "entitled and selfish" if they do that to someone with a clear visible disability.