Reins on 4 year old?

There again if the child’s safe and the mum is not anxious everyone is happy and it’s not a big deal

Shouldn't be any need with a well behaved 4 year old not prone to running off. Are you usually particularly anxious?

They actually make harness style reins for older children a company called crelling . We use them but I’ve also lent them to several friends of neuro typical children when they have been going through various phases of behaviour and my neighbour borrowed them for her daughter when they went on holiday . You need to do what works

People will always find a reason to judge, reins or not. If the reins would give you peace of mind, I don't see why you wouldn't do it.

4 is still very young, tbh.

A few months ago, DH, ASD DD (also 4) and I went out to Chatsworth for a walk around the estate and we had her on her reins.

I happened to be stood a little way aways from them both when two men walked past and remarked on how they didn't wear them when they were young because they ''weren't naughty''. They had no way of knowing I was her mother and just overall elected to ignore it.

Granted, my child has significant needs but they have given me a lot of security of mind over time, especially when I don't have DH with me when out and about.

One of my offspring got confused in a dept store abroad one time (turned away whilst I was paying & wandered a bit) and was “lost” in the men’s department.
She was 4.
The absolute terror I felt will never leave me.

If you feel more at ease with reins, just do it. I would but I’m basing that on experience.

Sometimes I think it gives parents a false sense of security. Someone could easily cut the reins - at 4, they could even just take the backpack off and run for it (my just turned 4 year old would make short work of those type of clips), there's no real substitute for having your eyes on your child.

I guess I also think there is merit in giving your child some independence - 4 feels like a natural cut off to me as it's reception age. But I suppose it comes down to: if you do it when she is 4, when will you stop? If you have a clear sense in your mind that 5 is when you'll likely stop, fair enough, but if you sort of want to do it indefinitely it feels like it's edging into anxiety

I honestly wouldn't think twice about other parents using them, not my place to judge.

My nearly 6 year old wears a backpack reins set up, she has got ADHD.

Very wise to use them.

Never used them past about 2.5.

I wouldn’t dream of putting a well behaved NT 4YO who holds hands nicely on a lead in case someone tries to talk to them whilst you’re buying ice creams. Sorry but I think it’s a really weird thing to do and I see zero risk in that scenario because won’t you be right there? Reins all the way for a bolting toddler though!

My twins (both bolters, in opposite directions) were in the back packs with a strap. Let them pack it and they are even more likely to comply

If she holds your hand and isn't a flight risk, I really don't understand why you'd put a 4 year old child on a lead, poor little sod.

For dc with different needs and who struggle to understand not bolting off, I can get on board with as it keeps them safe. Safe from usual outside hazzards, like cars and rivers etc

But to use them in case a stranger snatches your dd while you are buying an ice cream, I think you need to have a little rethink on it.

In the kindest possible way, you have a perfectly lovely 4 year old, who behaves and listens to you and holds your hand, yet you're still going to put the poor little mite on a lead (sorry reins, but same thing).

What incentive does she have to staying with you and listening if she still has to be tied to you all the time?

If you feel safer, maybe take it and just reiterate to her to stay with you otherwise you'll need to use the reins on her. I mean its a threat/punishment, right? I can't see how any person, child or not, would be happy being walked around on a lead when they know and have shown they are capable of not fleeing the scene.

I could imagine using a buggy if it’s hot like this. Not sure about reins or wrist strap. We had the back pack with the rein. I’m n the UK 🇬🇧 m sure it would have been fine but in NYC I got such funny looks, I was glad we had Stroller

I would use reins/wrist strap on a four year old, and I did.

If that's what makes you feel comfortable the do it, never mind what other people might think. Your child, your decision.

I think it is ridiculous to have a 4 year old on a rein unless there are SEN.

Backpack with a strap is good.
We have a Thomas train one for our 3 year old and it's so much less hassle than strapping reins to him.
Just clip the backpack on and go.

My son has ADHD, he had backpack reins til around 6 - he was a bolter and once he spotted something he wanted to go and look at, he was deaf to everyone. He was also happy to approach and talk to anyone he felt like! So he had his backpack, a few people commented but I couldn’t care less, it was a real risk management strategy for him!

My son was a runner , he is also Deaf, not a good combination, so I kept reins in my bag until he was around 6, they were a very good deterrent

A backpack with strap may be better and less irritating to your daughter. DS with an much older still uses reins but has always disliked wrist straps.

if It makes you feel better than do it. Over cautions is better than under. I still grab the hands of my 12 year old when in a busy place. Can’t help it and they don’t mind.

I think it's a good idea. I would always prefer actual reins with a toddler, but at this age the wrist strap it seems a good middle ground.

I'd use them.
I used them with one of my children (a bolter) and now I use them with my grandson who is only 2 but again, an escape artist...and I'll use them until I feel he's safe.
I've had comments that it's like having my dog on a lead... yes! For the same reasons... I want them both to be safe (and frankly my dog has better recall )

I would go for the backpack with the reins. If it gives you peace of mind then I would do it

There is no harm in putting measures in place as a just in case

Yes I'd definitely use them. For those who are saying they wouldn't, why not? 4 is still very little and it's a busy, unfamiliar place. It's just extra peace of mind.