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AIBU?

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To have coffee

53 replies

housinghero · 12/06/2023 10:08

Talk some sense into me . me And my husband of 24 years have a very happy marriage . We are best friends but we have had a bit of a shit 12 months. 2 job
losses and a family bereavement.
we have a local pub that we go into now and then.
a few months ago I had a message from a man that goes into this pub. I don’t know him- seen him there , may have smiled hello but no more .
He sent me a message via Facebook (we are not friends . Saying ‘when can I see you again - I like it when I see you’
I told him to get lost
I have exchanged a couple of innocent messages due to a voluntary organisation his wife (yes he is married ) runs but nothing of substance
ww went to the pub on sat and were sat in the garden with friends.
I felt like I was being watched and turned to where my ‘sixth’ sense was telling me to look and it was him. I messaged him to tell him to stop watching me .
he is a pretty respectable guy and I do find him attractive
I feel a bit confused by it .
I almost want to meet him and
ask him what he is up to!!
tell me to get some sense!!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Theblacksheepandme · 12/06/2023 18:18

Wow OP, that guy is really missing out that you're not meeting him for coffee. You're husband must be thanking his lucky stars that he has you.

Don't be blaming menopause for wanting to cheat on your husband. There are many women including myself that wouldn't be distracted by a married creep. I'm not that desperate that a married creep would flatter me.

housinghero · 12/06/2023 17:41

Of yes of course he said go and £uck him if you want to darling …
what do you actually think he said

i will say it again- thank you to those of you that cleared my mind from the menopausal mess that death and financial worries produces
and the rest of you can go onto another post and be as judgmental as you want ….

OP posts:
Theblacksheepandme · 12/06/2023 17:29

What did your husband say about all this?

Wishimaywishimight · 12/06/2023 15:58

You are clearly enjoying the attention otherwise you would just ignore him.

housinghero · 12/06/2023 15:57

Yes I have told my other half . However I’ve learnt my lesson/ I just needed to clear my thinking so he is blocked and no more will happen

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 12/06/2023 15:47

Have you shown/told DH about the messages, OP?

ChrisPPancake · 12/06/2023 15:36

Apparently you quoted me in your post that was deleted @OneTC - I didn't read it so have no idea why it was reported, just in case you thought it was me! #paranoid

OneTC · 12/06/2023 14:52

OutdoorPillow · 12/06/2023 14:12

Swearing is allowed on MN.

I meant my post above got deleted for swearing

OutdoorPillow · 12/06/2023 14:12

OneTC · 12/06/2023 14:01

How do I get a post deleted for swearing?

Swearing is allowed on MN.

foulksmills · 12/06/2023 14:09

OutdoorPillow · 12/06/2023 13:28

Have no idea why it was deleted- MNHQ have strange rules around referencing previous threads (I didn’t, but remember the OP telling posters to “go fuck yourselves” previously and mentioned how she wasn’t in a position to moderate other people’s words).

Ah, thank you OutdoorPillow 😊

@OneTC I think you have to click 'Report Post'

OneTC · 12/06/2023 14:01

How do I get a post deleted for swearing?

DrManhattan · 12/06/2023 14:01

Well done on blocking him. Guys like this play the numbers game, he will be texting loads and hoping one will agree to meet him. Total creep.

OutdoorPillow · 12/06/2023 13:28

foulksmills · 12/06/2023 12:17

It's to make it sound all innocent -

"I had coffee with Brad"

vs

"Brad and I met up without our respective spouses in order to colored explore the possibility of maybe having extra martial sex."

(I really want to read OutdoorPillows deleted post 😬)

Have no idea why it was deleted- MNHQ have strange rules around referencing previous threads (I didn’t, but remember the OP telling posters to “go fuck yourselves” previously and mentioned how she wasn’t in a position to moderate other people’s words).

IamnotSethRogan · 12/06/2023 13:25

Good work on blocking him OP. Think people have been a bit harsh. It can be a bit disconcerting when someone shows you dome attention after you've been married for so long. Being attractive to other people is often a part of ourselves we forget and it can throw us off a bit. You had a mini wobble and did the right thing.

housinghero · 12/06/2023 13:17

Thanks for al you advice

OP posts:
Theblacksheepandme · 12/06/2023 13:02

You telling people to be kind is a joke. Would your husband think you are being kind to him at the moment? You are playing with fire OP and flirting with another man. Maybe your self esteem is low at the moment but I can guarantee you that another man is not the solution. He also sounds really creepy. Work on your marriage and grow up.

foulksmills · 12/06/2023 12:17

It's to make it sound all innocent -

"I had coffee with Brad"

vs

"Brad and I met up without our respective spouses in order to colored explore the possibility of maybe having extra martial sex."

(I really want to read OutdoorPillows deleted post 😬)

OneTC · 12/06/2023 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MasterBeth · 12/06/2023 11:50

Note to OP: you haven't been called pathetic.

The situation has been called pathetic.

At worst, your behaviour has been called pathetic.

These things are not the same.

Stormydanielss · 12/06/2023 11:49

That's deffo for the best, I think he may have caught you at a vulnerable time with the bereavement 💐 and job losses. You've done the right thing x

douglasadamswasright · 12/06/2023 11:45

Fair enough you're confused, but become unconfused.

You're considering throwing away a good marriage, which is a really rare thing, for a creep.

That will only end in deep regret.

Cut him off.

Lacucuracha · 12/06/2023 11:44

housinghero · 12/06/2023 11:42

He is blocked . No intention of taking anything any further

Good news!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 12/06/2023 11:43

Febreezefantastic · 12/06/2023 10:12

yes he is married

there you go. He's not that interested in you at all.

Plenty of people happy to have another bf/gf on the side!

housinghero · 12/06/2023 11:42

He is blocked . No intention of taking anything any further

OP posts:
LillyoftheMountain · 12/06/2023 11:38

You need to grow up, get over any flattery and put an end to this now.