Cry it out method... do people still do this?

I did it with my two when they were 7months old - thereabouts.
After 3 days they fell asleep by themselves 7-7 and I always knew after that, that when they cried they needed me so I went straight away.
They are 4 and 5 now and don't seem affected by it. They sleep through but know if they need anything they can always call out and I'll be there In 30 seconds or less!

It was necessary for our family due to the small age gap, and we did go to check on them regularly whilst doing CIO. They weren't alone but we did extend the time we went in after each time we went in...if you see what I mean.

No regrets here!

But.

You do what is right for your family.
Surely that's what everyone should do?

If you're happy with the way you do things and it works for you, then who cares what anyone else thinks?

Tbh. I am a total softie. I would've had the kids in our bed all the time for cuddles! But my husband was adamant that we sleep train.
In a way I'm so happy we did as they sleep so amazingly - wherever we go!
But also, I did miss out on those cuddles......
(I got loads of daytime ones though, obviously!)

Do whatever works for you and your family. Sometimes people give their views but I try to think they are justifying their parental decisions as opposed to directly telling you you're doing it wrong. It worked for them so they're going to say, but if what you are doing works for you that's fine too.

Bear in mind that if you're talking about enjoying contact naps/co sleeping together you're just saying what you do, and in turn someone else will say what they do/someone else they know. Ultimately we're just keeping kids alive and healthy and you do what works for you all. One parent wouldn't be able to CIO as it would affect them mentally, another may have a child where they are literally unable to sleep or rest due to sleep issues and have to do CIO or they would become very unwell. It's just what works for the family

Sorry OP but I'm unsure what you want from this thread. Your title asks do people still use cry it out, your OP asks why do people comment on different methods, both of which people have replied to and now you are saying you don't care what other methods people use and are making the thread about your MIL 🙈

It would help if people were less judgemental and polarised on both sides.

Those who disagree with it tend to label those who do it as neglectful, lazy, awful parents. Whereas those in favour of it tend to view those opposed to it as clingy and OTT etc.

I did it (controlled crying, not cry it out) with my first child and it worked a treat after just a few minutes of crying over two nights. My second child absolutely would not tolerate it and made herself sick in distress. After that I never attempted it again and she still co sleeps with us.

Fwiw i think it has its place but I don't think it works for all kids and if your baby is responding badly to it like mine did then it's cruel to carry it on. Yeah they all eventually sleep but if it's after hours of distress it's not worth it (in my opinion).

We all do our own thing though don't we. I wouldn't get worked up over anyone else's parenting choices.

Yes, I'd be worried about them possibly being thirsty for that long. I imagine crying heartily is thirsty work.

Ok but your thread is titled “cry it out method do people still do this?” Odd title if you aren’t really interested….

If it was just a Mil complaint/moan then perhaps another title might have been appropriate?

It does. But you were lucky my DSis was doing this until her boys were 9 and 7!

I haven't done any form of sleep training because children don't need to learn how to sleep, they already know how to.
My DD started sleeping through the night at 12 months, my DS is 5 months and wakes twice a night.
We contact nap, co-sleep and respond whenever they need us.
All babies get there in their own time.

Never feel bad for doing what works for you. They don't need to be left to cry for them to sleep.
If you find yourself doubting what you're doing then check out these Instagram accounts for information on normal infant sleep:
Fox and the Moon Infant Sleep
Little Nest Sleep
Second Star to the Right
Hey Sleepy Baby
Lyndsey Hookway

Not if they care about their child they don’t.

I think a lot of the time it’s not about leaving them to cry for hours it’s just not rushing in at every slight whimper.

Everyone, babies included, wake up multiple times a night. If they are used to attention, soothing, picking up to get them back to sleep they won’t be able to settle alone. And you’ll have years of sleep deprivation for you and your child. That is far worse than a few minutes of crying/fussing. Babies, at some point, need to learn to self settle.

But to be fair you should only do what you feel comfortable with. If you want to co-sleep/contact nap, rock the baby for hours to sleep then go ahead. It’s not really anyone’s business .

I used to have DC2 in the sling when he was small, or contact nap on my lap and toddler DC1 would read books or do stickers with me. DC2 often got woken up though!

Whatever works for you. I think cry it out is a bit much but I also think gently moving towards self soothing is important

Show me this evidence of brain damage, that's bullshit

A child with a responsive, caring parent won't be brain damaged because they spend 10-15 minutes crying for a few nights, FFS

What do you think happens with twins when you can't attend to both at once?

The thing that causes brain damage is being left to cry in a USSR orphanage type of way - nobody ever responds and you're always left so children learn not to cry

Absolutely 100% different to a well cared for child being helped to learn new habits over a few nights

Parents are often absolutely at their wits' end when trying sleep training, it's incredibly damaging and irresponsible to post pseudo-science claiming they'll damage their kids if they do anything differently

Yep this! The co sleeping, sling wearing "I have mever allowed my baby to cry for one second" crew can be just as annoying. If you don't like your Mil's advice just ignore it.

As for wehther people do sleep training - you know full well some people do, but it's none of your business is it? Was this just a goady thread?

I don't think anyone really leaves babies crying alone for hours.

But i think this idea that they will just doze off silently/happily can be what leaves people struggling with bedtime routines.

Unless you breastfeed them to sleep (which for my two involved holding & feeding them continously for hours, they'd simply wake if you removed the breast from their mouth after less than about an hour), lots of babies will grumble/fidget a bit for a few minutes at bedtime. They are tired, they have fomo, and have no other way to communicate those feelings than to whinge a bit. I'm not talking about prolonged distressed crying here.

With my two i realised if i just let them whimper/fuss, it only lasted about 3 or 4 minutes whereas if i rocked and soothed and held them, they found that quite stimulating and it made it worse.

What did you say to her when she said these comments? I think no contact is very dramatic and unfair on your child and your other half who will be cutting contact by default. I would tell her you will come to her if you need advice but for now you are happy to keep trying your way. Going no contact doesn't achieve anything, when / if you resume contact you will still have the same issue.

Exactly secretVictoria! if you have 3 kids to juggle (at one point we had 3 under 3) then you have to for the sake of your sanity do something like this. lovely if you just have the one pfb but thats not the experience for everyone. plus, I would not have been able to cope at all with no sleep and how is having a mother too tired to go to the shops or the park with a child a good thing? Of course no one wants their child crying but neither do I want an exhausted unhappy child unable to do things during the day because they have had no sleep.

What if you had to go to work and were knackered? Or had another child who also needed attention?

People who do things like you also have something to say, I see so many banging on about it on the internet. People in general can be nosy and offer unsolicited opinions.

My mother never did it with us and I'm nearly 40 and my grandmother never did it with her kids either. So I never even considered it with DS.

Everyone offers unsolicited advice. Everyone. The best way to avoid it with people who you dont want an opinion from is to gloss over it.

When MIL asks about baby sleep/weaning/anything else the answer is a vague "everything is fine, it's going well." That's it.

Sleep is such a polarising subject and one that people LOVE to give advice on, even though what works for one child does not work for another. I have found women in the US are more likely to go for the more extreme versions of sleep training, I imagine is brought on by the lack of real maternity leave.

I also think we live in a consumerist society and we love to be sold an answer for everything.

My almost 3 year old was always a contact cosleeper - crying would not work because she goes straight to hysterical choking crying. I let her lead and she self weaned herself at night and started sleeping 7-7 at 2.5. That worked for us.

I imagine if you have multiple children and shiftwork, you might need to try other methods.

I think the most important thing to remember is sleep is developmental.

I think going no contact for this is over the top.

Plenty of mums leave their babies to cry from time to time. Some times they are going to lose it, some times there is another child, some times they need a shower, sometimes they are sleep training.

Leaving them wailing for hours is probably a bit much, but honestly this seems like an over reaction.