Cry it out method... do people still do this?

Not sure why you sent that to me? I have already said that I have never and would never do CIO or controlled crying.

I was responding to PP saying there is unsolicited advice for everything!

Contact napping ! controlled crying ! Sleep training ! 🤣 sorry but why do we need all these terms for things that people have been doing with their children since time began ?
Do what works for you and nobody else ! You are the parent and every child is different and what works for you won’t work for someone else !

Exactly.

Also no mention of how poor the study is which claims it can cause brain damage. The data used case studies from Child Protective Services which is the US social services and the children involved had all experienced actual neglect.

I have twins. I’ve never tried the cry it out method as I’m a sucker and feel mean. I settle my two for naps and at bedtime. Bedtime can take an hour to get them to sleep (from reading them stories to actual sleep time). But they sleep form 9pm - 7:30am and only wake occasionally and generally go straight back down.

part of me wishes they would just be put in bed and then that’s it’s. But they’re 2.5 now I figure at some point they won’t want me. So while they do I’m here 🤷🏽‍♀️

https://www.babycenter.com/expert-penelope-leach

Dr. Penelope Leach is a grandmother of many with many many years experience in child development as well as a solid background in research.

She is by no means 'self-proclaimed' she is international recognised as extremely skilled and knowledgeable in her field.

Wow, the words 'some', 'could' and 'may' are doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting in that article from 2010 which seems to focus around a self described 'parenting expert' trying to sell her book.

🙄

BBC News - Crying-it-out 'harms baby brains'

Yep, being a mother seems very damned if you do and damned if you don't.

But why when you don't use the Cry it out method do people have something to say?
People have something to say whatever you do. Sleep related or not. Breastfeed? You’re a slave to them, Formula Feed, you’re not giving them the best. Cry it out, you’re damaging them, responsive sleeping, you’re creating a rod for your own back they’ll never sleep properly, repeat ad nauseam.

Just smile and nod while ignoring whatever bullshit person is spouting and practice your butchery skills in your head 😂

This Is one of the silliest posts I've read on MN. Secure attachment creates independence - as if a baby is going to think 'my parents not responding to me but this is so empowering'.

I've never done CIO or controlled crying and my children sleep just fine now. I read them a story and lie with them for a few moments and off they pop to sleep.

I love the closeness of putting them to bed, I work full time and they go to after-school clubs so this is one of the only times I get to connect with them.

If they need me to lie with them to go to sleep or sleep in my bed then I do that too, children aren't little for long and they won't need you forever.

I get the desperation for sleep, mine were awful when younger but I refused the unsolicited advice and did contact naps, co sleeping, breastfeeding to sleep and responding to their needs because that's how I wanted to parent. If you don't want to do it ignore her.

Ignore what people say and go with what you feel is best! I do not agree with CIO especially at a young age.

We co slept with our daughter for 3 years, it was great and worked well but as she got bigger it no longer worked for us (she’d go to bed earlier than us and we’d just go up when ready). Transitioning was easy as we were able to explain that she’s a big girl and it’s time to go in her own bed. We’ve had sooooo many comments over the years but honestly she’s always been a terrible sleeper and it’s the only way we could ever get any sleep…plus we all actually liked it until it got cramped.

We now have a 5 week old and will do the same again unless he’s naturally a better sleeper :)

I did it for 3 nights on each of my 4 kids and that was it. Bingo.

Stress can be a form of harm I suppose, but it's a temporary and totally normal one. Like a skinned knee. There's a difference between minor harm like this and big T trauma, brain damage, broken attachment, ACEs etc.

I don't believe the learned helplessness idea unless maybe you're talking about the full on close the door and don't come back.

I didn't sleep train, but I do think the idea that it's harmful is silly. In the context of a secure loving relationship, it's stressful. That's all. I didn't want to do it, because I didn't want to cause that stress unnecessarily, and it was unnecessary for me.

For somebody else, the short term stress vs sleep necessity calculation will look different.

You have to do what's right for your own family. You don't need to sleep train OP if you don't want to.

At the same time it's not a decision between sleep train or cosleep forever! For me feeding to sleep was the quick and easy method. I stopped doing this when it became annoying, around 2.5 for DS1, 2 for DS2, 16 months for DS3. It took a little bit longer the younger they were but I never left them to cry. I just comforted them in a different way which took more effort from me in the middle of the night.

People have plenty to say when you do sleep train too, usually people who have never done any sleep training method and make incorrect assumptions.

I sleep trained my 6 month old from birth but have never used the cry it out method.

I agree with this too, I do think some kids just perhaps aren't good sleepers. Mine took to it instantly which is why I'm such an advocate, but he always was a great sleeper anyway, just around 8 months he decided he didn't like his cot anymore and I was too scared to risl co-sleeping as I had a friend who's child died this way. Once I had him into a proepr routine, with timed naps, and tried sleep training I actually felt bad I hadn't done it earlier as he was sleeping about 3-6 more hours in a 24 hour cycle. The science behind it is quite fascinating (my friend is now a professional sleep coach so I haven't learn3d loads from her).

Totally, one thing I don't understand is your baby is worse off if they can't sleep properly and aren't getting quality sleep. I don't see why you'd want your child to need to wake up and need comforting unless its actually you who wants to feel needed. My neice still sleeps with her parents and she's 7! Another nephew slept with his mum til he was 12!! 😳🤯

No I don't think anyone does that. That basically means you just leave the baby in the room to cry forever. Everyone I know has done a version of Ferber, my version only went to 3 min max, then you go back in the room for a cuddle, I think most are 5 minutes. Totally recommend it. I think it took two times to go in the room, baby started sleeping through for 12 hours at 9 months. No looking back for me. You also need to get naps right as day sleep, affects night sleep.

I didn't do it, couldn't do it, hate the idea of it. Babies require comfort and company not to mention they have small stomachs so need feeding little and often. I always held my daughter to sleep and tended to her when she cried as a baby. She was a bad sleeper back then but it all changed once she turned 1 and she just naturally started sleeping through the night. Then, as a toddler, she began (again it was done on her terms when she was ready for it) to happily go to sleep by herself in her own room without needing me to stay with her. So my comfort and lack of sleep training didn't cause any issues with her sleep in the long-term.

But I have friends who did sleep-train, one did it with her 3 children from a very young age, and they equally seems to have happy, well adjusted children so each to their own. Personally though it wasn't for me. You're the mum, you decide how to raise your own child because you'll have to live with your choices.

Same! CIO and CC are in the same bracket for me. A five minute interval would feel like 5 hours of extreme distress.

Are you sniffing glue?!

The first link directly references 'romanian orphanages' as it's study group.

The second link isn't a study, it's an opinion piece.

The third link by your own admission isn't anything to do with crying children.

🤦🏾‍♂️