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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband

56 replies

MrsPetty · 11/06/2023 18:38

My husband gets hit on a lot! I can totally see why. He’s a cool dude. But he wears a really visible wedding ring and we’re very happily married. AIBU to think all is not fair in love and war? We live in different countries and he tells me about some of the madder incidences. Just this week a woman asked him if he was married and he said yes, so she asked if she could be his cleaner or gardener! AIBU to think it’s shabby of some women not to give AF that he’s someone’s husband just because I’m not by his side 24/7?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPetty · 11/06/2023 19:29

@Dacadactyl We have a business in the UK and I live in Ireland with my DC (not DHs) - I/they didn’t want to change our family dynamic overnight, blending can take time. @CherryOBaybe He’s super formal. Not flirty at all! He has nothing to gain or lose by telling me. We speak several times a day so it comes up in conversation. He knows I don’t suffer with jealousy/insecurity. And I trust him 💯. It took an awful long time for us to get to where we are. He definitely wouldn’t risk it for a fling. @TomatoSandwiches He’s 65!!! It’s not like he’s a young thang…but I think he looks good for his age.

I think he is genuinely shocked and confused by it a lot of the time. For some reason it won’t let me add an image.
I think I just find it sad that women that KNOW he has a wife - two that have actually met me - think it’s okay to make passes at him.

OP posts:
Denise82 · 11/06/2023 18:57

Whats his reason to even tell you this? What exactly is he angling for from you. That would be my question to him

TomatoSandwiches · 11/06/2023 18:51

We need a picture to judge.

CherryOBaybe · 11/06/2023 18:50

It could have been said as a joke.
Many people see flirting as just harmless fun, married or not.
I think if your husband was a bit more formal and put boundaries early on they wouldn't be as brazen though will still get hit on. Something about his demeaner is probably giving the impression he would either cheat or be the type to enjoy this kind of 'banter'.. maybe he acts too friendly and matey.

Menopants · 11/06/2023 18:43

Why is he telling you this?

Dacadactyl · 11/06/2023 18:42

Why are you living separately?

I don't think it's on for someone to approach a man with a wedding ring, so I'd agree with you on that. However, maybe they've never seen you with him and wonder why, so are asking because of that.

As an aside, what is your husband hoping to gain from telling you this stuff?!